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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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Posts: 1
It's been almost two years since I had to put my cat of 17 years down. After the first year, I thought maybe I was ready to get a cat again. I couldn't do it. I ended up giving them back. Another year rolled on, and I tried again. Same story.

Is this normal? I can't do it. I can't do the things I did for her for these other cats. They're perfectly good, healthy, friendly cats, but it's always off. They're too this, too that, not enough of this... I can't stop comparing how perfect my girl was to other pets and end up getting tired and frustrated and spend my days on the verge of a panic attack until I finally rip the bandaid off and give them back.

I grew up for 17 years believing I was a cat person, that there was no cat that I wouldn't want in my life but, now that she's gone, it's like that part of me went with her. Is it normal to be like this? Are some people's first pets their last?

Posts: 607
I’m so sorry your post was missed. Once we open our hearts to our “soul pet” it is not unusual to compare. Maybe you could do some fostering or volunteering at a shelter for short periods of time. That way you can still have a “kitty fix” but not the commitment until you are really ready. I hope you are ok.

Posts: 1,355
When my dog Jackie died I did not think I could ever love another dog.  I was volunteering at a dog sanctuary and I decided I would foster a dog.  I knew someone would come along and give him a home.  It took me nine months before I realized he was home.  Part of you did go with your girl when she died but she left the rest of you to love others.  

JoAnn - mom to many, many Bridge babies            
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