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Posts: 6
Hello Everyone,

My husband and I had to put our 14-year-old calico cat, Rummy to sleep this past Sunday.  She had been battling chronic kidney failure since last year.  Saturday evening she had stopped eating.  Her favorite part of the day was when she got wet food for dinner.  She made no effort or would even lift her head when dinner time came.  She began going off by herself into darkened areas curling up into a ball. 
We knew something was wrong but in my mind she has had spells before after nursing her she would bounce back.  We noticed she would still drink water and had hope that she would improve.  However, even in the past when she had fallen ill she still wanted to eat.  She also stopped cuddling on the couch with us.  She then very early Sunday morning began throwing up any water she would drink.  We noticed she was still in the same spot curling up by herself away from us and our other kitty, Vastra.  She stopped being responsive to us when we would attempt to soothe her, pet or talk to her.  She just stared off into the distance as if she did not even know we were there.  I tried to pick her up to hold her and she let out a cry so I gently laid her back down.  M husband had to work Sunday and I have a foot injury.  I was able to have family help me take her to the emergency vet around 8:45a.m. 
Her pupils were beyond dilated, her pulse was 180, her blood pressure was through the roof, and the vet explained that this is a sign of her systems starting to shut down.  She weighed less than 6LBs. her temperature was falling.  He asked me what my goal of treatment was.  I told him that we did not want her to suffer.  He explained that we could put her on blood pressure medicine but unfortunately it would only be a band aide until her next crisis.  He advised me that her kidneys may have just failed.  It was agonizing to sit there looking at my beautiful baby feeling as if she was already leaving me.  The vet said to me, "I can tell you have taken very good care of her and given her a good life".  I lost it.  I hated to make the call but we promised we would not let her suffer.  I held her during the sedation and the procedure.  I told her that "Mommy Loves you" in her ear right before he sedated her.  My parents sat on either side of me.  I had to text my husband that she was gone.  I cannot stop reliving the this moment wondering if I made the right call.
Rummy was my lap cat, my little shadow, my cuddle bug.  Everything I did she was with me and everywhere I would go she was there.  I cannot sleep very well, I keep expecting her to jump on the couch or bed with me or walk into bedroom. Ihought I saw her in the bedroom yesterday.  I cannot stop breaking into sobs.  I feel numb right now.  I am also heart broken watching Vastra look for her, I think today is the first day she noticed her big sister is gone.  She sat in the middle of the living room meowing very loudly, which she never does.  We have been playing with her, giving extra special attention, and lots of love.  I know it has only been three days but I would give anything to hold Rummy.  I would tell her how sorry we are that we could not save her.  I horrible guilt that I had to make that call.  It is very empty here, I feel like I am letting Vastra down because I am trying to deal with my grief and show her it will be ok.  I miss Rummy so much and I pray that she is not mad at me.  
 Has anyone any suggestions on how to help the other fur baby cope with loss as well?  Vastra and Rummy were close from the start.  They were always together or in close proximity. 

Any help would be appreciated.



Posts: 104
I am very sorry for your loss. Know that Rummy is not mad at you at all. She was loved and she knows that. Hoping you find peace.

Paula - Raider’s mom

Posts: 6

Thank you very much for the comforting words. 

Posts: 6
Day Four:  I know in my mind that she is gone.  I know that I will never be able to hear her little chirps or mews again or feel her nuzzles on my cheek but I still look for her.  I still think she is going to come around the corner and there.  I go from feeling empty to numb to sobbing then to feeling that hard ball in the center of my chest.  Rummy's older sister Morgan passed away from Diabetes in 2014.  I find comfort in knowing that they are together playing, napping, lazing about, and playing with my friends dog, Milo (Who past away in April).  I miss them dearly!  This week has been horrible because 4-years-ago on 7/24/14 (This past Tuesday) is when Morgan died.  Rummy past this past Sunday 7/22/18.   I am really relieved that I found this website.

Posts: 11
So sorry for your lost of Rummy💜

Posts: 121

I am so sorry to hear about your sweet girl Rummy.  I understand how you are feeling, and so many here do.....    It sounds sounds like she was a very special girl and understand that she loved you unconditionally.  

Today is my sweet girl Emma's 1 week bridge day.  She was with me for 13 years.  She passed away last Thursday....  I've been grief stricken ever since.  My daily routine is so much different now and any little memory I come across brings me to tears.  They are such a big part of our's so hard without them.  I know in time I'll get better, but for now, I'm terribly sad over her.  I miss her little meows, her purring, sleeping with me and finding her toys in the food bowl......  :-(.. 

Our fur babies are our family and we love them so very much that it's hard to let go.  It will take time, and believe me, take as much time as you need to grieve.  We all do it differently, and in our own time and in our own ways.  I've had 2 of my other kitties pass over the last several years, and that's how I originally found this place.  I'm really not sure how I would have managed without all of the support I've received here from people that are a lot like me.  We have very special bonds with our fur babies. 

Take care of yourself and there is always someone here to talk anytime you need to.

Emma, Toby & Socks momma =^..^= 

Posts: 6

I am sorry for the loss of your baby.  Even though we have a younger cat I still find myself feeling our home is empty.  It is the one week anniversary today.  

Thank you for your words of compassion and support. Hugs.

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