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Posts: 3
Hi everyone. I am new to this board. This is my 1st post, so bare with me.
My 10 y.o. Tonkinese, Jordan, is very sick. She's always dealt with asthma/allergy issues, but my husband & I have done everything in our power to keep her healthy. Special food, bottled water, 6 month checkups. We've done our best to keep her allergies & asthma under control.
I won't go into to all the details, but she became VERY sick, VERY suddenly last Tuesday. All of last week was going back & forth to the vets, racking up some big ol' vet bills. Following her around in shifts, cleaning up her throw up, begging her to eat. She is doing worlds better now (still not 100%, far from it), but she's keeping food and water down.
All of my friends have children & are of the general mindset that animals are "just pets". My husband & I don't feel this way. We are unable to have children & our cats truly, truly are our children.
My friends make fun of me or roll their eyes when I talk about our large vet bills or how the pain of her being so sick is killing me inside. I've tried to explain, but they don't seem to understand. If I could, I would take the pain for Jordan onto myself in a heartbeat.
Yet people keep saying "it's just a cat".  It's not JUST a cat to me. She's been my companion for 10 years. I've learned more from that cat than I have any humans I know!
Am I the only one with this experience? My husband & I feel really alone, scared, confused & we are so, so worried about her. Are we being too sensitive because of our emotional state?
I feel like their is a huge wieght pulling on my heart 24-7. Any advice or feedback would be much appreciated.
Thank you so much for your time.

Posts: 12
Have you asked your vet about the possibility of chronic renal failure?  I know that there are other issues that can make a cat lose its appetite, but if it is, I would highly recommend Tanya's crf support pages and message board.  They have lots of info and plenty of people who understand exactly why you would spend that kind of money in trying to prolong her life.

Its not just a cat.  It is your cat. And furthermore, the relationship between pet and pet owner is one of the simplest, most beautiful, and most powerful expressions of pure love and pure forgiveness.  That loss is or fear of that loss is nothing to sneer at.

All these things you already know because you have experienced them.  There are plenty of people here who understand why you love your cat so much.  As I read somewhere else, pity the people like my boyfriend's father who when he called to tell him about Adamina's passing, said, "Its just a cat, they're replaceable."  Pity them because they have never experienced that kind of love and the kind of pain that marks the passing of one who was loved so much.  Granted, it may take some time to be able to forgive them their lack of knowledge and insensitivity, but eventually...


Posts: 39
I'm so sorry Jordan is sick, and I hope that her condition improves!
As for people not understanding, I think that's why most of us are here on petloss. We feel like other people don't understand our pain, but people here really do, my dog was sick about two months ago, she had cancer and even just THINKING she had cancer and could possibly die brought me to the point of tears.
She actually died a few weeks ago because of pnemonia on the way to the vet and I just felt like I needed somewhere to go and that's how I found this place. Everyone here really does understand we all have pets that are sick or have passed on to the bridge. I personally don't think you are overreacting, I would have done anything to save my dog and I am still heartbroken over her.
Our pets are not 'just pets.' They're there for you when maybe no one else is, they love you no matter what you do and that's what makes them love them so earnestly in response. All they want is our love and care and I think most others in your position would do the same thing you're doing, taking care of them the best you can :)
Keep your chin up, I'll be praying for all of you!


Posts: 356
Dear Charity, 
I am so sorry your Jordan is ill and hope he will fully recover and be with you for many more years. My thoughts are with you and your husband and Jordan.
Please, don't let anyone tell you to 'get over it" or 'it's just a cat'. They simply do not understand. Not everyone is in the same boat as we are. Your feelings are true and you have all the right in the world to feel like that.



Posts: 150
Dear Charity,

First I wish to say, I sincerely hope Jordan recovers fully and quickly.

The notion that we humans occupy a special,  privileged place on this planet is ludicrous on its face, and the horrors we've inflicted on this lovely blue pearl and its other inhabitants is proof of the arrogance of that position. You do not need to justify anything to anyone. I would encourage you to be very selective with whom you share your fears about Jordan. Stick to people like us in this forum. You will find no limit to our empathy.

By the way, they aren't just cats, they're persons.

Your friend,
(Stanley's Daddy)


Posts: 282
Sorry about Jordan.  I hope she recovers soon and you can start enjoying your life with her again. I understand what you mean.  My friends and family think pets are simply replaceable.  When my dog passed in July my siblings didn't console me and my friends' sympathy lasted about 3 or 4 days.  Then you're just expected to "get over it".   Love is love.  No matter who or "what" you love your friends owe it to you to support and respect you.  I'm sure you listen to all of their woes about their children. You don't do that only because they're children,  you listen because they are "their"  children.  You're not asking them to listen about this or that cat,  this is "your" cat.   Roll your eyes the next time they talk about how expensive diapers or hockey tournaments are and see if you get away with it ;)  You'll be labelled as insensitive and cold for not giving your undivided attention to matters that are important to them.   It's not fair,  but none of this is.  It's all painful.  Bless you and your husband as you do your best for Jordan.

Posts: 893
You have each other and you have us.

People who say that pets are "just a ----" will never know the love of an animal and we should feel sorry for those people. They will never get it and don't expect them to.

I hope Jordan gets better. I am thinking of you guys.

Posts: 11,059
Sorry to hear that your sweet cat, Jordan, is not feeling well.  There are so many worries when your pet's health is in jeopardy.  People who have never bonded with a pet don't understand the intense connection one has with their fur baby.  They are missing out on something very special.

I hope Jordan feels better soon.  Please keep us updated on her condition.

precious Christoph ~ 2 years now ~


Posts: 596
I feel sorry for those people who don't understand the value, love and devotion a pet can bring. There is definately something missing in their lives. And for those refuse to show one ounce of compassion, simply because you're hurting, then to h#@* with 'em! Love me, love my many dogs.

I hope your Jordan is better. Many hugs to you and yours.

Posts: 1,523
I Pray for Jordan's full recovery. By his stripes we were Healed!!!!

You know what I did with the people that don't understand, that always seem to have a hurtful thing to say. I quit telling them anything. And when they ask... I give a very short answer. My Glory is recovering right now. We chose to let her stay in the Hospital while she recovers. (Glory is a terrible Patient here at home) I had someone say to me... Do you thin she even remembers you, she probably thinks that she lives there now. As hard as it is, I had to make the right decision for My Baby. Yes, we have spent A LOT of money. No body's business though. We work hard for our money and we pay our bills. Shouldn't we have the decision to where we want to put it! Glory was made by the Hand of Our Father. She's not a piece of plastic or a car that can be replaced. I was so Blessed by My Father to have this Beautiful Little Creature come in to my life and I will always do what is best for her. I know that some people just do not understand, but some people can be just down right mean. I pray that Jordan heals quickly and is her Old Self soon. I pray that God protects your Heart against the adversary. God Bless.

Love, Mayme ~ Sammy's Mommy

Posts: 8
I truly do hope that your baby Jordan recovers.  I lost my Evita last Wednesday and it is absolutely true that people who don't understand expect you to feel normal two days later and are so insensitive to the grieving process.  They simply stop asking or wonder why you are acting so "strange" when you aren't your usual self.  I wonder to myslef hmmm....maybe it's becasue I just lost my child of 14 years and I'm depressed and so very sad?!  It really almost makes me angry.

I take comfort in this website and knowing that everyone on here posting messages and sharing their stories feel just as I do about their companions.  Ignore those others who don't understand the bond between us and our companions.  They are the ones who are truly missing out on such a warm and comforting part of life.

My thoughts are with you and Jordan.


Posts: 3
Wow. To say I'm overwhelmed with all of your kind words & reassurances would be an understatement. This community is full of really amazing people who truly "get it". Understanding that for us, they aren't just pets, they are our children & best friends.
Darian, I have been in that position so many times, where I listen to friends talk at nauseum about their kids! However, when I mention something one of my cats did, it's simply dismissed.
You are all right about not talking about our cat health issues with just anyone. Already, a few people have been bold enough to just ask what we've spent on her recovery & then said, "Are you serious? I would've just had it put down."
1st of all, she's not an "it". She is a girl, not just any girl, but MY girl. Mayme, you are right! Yes, we've spent lots of money on her but it's OUR money. My husband & I both work full time to provide our cats with the best we can offer them.
Thank you all so much for the prayers & warm thoughts. Jordan is eating & drinking again & is even participating in "Chicken time" (everyday we dole out fresh cooked chicken breast to all our babies)! She still has a horrible case of the hives, however, the vet said to wait till Friday & if she's still broken out they will do a skin biopsy. We're not 100% what med caused this reaction. I'm very worried it's her new rescue inhaler. We will deal with things one day at a time, as a family we will get through it.
Thank you all again for your words of comfort. The support is like a medicine for me. Thank you a thousand times. 

Posts: 40
My heartful wishes for a recovery for Jordan go out to the universe.

I have always said I don't much trust people who don't love animals. People who roll their eyes or think "it's just a>>>>get on with it" don't get it as far as I am concerned.

This site is a wonderful place in that you can cry for a dog or a rat and no one will judge you, everyone will love and support you.

When you need to vent, come here, and the heck with those heartless people who can't understand what a huge place our furkids have in our hearts.

(HUGS) to you and Jordan, keep us posted!
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