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pipersmom1

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Posts: 12
 #1 
Hi all. I am here to get some support and hopefully,find some peace.
We lost our beloved dog,Maggie,a lab mix just 2 weeks ago.
She was only 5 years old and she had a brain tumor. We had to have her "put down"
Maggie was like our child,a very important part of our family. I have never had children,so I always form a very strong attachment to my dogs.
I am beyond heartbroken, I loved her deeply and miss her terribly.
Sometimes I wonder if I can stand the pain. It is actually a physical pain,as well as emotional.
Then,I feel "silly" being so grief stricken over a dog. I feel like I am expected to be "over it".
She was not "just a dog "though,as I said,she was family.
Any words of wisdom?
redbecky57

Registered:
Posts: 69
 #2 

i lost my Maggie 4 month ago and she was my life,i cant tell you how or how not to act b/c i am still  a blithering idiot,when someone starts on about Mags i fall to pieces,i can only say we are here for you to lean on,love and hugs to you

heathert

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Posts: 21
 #3 
Hi Piper's mom,
I am so sorry about your loss of Maggie. I lost my beloved Corgi 2 weeks ago and I have found the grief to be overwhelming. There are days where it has physically hurt just to walk. Please know that you are not alone. I started reading and posting here a few days after her death. It is strange to think that a website can help you through something as personal as this, but I have to say that being on here has been helpful. It is good to know that you are not alone. Everyone has been kind and supportive. It is nice to express grief where there is no judgement. Please come back and write whatever and whenever you like. I have written letters to my dog almost everyday for the last two weeks. It might seem strange to some, but I miss her presence so much that it is a way of me staying connected to her memory. It has been healing.

Maggie knows that you love her. Please take comfort in that.
Peace to you and your family,
Heather
pipersmom1

Registered:
Posts: 12
 #4 
Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I am very sad that we all have to be here,but it is comforting to know that I am not alone,and to be in the company of people who know exactly what I am feeling now.
Alot of people just dont understand how I can still be so sad,so I try to put on a brave face.
At least I know I can come here and not be judged.
Again,I'm so sorry for all of your losses.
rottiesrule

Registered:
Posts: 596
 #5 
Piper's mom, please do not feel silly for loving a dog the way you love Piper! If someone doesn't understand your feelings, well, they can pound sand! To the people here, our pets are our children, loved no less than human babies. And when one of them dies, the pain is sometimes worse than loosing a human.

You are in the very early stages of grieving, everything you come into contact with will cause a fresh burst of pain. I can tell you that in time, you will learn to channel your grief and start to come back into your "normal" world. It takes different lengths of time for each of us. I still haven't seen Bubba's ashes because I'm not ready yet. He died in July, and it's not something I want to do yet. But in time, I'm sure I will.

If it hurts to look at Piper's pictures, take them down until you're ready. It's not disrespectful, it's self preservation. Take the steps you have to in order to adjust and live without Piper. I talk to Bubba every day, even if it's just a goodmorning to his screen saver on my computer. I've been getting little downy feathers sent to me, and I swear it's Bub letting me know he's ok.

I had to get rid of the guilt I had been feeling because I couldn't honor and remember the wonderful times we had. Bubba was so pure, so good and guilt should not be part of what I remember. It takes time. Be kind to yourself.
bartinmi

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Posts: 32
 #6 

I am so sorry for the loss of your Maggie.  Your heartbreak is totally understandable.  You have lost your dear friend and it would be unusual if you were not heartbroken.  There are no words of wisdom, other than that your grief is totally normal.  I know that for me it took much much longer than two weeks before I began to feel good again.  May time bring you peace also.

pipersmom1

Registered:
Posts: 12
 #7 
Thanks again. Just an fyi,rottiesrule,Piper is the dog I still have. Maggie is the dog I just lost. Sorry for the confusion!
I don't feel a whole lot of guilt about Maggie. I know we did what was best for her.
I do feel alot of anger and bitterness. Like why did my dog,who was loved and adored,who lived in the house,and slept in our bed,and was so well cared for have to get sick? Why not the dog that is just that,a dog,not a beloved family member? Not that I would wish any animal to get sick,but do you understand where I'm coming from? Like why not the dog that is tied to a dogbox,and gets thrown a bowl of food every couple of days? Terrible to say,but it feels like all the care and love and affection we gave her didn't make any difference. She was still taken away from us at such a young age.
My sister has one of Maggie's siblings,and she basically lives outside,and they don't walk her or anything. They love her,but she is just their pet. Again,I would never wish this pain on anyone,let alone my sister,but I am bitter cause Maggie got sick,and Winnie,who they essentially ignore,didn't.
I am not a horrible person,but I feel like I can air my true feelings here without being judged.
Thanks for listening and for all of your kind words.


swimmer01

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #8 
What redbecky said, I am a "blithering idiot," still, my cat has been gone two months.  Someone at work said he was sorry and I had to walk away into a woman's stall to stop crying.  I thinks it's completely normal to hurt that way and such a young pup too.

Hugs,

Swimmer

LizD

Registered:
Posts: 80
 #9 
I am so sorry about your Maggie. When I read you felt physically sick I could relate. Last June my Bennie (lab mix, 13 y.o) died......I'd been heartbroken and sad before when losing a pet but this time I felt physically ill....it gradually did get better(the physical part)....but I know I will always miss him.  I was pretty blindsided this time around with Bennie......the sadness was so intense. It helped me alot to just tell Bennie's story here and to post pictures. It made me feel less crazy! You have come to the right place here.
Take care and please tell stories here about Maggie!
WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #10 
I am so very sorry you lost your beloved girl, Maggie.  I so understand your deep attachment to her.  When I lost my little Min Pin, Raphie, and my terrier mix, Betsy Noodle, actually  felt physically ill for awhile as well as heartbroken.  It just hurts so terribly to lose one so dear.  When you feel up to it, I would love to hear more about your precious girl.  You will be in my prayers.

Melissa
Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #11 
I am sorry your precious little Maggie has passed on.  Losing her at such a young age is even more painful.  I wish that animals were unable to get so sick.  They don't understand why things are happening to them and it is so hard watching them struggle with their illness.  Our fur babies mean the world to us and life is not any fun without them.  Maggie was very blessed to be in a very loving home. 

Mare
precious Christoph ~ gone two years now ~

pipersmom1

Registered:
Posts: 12
 #12 
Thanks again everyone. I am very touched by all of your kind words.
David(my wonderful husband,and Maggies beloved Daddy) had to go and pick her ashes up at the vet's today. Another sad event. Poor David was so attached to her,as was my 18 yr old stepson. She was their first puppy,and they adored her as much,or maybe even more than I did. I always used to joke that Maggie was David's soulmate,they were so close! :(
I asked that the ashes be put away somewhere for now. I will be able to look at them sometime,not now though.
I am just getting to the point now that I can talk about her and maintain my composure.
I can't even look at pictures of her,and remembering the good times with her is still unbearably painful. I know that will get better with time.
Someday I will share some stories,and post some pictures,but right now I'm just trying to get by.
If any of you are on Facebook and want to see pics,you can go to my profile. Penny Gaydosh Walters. I'm not a freak about privacy(if you want privacy,don't go on Facebook!!) so feel free to check it out!
MommyofJackson

Registered:
Posts: 20
 #13 
Dear Pipersmom1:  My heart aches when reading your posts.  5 years is way way too young.  I also lost my very young friend, a 2-1/2-year-old golden retriever in July.  He got ill while being boarded when we were away on vacation and passed away while we were gone.  That heartache was the worst feeling ever.  Jackson was our "new family"  All our kids are grown and gone.  I have also lost my two parents over the last 4 years, and as terrible as this sounds, I must tell you, this was just as painful, if not worse.  People that don't have pets just don't understand.  

I was fortunate enough to be be able to sign up for pet grief counseling, and went to 4 sessions in September.  It was very helpful in being able to share my story with other people that have gone through the same situation.  As we all know, time has a way of healing the heart.  I am now 3 months to the day that my beloved Jackson passed away, and although I am very sad tonight and have tears in my eyes, I can honestly tell you I am slowly moving forward.  Never forgetting, just trying to get by day to day.  We must remember, "Grief is a process, not an event.  It cannot be rushed."  I am going through the process, one day at a time.  I miss Jackson every day and would give anything to have him right here beside me like he always was. As silly as it sounds, I believe he is now with my Mother and Father and is their loyal companion taking care of them.  Thinking that thought is the only way I know of to get through this awful situation.  

Please keep in touch with all of us.  It might be too early, but try if you can to focus on your wonderful memories.  It will get better, but it will be a slow process.  Take Care. Diane
LindaK

Registered:
Posts: 1,405
 #14 
I am so very sorry for your loss of Maggie. I understand how much you are hurting. I have a deep attachment to my fur babies because I don't have any human children. It's okay to grieve for your Maggie more than you grieve the death of a human. I know how mean and crazy that sounds. I have lost dearly loved family members and friends but I have dealt with their losses better than the losses of my pets. I'm sorry to ramble and hope this will make some sense. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
God bless,Linda
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