Petloss.com Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
tiellovetruelove

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #1 
I just can't pretend I am never sad anymore.  I lost my tiny buddy to unknown causes.  He was intelligent and super-affectionate, and never asked for anything but love.

It is bad enough that he was young, not even half-way to his life expectancy, and I was totally in shock.  Not knowing what took him--if it could have been prevented, if it was genetic, just simply WHAT happened period--is eating at me.  Does anyone know of a good resource for exotic pets/avian?  I know there are others here like me, who just want some insight so we know why our loved ones are suddenly gone?

My husband thinks I need to stop thinking about it, and then I will be able to enjoy his memory without feeling so sad about how he passed.  I miss him terribly anyway, but I feel like I can't get past the way he died without understanding why.
Thanks all--

VAG048

Registered:
Posts: 29
 #2 
HI tiellovetruelove,

Sorry to be basic, but did you try the AVMA for any leads? (I think it's the American Veterinary Medical Assoc.) I have been doing the same thing for months now (it has helped alittle) - trying to figure out why I lost my baby girl (but she was 13 1/2 wounded at kitten-time kitty...a bit different, for sure). I have found some Diplomates who i then either just wrote to, and/ or had the testing sent to for a post-mortem review. I did about 20 online searches for qualified people to help me (and I found some).

It atleast gave me some idea. I firmly believe undiagnosed cancer, but I totally understand why you would like to or need to know. We may never know for certain, but I am glad I have been trying to resolve. It has helped a little/Good Luck, be well.....Vickie
Becky57

Registered:
Posts: 657
 #3 
Vickie
I have been trying to find people who look at my necropsy report and blood work.  Mostly I have just emailed veterinarians who couldn't tell me much more than my vet.  Would you mind giving me a website or some possible searches for people who would review necropsy reports.  Thank you.
VAG048

Registered:
Posts: 29
 #4 
Hi Becky,

Good for you that you have the necropsy report! I thought of it way too late, which was terrible to find out. I would try The Animal Medical Center (it's in NYC), their Chief of Pathology was nice when I sent him an inquiring note (he's the one who told me it was too late). I don't know if we're allowed to put emails, but: keith.baer@amcny.org, since it's to help, I hope they'll let it post. Otherwise I would try the AVMA (loosely - American Veterinary Medical Association)- they should have pathologists info. GOOD LUCK! /Vickie
Becky57

Registered:
Posts: 657
 #5 

Thank you Vickie.  I did call the AVMA. They let me talk to a doctor, but I don't believe she could add to anything else I already had.  Most of the calls ihave made have gone along pretty much with what my vet said.  Basically he is making a guess.  He prescribed aspirin and I gave it to her after signs of bleeding which i didnt recognize and failed to tell him in time.  But because she had underlying problems--he thought immune and liver problems--the aspirin reacted horribly and caused a fatal bleed.  I intend to talk with him one more time when I go to pay the bill.  It has been five weeks and still haven't received bill so I know he is upset at this whole mess, too.  Thanks again.

Becky57

Registered:
Posts: 657
 #6 

Vickie, I also emailed that doctor in NY with my informtion just in case.  I will let you know if I find out anything.  I sure appreciate it.

VAG048

Registered:
Posts: 29
 #7 
Hi Becky,

I'm glad they let the email post. I hope you get to send him the reports, you never know - you might just get a better answer, which could help you more.
I know I wrote this, but he is the Chairman of Pathology, kinda the top guy at a good place. The educated guesses I have gotten (from paying, sending history & whatever testing was done, no necropsy though) -has helped me a little.

I truly am so sorry for your loss of your baby, the circumstances for you, myself and alot of other wonderful, loving, caring, sensitive people on here are beyond terrible. I had my girl to a top specialist center - and I challeneged their diagnosis like I've never challenged my own doctors - and they swore up & down, no cancer. Good Luck again, Becky. My prayers are with you. And seriously, I don't take aspirin unless I have to and this small valium like xanax has taken the physical pain from my heart. Not the sadness, but the terrible pain. Be well.-Vickie
Becky57

Registered:
Posts: 657
 #8 
VAGO, I had to thank you again for giving me that email.  I wrote down every single thing last night and never expected to hear a word.  He replied early this morning--quite detailed.

  He believed that the aspirin would , of course, dramatically increase bleeding. However he said that it was clear from the necropsy that there was more to this than the aspirin issue.  He had hoped that my vet would have taken tissue from the liver, but I called to day and he had not.  So that will be as far as I can go. 

 The part where I break down is when he referred to my report as a "very disturbing case."  I cried all day because of her suffering and how bad she must have been and I kept yakking about arthritis. I remember also how shook up my vet was and how he told my nephew it was the worst bleeding he had ever seen.  Another vet whose uses aspirin in treating shar pai fever said he had never heard of anything like it in all his years of aspirin use.  It just breaks my heart to think how bad she was and I did nothing to turn this around.

 I know just when the really bad stuff started--March 1--that was when I called the vet late at night because she was chilling and trembling.  We used an aspirin and a half in three days and then she was almost like her old self.  But then it came back in about a week--she couldn't get up and pain again.  Instead of taking her in the next day, I called him again late at night and we started aspirin.  I believe my vet is correct in saying that this was the beginning of her immune system turning on her. The reason the aspirin helped at first was because immune disease causes inflamation in all the cells and organs.
The liver damagae can be immune related also. 

I could tell today that the girl who answered the phone at my vets was getting a little snippy.  I told her I was going to talk to him again---I just want to somehow understand this whole horrible process.  I hate it that my dog has to be the worst everyone has ever heard of-I just get sick thinking about it. And there were dozens of chances I had to stop it.  HEr nails were sloughing off and I didn't know that was a sign of immune, she had a bad yeast infection in ear, she was falling apart right before my eyes and didn't have a clue what an immune disease was.

I don't thinkI can get much more confirmation than this.  You are right--this doctor is tops plus he is extremely compassionate and kind.  He had forwarded my email to a woman in charge of grief group.  He pretty much confirmed what my vet had said.  Thank you again.  It means a lot to me even though the hurt and sadness is just beyond anything I could ever imagine.


VAG048

Registered:
Posts: 29
 #9 
Dear Becky57,

OK - before I forget to write this - I am soooo very, very glad he helped you.
(I did not know if you were in NY or not, and was not sure if an email would be thoroughly replied to - but God Bless Him!)

But? It seems to me - he said one thing that was VERY important, and VERY IMPORTANT to your healing: he said it was much more than the aspirin (not exact quote, cause i forgot the exact words already...)

i think i read in one of your old notes, that a vet said something about "your ignorance"...WELL! I could say that to the apparent Diplomate (a supposedly really, really good vet - 1st time my girl went to a reallllly good vet) who misdiagnosed MY cat's (apparently) terminal illness! I questioned them a few times too. Are you sure it's not cancer??  Do not even consider that comment, if I read that correctly. PLEASE.  I stayed off the internet -and as Humans alot of people I know do (about our own ailments). You know why? Because then we'd be convinced we had everything from cancer (which my girl actually prob did have...but the internet would've called it very rare - again, thus only misleading me...) to typhoid fever. Get my point even a little?  THE VET should've asked more, done more. But just like human doctors - they are beyond fallible.  Look up Human misdiagnosis's, really - it may help - it helps me. We are at their stupid mercy, or lack of it sometimes...

You loved your Dog, YOU KNOW YOU DID. Maybe you knew deep down it was her time??  I have been starting to come to grips with my girls passing, but she passed on 1.1.08 - give yourself time. AND remember your intentions are always what matter. The results? Are in God's Hands (sorry if perhaps we differ on this, but I am a deep believer in God...)  Try to get something to help with the overwhelming sadness if you can. Your life is VALUABLE too.

Be well. Hope this lonnng post is OK and even somewhat helpful.
Vickie
Becky57

Registered:
Posts: 657
 #10 
Vickie, You always help.  I am really afraid to talk to my vet again, but I know I must.  The thing bothering most now is her suffering. I know without a doubt that she suffered badly from Sat. afternoon to MOndy when she died.  I have no idea why I didn't take her in on Sat.  She ate but not real well on Sat. Am, then I actually left her that night for a family dinner where I was telling people I was going to switch vets, when I came hme she showed pale gums and spots on her stomach.

  I didn't take her in till noon the next day.  All the while the bleeding was going on inside her and I am thinking aspirin should be helping her.  I had taken her in on Friday and I guess it never occurred to me that she could have gotten critical so fast.  I wonder now why I ever thought I could care for a dog.  She actually sat up in bed on Sat. night--now I know that is pain.  I was an uneducated ignrant dog owner who never took the time to propertly educate myself.  I actually went on dog forum a couple of years ago to ask if my cats could transmit any disese to my dogs.  Did I even think about doing that this time?  No.  Nothing ever occurred to me in this whole tragic mess.  Even if I didn't know what the stools meant, I should have told my vet how much worse stiffness seemed to be -when she was at the vets she always looked so much better than she was at home or when we went for a walk she always looked better.  My vet is smart enugh that he would have caught the immune disease symptoms if I had written them down for hm and told him all of them instead of taking it upon myself to attribute them to the arthritis.

The reason I have to write this stuff down is I have to somehow accept the truth.  Not asking for any absolution or sympathy from family or vets--just trying to make sense of how someone who had always acted like a good pet owner in the past could be so blind.  In jan. I asked them for the xrays because she was getting stiffer.  Friday before she died I took her in for her brething problems then the critical stuff I ignroe.

Sorry to ramble on to you about this--not only did I disregard aspirin symptoms , I disregarded all of the immune symptoms. That is the one thing I wanted to ask the vet--with all the talk about how bad the liver was, I am thinking the immune disease attacked it. 

Thanks again, Vickie. You haave been such a help
tiellovetruelove

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #11 
Thank you--I had been focused on avian or exotic resources, but maybe this will help.  That was part of the problem, that our regular avian vet was out that day and the affiliated emergency hospital had no avian qualified vets anymore (so they didn't want to see him.) By the time we found someone who'd take a bird it was too late. But I  am willing to try  anything.
I hope you will feel better soon, Becky.  I am more or less in your place right now.

)  By the time we foundn't want to see him).  By the time we foun
Becky57

Registered:
Posts: 657
 #12 
tiellovetruelove
Because no liver tissue was taken by my vet, I will never know now what caused the liver damage. I don't know--themore I read the more i realize how hard it is for even the best to figure it out.  With my case, had the aspirin not been given, I believe she would have been ok.  Dr. Baer said as well as mine that the bloodwork for liver didn't show the damage she had so it is just like a neverending puzzle.

If you cn't find that American Vet. website, let me know and I will ltry to find it.  I have it somewhere.  They will definitely let a vet talk to you.
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: