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Posts: 16
It dawned on me today the I won’t be able to visit Pumpkin’s grave on the anniversary of his death because covid is making me be in isolation for the two weeks leading up to my wedding. I’m devastated and worried that he’s going to be waiting there for me, feeling like I’ve abandoned him. If he has to relive the memory of his passing I want to be there for him, like I was on the actual day. I truly want to break my isolation for this visit, but I worry about having to cancel the wedding ceremony in the event that I get sick. We want to be married on our anniversary. All anniversaries are extremely close to my heart though, especially the first. I can’t believe this. I’m heartbroken.

Posts: 1,191
First, let me say I am so very sorry about your situation. I know how important the anniversaries are, especially the firsts - we really want to honor our pet's lives with something special, not just for us but for them as well...

Have you thought about maybe doing some kind of memorial ceremony where you are instead of visiting his grave? I've done a balloon release a number of times on special anniversaries for my pets. I basically go to a store that sells balloons, have them fill up the balloons with helium and then bring them home. I then write a special note to my pet and attach it to one of the balloons and then release them into the sky. I stay still as I watch them fly up into the sky, remembering the life we shared, and I stay there until I can no longer see the balloons.

The first time I did that I was in tears. For me, it is a way to be quiet and still and find a way to honor my pets that have since flown on to heaven. I imagine the balloons flying up to heaven and my kitties swatting at the balloons as they go by. I try to purchase balloons that were the color of their collars and once in awhile I find a store that sells a balloon that is in the shape of a cat. I usually do this on the anniversary of their passing, weather permitting.

I don't know if this will help you at all, butI hope you are able to find a way to resolve this that brings you some comfort and peace. 

Hugs to you and congratulations on your pending wedding!

- Kelly
Mom to Angel cats Blackie, Squeeker, Thomas and now Rufus


Posts: 394
Dear KOkristan,
My heart breaks for you. I just want to cry thinking about what you are going through. Anniversaries--especially the first ones--can be so terribly painful : ( I still dread them and cry bitterly on them even after many years because being physically separated from my beloved babies is so painful even though it is only temporary in the grand scheme of things.
Please don't think that your baby is going to be there at his grave waiting for you and thinking that you abandoned him. The only thing in his grave is his earthly cocoon which is not him. And as for his reliving the moment of his passing his memory of it is quite different from yours.
The very instant he passed out of this life he found himself in the loving arms of Jesus. He was young and healthy again and is running and playing and leaping with joy in the gorgeous green fields of Heaven. 
Here is a post I wrote that will help give you some perspective. It is the true story of our beloved Brutus who was seen in Heaven. If the link does not take you to my opening post just scroll up the page to the top--. GOD CARES DEEPLY ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOUR PET - Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Also the Bible teaches that ALL animals--unlike all people--go to Heaven so you have God's Word that that is where your beloved baby is. If you are not sure that the Bible is true here is an excellent link that will remove any doubt- 
I hope that you can now feel a little better even though the anniversary will still be painful.  Once again I am so very sorry about what you are going through and you will be in my prayers.
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