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Mondo

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Posts: 994
 #1 
This is not Tuffy's Bridge Day .. but this is the day the journey to the bridge started .


Saturday morning one year ago, I called the Vet clinic in the morning.  Can we come in to make arrangements for Tuffy's trip to Rainbow Bridge?

It was the start of the worst year of my life.  

Thanks to everyone here for helping me through it.  I don't think I could have done it without you and this forum. Thank you EdW, from the bottom of my heart.

These were a couple of journal posts from that day, that I made to some friends at a private forum.

...

Post 1, Saturday afternoon

Tuffy's last days

On Thursday February 13th, Tuffy and Toby were booked in for a grooming. I got a phone call at 10:30am saying Tuffy had a seizure, he had bled out of his nose and mouth, urinated and defecated and had stopped breathing. His tongue was distended and blue. I took him to the Vet and received the bad news that he had a 6 inch (15 cm) tumour on is spleen. This is an 18 pound dog, about 20 inches long. He also had advanced liver disease. The vet said to take him home and enjoy him, and keep an eye out. He seemed "okay" but showed some signs of discomfort, not wanting to have his belly rubbed -- unheard of!

After a fitful night and waking up and lying in bed thinking on Saturday morning, I talked to my Wife and we decided to end Tuffy's suffering. Wednesday February 19th at 11am he will journey to Rainbow Bridge. This is among the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. It is doing right by Tuffy though, and this is for him.

...

Post 2, late Saturday night

Spoiled Tuffy

Went and bought Tuffy some ham today. He had a good appetite yesterday, but picky today. So I figured what the heck, get him some ham. He loved it. It is going to be his final meal too. He loves ham, never had much, but anytime we had some he would audibly beg. He couldn't help it, he is a noisy, chirpy, talky little dog, with a huge vocabulary.

It's strange, I keep measuring his food (well, I do but then feed him more anyway if/when he hungers), give him anti-arthritis supplements every afternoon, brush his teeth every evening. Routine. Seems to be what keeps us going sometimes.


...

His final meal ended up being bacon, not ham.  As much as he could eat, which wasn't very much.  My sick little Tuffster.  My 4 legged soul mate, my heart dog.  And now, one of my angels!  Soon Tuffy, we will be together again.  Me and Tuffy and Toby.  "The Boys".  :-)

It seems like only yesterday.  And needless to say, here come the tears.

Wishing all here comfort and peace in this journey that will end one day, at Rainbow Bridge.

Hugs,
Tuffy and Toby's Dad.

xo


InMemoryOfRascal

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Posts: 2,440
 #2 
I wanted to wish a happy 1st year Bridgeday to your Tuffy.  I am sure that for his celebration your boy is feasting on all of the bacon & ham he can eat - surrounded by friends.  Today your Tuffy, like you, will be thinking about and honoring the many many memories of love shared.  Love is forever, it does not end.

Take care
InMemoryOfRascal
pogosmom

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Posts: 228
 #3 
Mondo,

I am so sad to hear of you having a hard time and remembering "the boys" when you went ahead and took the time to wish Pogo a happy birthday at the Bridge today.  We are certainly here for you as you work through the pain and tears.  One day it may come easier for you when you think of the funny moments and the smiles the rascals put on your face.  The pain lessens, the memories stay, and the smiles and pleasant stories emerge.  They certainly had a thoughtful and sensitive dad in you, and they will comfort and protect each other until you are there with them once more.  

May your pain ease and know through "the boys" that you have reached out to help someone else in need, and that was me!.

Take care my friend,

Pogo's mom 
Mondo

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Posts: 994
 #4 
In Memory of Rascal:  Tuffy's Bridge day is February 19th.  Today is the 1st anniversary (not date, but Saturday of last year at this time), that I started saying good bye.  We had 4 more days and nights together, I smiled and cried all at the same time.  It was just the beginning of pain.  Worth every bit!

Pogo's Mom:  I have no problem remembering the boys, I am just afraid that their memories will dim.  Your beautiful letter after a number of years, gave me hope that I will always remember my boys.  If today is any indication, there is nothing to worry about.  I remember last year at this time with Tuffy, as if it was yesterday.  And I like to think in Rainbow Bridge time, it was yesterday.

Thank you both for the comforting words.   I am sure that Tuffy and Toby think of me as often as I do them -- most every minute of every waking moment.  They are never far from my thoughts, and live forever in my heart.

This is indeed a family here. 


Wishing comfort and peace to all in our journeys down here, on our way to Rainbow Bridge, where our beloved fur kids are waiting to rejoin us. 


Tuffy and Toby's Dad

jrinphx

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Posts: 1,355
 #5 
Oh Mondo,

I can hardly believe that it has been almost a year since your sweet little boy Tuffy flew off to the Bridge.  These are my favorite lines from a song by The Calling.  The song is Wherever You Will Go.

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time.

This gives me some comfort when I am feeling lost without my babies.  Maybe it will comfort you too.

JoAnn - Jackie, Chan, Daphne, Scarlett, Noir and Stan's mom        
maxsMandD

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Posts: 1,270
 #6 
Happy 1 yr. bridge day Tuffy. Hope you had all your favorites today.

(maxsMandD )

max's mom
LoveHimForever

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Posts: 222
 #7 
Tuffy was so loved by you, Mondo.  What a great life you gave him.  Although I don't believe in fate as much as I used to when younger, I do believe certain sweeties like your Tuffy and my Simon were absolutely meant for us, and us for them.

It's like hitting the jackpot many times over, a bulls eye, a perfect love.

And as you always say, they are worth the pain we have now.

Linda
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,835
 #8 
Mondo,
My heart goes out to you as you remember the days leading up to the loss of your precious Tuffy and the start of the awful nightmare journey of grief.  I feel so much for you... I am already thinking ahead to Fed 22nd and the 2 weeks following... it seems impossible to think of much else... and I fear I will re-live those 2 weeks for the rest of my life. I wonder if it will always feel as you said "like only yesterday"....

Sending you hugs and strength and wishing you peace....I'll be thinking about you and your sweet little boy... I'm sure that the plans are already in the works for the most fabulous party in honor of your special angel...

Lee Lee's Mama
Mondo

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Posts: 994
 #9 

Good morning my boys, 

 
  This seems like the right place to post.   Hopefully some "newer" members of the forum will see this and get some hope .. that it takes time.  That a year later most of us are still grieving.  That first year!  All the firsts.  It's the tuffest.

  Tuffy and Toby.  You've been so near lately.  4.5 and 3.5 years after you both left.  Dreamt about you boys being out in the yard, and I was worried .. are people out, are you going to get all reactive.  But you both were fine, you're not the girls, as much as I love them too .. they are a lot higher maintenance.   You both looked so beautiful.  Tuffy your coat was glistening.  You are the only dog I have ever know that smelled awesome after getting wet.  Toby, you had that little wiggle with  your tail up.  It was just a happy feeling and I woke up feeling happy.  Dreamt of you both a few times lately .. thanks for the visits.

  Love you boys so much. Some day we will all be together.  

  Love never dies.  It really doesn't.  And the memories?   They have dimmed a little but continue.  I wrote down some lists for both of you boys.  I read them over sometimes, and of course smile through the tears.  Watch some clips and look at your pics.  I recall Special things you did, things that made me laugh.  Different events that had me smiling when I got home from our walks, or that I just had to recount to your Mom and others.  

Time passes, love remains.  

Until we meet again,
Dad

xo

Fensmom

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Posts: 24
 #10 
Your memories are amazing. What a good dad. Bless you. God be with you.
Mondo

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Posts: 994
 #11 
Last night Tuffy came to visit me in a dream.  He used to do this often after he passed, I think to comfort me.

Last night felt more like he needed comforting.  Maybe he thinks I am forgetting him, or that Ellie is taking his place.  Never!  Ellie is a love and we share something very special.  But Tuffy is still my First Heart Dog.  My Heart Boy.  He left a part of himself with me .. and a part of me went with him.

In my dreams I know he is departed. Last night in my dream I went to the door and Tuffy was there.  I told my wife "Tuffy came to visit."  I sat down in the living room with my wife.  Time passed and I asked "Where did Tuffy go?"  So I went to look for him, he had gone to the back room and laid on a dog bed.  We "talked" a bit (dream communication, can't quite figure it out, kind of telepathic).  I recall holding him close (he weighed 17 pounds) and just saying "I love you soo much!"  

I feel so blessed by these dream visits, and wish them for all that want them.  They are never sad.  Always happy and I always wake up happy.  


Hugs,
Tuffy, Toby, Ellie and Missy's Dad
Fensmom

Registered:
Posts: 24
 #12 
So happy you visited with Tuffy. :)). I’ll pray for more.
Fen is at a Rescue still. Delayed and they aren’t communicating with me. I’ve been kind. Idk y. I guess what I’m getting to is I wonder if Fen can somehow still sense my feelings. I visualize him often. Our connection was what some ppl would say that I’m crazy to think my dog can sense or know I’m thinking of him.
I miss him. So happy for you though. God bless you!
Fens mom
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