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Posts: 3
Okay, so this is kind of sick, but I can't help thinking it. And I just need to talk about it somewhere, so I'm just going to assume there are people here that have had this same sort of situation.

So my cat dissapeared just under two months ago (about 7 weeks), so hundreds of posters and whatnot later, we've had loads of calls for "spottings" all over the place (so there's no way most of them could have been him), but of course I stalk those areas regularly and haven't seen any of these cats that supposedly look just like him. But anyway, today some boys apparently called and told my mother they found him dead last week and buried him. She is just like 100% 'oh well, he's dead then'. But like last week she had already decided to give up and went around and took down posters (but she doesn't know where I put most of them :P). I can't just give up like that, and I also can't just believe that they could in certainty look at a little picture and be sure that is the exact same dead animal they saw a week ago.

I know where he is (well, my mum does), he's just off a path in relatively nearby park. I'm sure you can guess what I'm thinking.

Please, somebody talk me in or out of it.
I deal with dead animal bodies at work, not rotten ones, granted (how much can a body decompose in a week, btw?), I don't know ... I just can't accept it. They could so easily have mistaken him...

Posts: 8

Not knowing is so hard and the decision you are making now is just as difficult. I can't even imagine being in your place and I am so sorry. A few suggestions which might help:

Do not exhume the cat's remains yourself, whether they are your baby or not, I'm sure the act itself would be devastating for you but I do understand your need for closure. You need to explain this to your family and/or friends and ask for their assistance.

Perhaps your local veterinarian can offer some insight to the condition that the body may be in by this time and may be able to assist you. Alternatively, there are companies here in Australia that assist in the burial and/or cremation of your pets, not sure about your country, and they might be willing to assist in checking the remains and providing you with the closure you need.

Many of these companies have specially designed burial sachets and caskets for pets too and can help you with a memorial that may help with closure also.

I can tell you from my experiences with losing my animal friends that it is difficult to get the last image out of your head and I would not want you to remember your cat in a state other than the happy, loved one you would have seen them last. I would recommend either your vet that knew them well or a close family member or friend that also knew your cat well and could take a photo with them to definitively identify markings on their coat etc. This person needs to be someone you trust implicitly, someone you know won't just tell you an answer they think you need to hear and someone that is an animal lover and understands the pain you are feeling. Ask them to identify whether this cat is yours or not, please don't put yourself through the agony of looking yourself.

If the body turns out to be your loved pet, and I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that they come home to you, ask the pet cremation/burial team if there is some way you could be with your pet to say goodbye. They will be able to let you know kindly whether the body is in a state that you could perhaps hold them in a blanket or not.

An alternative to actually exhuming the remains may be to contact a good animal communicator who has had experience with communicating with live animals and those that have passed on. It is important they have a lot of experience with both as the vibration the animal offers is different when they are on the earth or not. They may be able to let you know whether your fur friend has passed on and if so, whether there is a benefit in you collecting this body. Remember, it is a body, it isn't your baby's spirit which is always with you whether they have passed away or not. Their heart and love is always with you. If your little one has left this life, the communicator may be able to let you know how they would like you to memorialize them and have the closure you need and if they haven't, they may be able to help you find them.

I hope it turns out well for you and your beautiful one. I know it is horrible when they are missing and you don't know what's happened. I have lost both of my Maltese in such tragic and definite circumstances and sometimes wish they were not gone and they would walk back in the door and jump all over me. I don't envy you though and my thoughts go out to you, whatever you decide to do.

Posts: 1,205
I really dont know what to advise.  Obviously you want to know, but do you think it will upset you more to see the little body.  Even if it is not your sweet boy, I think that the sight of it will be too much.  Love Di xxx

Posts: 9
Wow--I understand completely, and I'd want to do the same thing. I haven't really thought this all through, and you don't have much time, so I'm just going off the top of my head as to what I'd do.

First of all, since so many others have seen animals and they weren't yours, chances are that this is not your baby, either.

Advice: Get the city or county government to help you.

Animal Control workers deal with all sorts of situations. If it were me, I'd call the county's Animal Control and see if they'll help you. In my area, it's against the law to bury animals in one's yard because it's considered to be a health hazard. It could be the same in your area, although you said that the burial was in a park. The county probably doesn't want animals buried there, either, and would probably help you if you explain the situation. Animal Control usually works on Saturdays too.

I'd also make sure with those boys that you know the exact spot, and that they weren't fooling around and just playing with you. I'm a teacher, and some kids will do that. How old are they? They could be the sweetest kids in the world, and thought they were doing a really nice thing, but if they had your number, why wouldn't they call you first before going to that trouble? Have you talked to them? Don't assume the worst, but I would have questions. Maybe they should show you the exact area. Bring a friend along--you don't know these kids.

The best scenario would be if you met them there with the Animal Control people or some other government representative. I'm thinking I might not even tell the kids that you're bringing the Animal Control person, because they might get scared and may not show up.

If I was there, I'd go with you, but call Animal Control, or someone at the county, or the park. Even if it is your baby, you probably will not want to leave him or her there. Regarding the condition, I would think that a lot will have to do with the temperature in your area, and how deep they dug.

For those who say you don't want that memory, that's true, but keep a lot of pictures around, and you won't remember it for long. Or bring a picture, and whoever is helping you can compare. You may not have to look at it. If there's a question about whether it's yours, say that you want everything covered except the leg, for instance, and they can probably just show you the leg, and maybe that's all you'll need to make sure it's yours or not. I had a private visitation with my dog, and I was afraid to see him, so I asked to have his face and body covered, then I slowly removed it when I was ready.

Feel free to e-mail me if you want:

I'm so sorry about your situation, and hope your little one comes romping home soon.

Sara Minton
Fullerton, CA

Posts: 774
Hi Bianca;
It can be pretty bad after a week.
Now does your Mom know these boys? Or are they just some random kids that happened to call. Maybe they are lieing. Little boys have a tendency to do that sort of thing. Did they know your cat.
Look my gut instinct says they are decieving you. for what ? I don't have a clue. they are kids right? I would keep up the search efforts and not give some kids story a second thought. Of course i maybe don't have enough details .
i hope you find your kitty alive and well


Posts: 40
I had the same thing happen with my dog Sable that is still missing almost two years later.. I had two calls that said he had been hit on the road...we went up right away..there was nothing..we called the roads dept. they had nothing.... Then we received calls of sightings of him and have still received calls up until Jan. of this year.
I think perhaps people think they have seen the animal and relate it to a poster but in fact it is another animal.
With us, we believe it must have been someone's pet that was hit and they buried it themselves before we got there.
I think you need to know a lot more so you are not giving up if your cat is indeed still out there looking for you.

Posts: 9
Hi, Bianca--

How's it going? I've been thinking about you and wondering what you've decided to do, or if your kitty has come home. Please keep us posted.


Posts: 763

Bianca, I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you. What a terrible thing for you to have to go through. There is nothing I can add to the good advice others have given you. Was your kitty an inside/outside cat? If he was an outside, it is very possible he is still alive. My daughter took in an outside and 2 years later he got out. He never wanted to come back home to her and would take off. Two years later he is still around. I hope your baby comes back home to you. Please keep us posted. Donna, Mr. Meowgy's mom

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