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Posts: 103
It's been a very long month.
One month ago, today, at 3:59pm my heartcat - soulmate - sunshine left me. She was almost 7 years old.
Lilly passed very peacefully, in my arms at home.  She got to enjoy a couple of hours of lying in a beautiful sunbeam - her most favourite thing to do, before she left us.
She was so weak and sick.
She had lymphoma and intestinal cancer.  She lasted one month and one day after her diagnosis.
Her medicine kept her well and very comfortable.  We knew we were on borrowed time.  But it was
a great time.  I slept on the couch so I could spend every waking and sleeping minute with her.
She was my girl.  My love.  My sunshine.  We were inseparable.  She was by my side every waking minute.  Wherever I was, she was.
It was a good month, she ate well, played and enjoyed life, until the last couple of days.  There was no pain, but she stopped eating & drinking, and her pain meds did their work. 
Lymphoma is a quick cancer.  Too quick. 
It hurts to be here without her.  She was my everything.  She was my happiness and my sunshine. I'm not sure why, but we were so connected, it was unlike anything I've ever felt before.
When I wake up and remember she's not here to greet me with her smile, well, my heart breaks every morning.  The house is so empty and quiet.  She had a huge presence in our house.  She was our happy cat.  She truly was a happy girl.  I know in time the pain will ease, but for now I remain heartbroken.  My heart hurts.  Every day it hurts real bad.  I guess the deeper you love, the deeper you hurt.  This one took a piece of my heart - for sure.  I miss you my LillyBelle.  Forever


Posts: 34
I understand about being connected! My little arthritis kitty Peanut and I connected.As she aged and had difficulty walking,and potty issues,I became her full time caregiver.and she knew it. She looked to me for help. What a bond. Sure hurts not having her. Can’t stop old age though at times when she rallied I guess I thought ...hoped...she would get better.

I’ve not been able to clean her things in her room. 4 weeks,but Still too raw...the memory of her,which also,triggers the memory of Spanky,her sister,gone Oct las two of the 3 little rascals as I called them. .life will never be he same.
Thamk God I got new cat Bella.
Being a widow,home bound with no cat after so many years of having cats ..I just couldn’t cope.

I feel your pain buddy,Lilly’s mom. So sorry for your loss

Posts: 103
Thank you Sweetpea7.
It's so hard to lose them.  We grow to depend on them.  They are our everything.
So glad you got Bella.  It helps to have someone around.
I'm so sorry for your losses.  It hurts - I know that, and just how much too.
There are really no words to say that can help.
((Hugs))  Lilly's mom

Posts: 639
my cat pearl passed on due to intestinal cancer. she was on chemo for 6 months and i was 100% positive she would be "one of the one's" who would go into remission. although this occured in 2012 I am in my own way still shocked that she died. i had childlike thinking that the medicine would work and that since we had never had such bad luck, she would make it. the day she died was awful and the time she was on chemo even worse. i was so sure it was going to put her into remission i was willing to have her suffer while on the meds 'for her long term good".  life can be ugly.

Posts: 34
Thank you buddy. “they are our everything”.is so true.

Grievingmom,I’m so sorry.I know what you mean by thinking she would get better in time. I realize now that was my thinking,even though she was 20.6 yrs old.

Thankful for this board where others understand the depth of pain we go through when we have to say goodbye to our sweet fur babies.
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