Registered: 1213059041 Posts: 7
On 06/09/08 I lost my furry, Hickory, to bone cancer. He was a nine year old Golden, full of love and joy. He has taught me a lot. But his death has hit the family hard. No longer can we hear the clicking of his claws on the floors, or run with the long routine of taking him out for long walks. His toys, dishes, blankets are all put away. The house is lonely now, as is my heart.
The bone cancer first attacked his joint in his back leg, so badly that he couldn't walk on it. And then we noticed how hard it was for him to breathe after a month since finding out. Eventually we thought it best to let him go. It was hard for him to walk. He had lost a lot of weight, especially on his ribs and bad leg. He struggled to go potty, sometimes standing on his wrong leg and falling down. His appetite had changed, as well, and he just couldn't be a normal dog. We had just bought a new house and moved in too, and we had got it mainly because of the huge yard it had. Hickory never had a big yard to play in. But he got the bone cancer before we got to move into the house, and couldn't run around like we wanted him to. I miss him terribly, and I hope he's having fun up there with the other animals. I pray that we will be reunited in the end. I also made a video of him. I tried showing it to my dad, but he got all teary-eyed and told me to stop it and show him in a month or so. I remember him saying to the vet after we let him sleep, he was crying, "And I'm supposed to be the cold heartless b******. The retired military man. But that's my dog... My sweet dog." Here is the video, I would appreciate any support. Thank you all, and God bless. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axnY19wa2Og
Registered: 1206127672 Posts: 331
What a magnificant tribute to a magnificant dog. Thank you for sharing.Toni
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
I am typing through my tears. I am so very, very sorry that you and your family had to say farewell to your beautiful Hickory. I can see how dearly he was loved (and is STILL loved) and how horribly he will be missed. My heart just aches for you. Your photo tribute to him was so beautifully arranged. If there were some magic words I could say to take your pain away, I would say them in a heartbeat. I know the terrible pain of loss. I had to have my beloved little 16 year old terrier, Betsy, put to sleep five months ago tomorrow. It was the worst day of my life. There is just no pain like this. These beautiful creatures love us so perfectly and unconditionally. When they leave us, it feels as if our hearts are being ripped from our chests. I have lit an internet candle for Hickory under your initials TK. To view it, go to Aurichwolf's "Light a Candle Here" thread on this grief board and click on the little Light a Candle icon in her post (on page one). It will burn for 48 hours. May wonderful memories of your beautiful Hickory sustain you as you mourn your sweet boy.
Please know you and your family can come here anytime for support and we will be here for you. We all have walked in your shoes and know the depth of your sorrow.
Big hugs from Texas, Melissa Betsy's forever mom
Registered: 1196453169 Posts: 1,415
Dear Tk-- What a beautiful tribute video to a beautiful golden. You were blessed with such a dear furchild and he was blessed with you. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope that Hickory's journey to the Rainbow Bridge was a gentle and peaceful one.
I wish that I could get started on my tribute for my little Teddy(it's been over 7 months), but I'm still finding it very hard to go through pictures and memories without tears falling. All my thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time-- Teddy's Mom
Registered: 1212103337 Posts: 26
I am so sorry for your loss of Hickory. I did view the video. He had such a sweet face and beautiful eyes. Such a beautiful soul. Golden's are one of my favorite dogs. I know you miss him terribly and wish he could have run around in the bigger yard at your new house, but I can assure you he is running now, free and whole again, in a yard with no fence or boundaries at Rainbow Bridge. He has lots of furangels to run and play with until he is re-united with you again. I am glad you came here and shared Hickory's story. It will take time for you to work through this, so be patient and know that there is support here whenever you need it. Take care and God Bless Kathy
Registered: 1201648552 Posts: 846
Tk- I'm so very sorry for your loss. Hickory is such a sweet, special soul. I understand your pain so well, I lost my yellow lab Luna to cancer at the young age of 4. Her death haunts me to this day, and it's been over a year since she passed over to the bridge. I hope you know in your heart that Hickory is young and well and running all over like crazy at the bridge. He knows your heart, he loves you and is with you always. It's truly amazing how these creatures come into our lives and we are never ever the same. Luna took a part of me with her when she died, but I do find peace in knowing I will be united with her again some day. Don't forget you WILL see your lovely Hickory again. You are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. May God hold you in his arms and grant you peace. Many hugs to you.
Gerlie (Gypsy and Luna's forever mom)
Registered: 1196441749 Posts: 567
I am so, so sorry for your loss of Hickory. I wish I had wise words to say. I cried when I read your post and cried more when I tried to watch the video. Man, I understand why your dad didn't want to watch it, the music tears at your heart. I know you are all going through a very difficult time, it is so hard. It's hard to let them go, but when they are in pain and can't be normal anymore, we have to think of them. I had to do the same for my Nina. It was a very difficult decision. You and your family will be in my prayers. I pray that the sadness and grief will soon be replaced with the good memories. I truly believe that our furbabies are at the Rainbow Bridge, waiting on us. My Nina is there, she probably met Hickory, she had a "best friend" at the groomers that was a Golden. I believe Hickory is waiting for you and you all will meet again. Thanks for sharing the video. I'll try to watch it again later on. My Nina went to the Bridge 7 months ago on the 8th and it's been hard for me for some reason. Guess it never gets easy. Come here as often as you need to. Hugs and Prayers, Nina Maria's Mom
Registered: 1211860763 Posts: 139
I am at a loss for words, your tribute to that wonderful golden is wonderful. The tears are just running down my face, you see I also had to let my golden go on May 25, 2008 and through my grief I forgot how much fun we all had in the snow, throwing snowballs and she would look through all the snow for hours to try and find it. Your Hickory is now with my Comet playing together in the snow (because that's what they like). Those golden dogs are so terrific, they show us so much love and in return we loose our hearts to them. In time your dad will be able to look at that beautiful tribute and I'm sure he'll thank you for it. Everyone needs to grieve in their own way and this is a good place to come because we've all been there. I truly hope that you and your family find some comfort in the future but it's only been a few short days and your love is so deep that it will take some time. Try to remember all the wonderful things that Hickory gave your family over the years and grieve the way you have to. I will keep your whole family in my prayers because I know the pain of loosing your golden baby oh too well. And remember you will be reunited with him in God's time. All my love to your broken hearted family. Margaret
Registered: 1185654619 Posts: 20
Dear TK, what a beautiful tribute..if I could only stop crying. Hickory was very lucky to have you and your dad. What a beautiful dog. From my experience it takes time to consider yourself lucky to have been so blessed to have them. When they have to go it hurts, I don't think we are ever ready, no matter how old or ill they are there is no way to prepare for this. Just hang on and give yourself time. The only time I saw my dad cry was last year when we lost our Shih Tzu Tiffany, it broke my heart. I knew how much he adored her.
She was spoiled rotten and I wouldn't have it any other way. My thoughts are with your and your dad. Trisha
Registered: 1213059041 Posts: 7
Thank you for viewing it
Toni. I'm glad you liked the tribute. *Hugs* Melissa, I am sorry that the video made you cry. He was a very dear part of our family. And his death kinda tore it all apart. My family (And I am partially part of the problem) has all just drifted away. My brother and father don't even stick around each other long enough to fight like they normally do, which is probably a good thing, but there is no contact between them whatsoever. Dinner was very awkward tonight, no one talked and it was depressing not having Hickory underneath the table, waiting for someone to drop a piece of food. Thank you again, Woo, and for the candle. Bless your heart, and I will remember Betsy tomorrow and find some candles around to house to light for her and my Hickory. They'll glow together. *Hugs* Helen, my heart goes out to you for your wonderful words. Hickory would appreciate the help all of you are giving me to help me through this devastating time. If ever you get that tribute to your dear Teddy done, and it's available for online viewing, please let me know. I'd love to see your baby. Thank you, and I hope Hickory has found your Teddy to play with. *Hugs* Beautiful thoughts, Kathy. *Hugs* Brings tears to my eyes. Golden's are wonderful. Cuddly and friendly to everyone. Hickory was so friendly, we could never count on him to be a guard dog. He'd just greet the burglar as they came right in. But we still love him. Thank you so much! I also thank you, Gerlie. I, and just about everyone here agrees I bet. These animals are worth so much to us, and having them leave our sides is just as traumatizing as a human family member. I am very sorry for your loss to your babies. I pray for them and for you. Bless you for your warming words. It means so much. *Hugs* NinaMaria'sMom, your words also bring tears to my eyes. But I believe they are good ones. I know I thank everyone here a lot, but they are all sincerely grateful thank yous. All of your words help me get through this seemingly perpetual grief. My words, my thanks, they don't seem enough, but I hope you, and everyone else, know just as much. My silly bird dog will enjoy playing with your Nina girl. In fact, he loves everyone, so I don't think it'll be a problem. *Hugs* Thank you and God bless! Margaret, thank you as well. You having been moved by the tribute shows just how much you care. Goldens are amazing, agreed. Hickory would spend forever looking for those snowballs as well, it was very cute. I also remember when we first took him to the beach. He jumped right into the water and went to take a drink. But as he did, and this was absolutely adorable as well as hilarious, he stopped and looked at the water. He seemed very confused as to why the water tasted so funny. Bless his heart, and yours and your Comet baby. I do hope the two, and others who were mentioned earlier, see each other and have a blast. *Hugs* Thank you!
Registered: 1212770216 Posts: 34
So sorry for your loss of Hickory. He was a handsome fella.
We lost our cat Ernie June 1, 2008 to unexpected and sudden congestive heart failure, so I know how much it hurts. That was a beautiful tribute to Hickory. It made me cry too. My heart goes out to you and your family. Our Ernie, age 15
Registered: 1205885888 Posts: 35
TK, i just watched your tribute video and i cried the whole time I watched it. Hickory is a beautuful dog and I can see how much you and your family loved him just by looking at the pictures. I know you miss him, but take some comfort in knowing he is no longer suffering. I too, just lost my dog Kaldi to cancer. It will be 3 months tomorrow.I still can't believe he's gone. He was only 5 yrs old. It is so hard to lose a pet. They become such a big part of our lives it tears us apart when we have to say goodbye. But, it will get better with time. I know it doesn't seem that way, but time does heal all wounds. Just try to focus on the good times. Hickory does not want you to be sad.God bless you and you're family during this very difficult time.
Registered: Member deleted Posts: N/A
TK, I also am at a loss for words because of tears. Hicory is so beautigful!!! What a wonderful video!! He looks so much like my 6 year old golden Buddy. I can see how much you love him. I'm so so so sorry for your loss. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers. ALWAYS remember the happy times with Hicory & time does heal I promise. I share your hurt as we lost our Lucy (basset) in Jan. of this year to old age. (15) Take care of yourself TK. Lois (AbbyNLucysmom)
Registered: 1182807878 Posts: 536
I too watched the video of your beloved Hickory. I'm so very sorry for your loss of Hickory:(. Watching the video brought tears to my eyes. I just love animals so very much too. It is so very hard when they leave us especially to CANCER. I lost my cat Nikki to lymphoma cancer and kidney failure on June 26th,2007, and i'm dreading the 1 yr. bridge anny. I still have tears for her because i miss her so very much. When NIKKI died a part of me died with her, and I have not felt the same since she has been gone:(. My toughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time that you are going through. I'm thinking of you too. Here is a poem that was given to me when I went to a petloss support group at the Humane Society. MISS ME, BUT LET ME GO When I come to the end of the road And the sun has set for me, I want no rites in a gloom-filled room, Why cry for a soul set free?? Miss me a little-but not too long, And not with your head bowed low. Remember the love that we once shared, Miss me, but let me go. For this is a journey we all must take And each must go alone. It's all a part of the Master's plan, A step on the road to home. When you are lonely and sick of heart Go to the friends we know And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds. Miss me, but let me go..... -Author Unknown Take care, ((((hugs&prayers))))) Terri(UWHusky-Nikki'sMom) My sweet NIKKI..... She passed to the Rainbow Bridge at the age of 16yrs+4mos. I MISS YOU BABY GIRL......
Registered: 1212700706 Posts: 55
What a wonderful tribute to Hickory! Hickory is beautiful and has such an expressive face and eyes. It is obvious how loved he is. I am so saddened for you and for all of us that we have to let go of our wonderful pets. It is so so so hard - probably one of the worst (if not THE worst), most wrenching event in our lives. As hard as it is to bear, we must. You did everything you could and in the end, you made the final decision with absolute and total love for him. Is that your picture toward the end? Been thinking about you and praying for you. We WILL make it through. Hickory is watching over you and is there for you. He wants you to go on and be happy. Sheila
Registered: 1157268075 Posts: 909
What a beautiful tribute for a beautiful dog. I know that it was made with love. I am so sorry for your loss of Hickory. I know how much you hurt. We send them to the Rainbow Bridge so that they will be free from pain-but then our pain begins. We Who Love So Deeply We who love so deeply Are called upon from above To do what is unthinkable For the babies that we love We do not want to part Fight against it till the end Do everything that we can To help our special friend The time comes when we know Can no longer question why We must end their suffering Let go so they may fly We hold them with urgency Trying to take their essence in Realizing this is the last time Then heartbreak will begin Tears run down our face Sadness fills our heart Our soul cries out in anguish Why did we have to part? After they have gone To the rainbow in the sky Grief and pain engulf us Why did they have to die? We fought so hard to save them Struggled against the tide Now our grief is overwhelming For they’ve crossed to the other side Then we hear a whisper Telling us not to fear “I will always love you And I will ever be near.” Look up to the night sky And find the brightest star When they are not with you This is where they are. © Carol Ross aka CareWolf January, 2008 We do what we can to help the babies that we love. It breaks our hearts but It is the final gift we can give. Love and Blessings, CareWolf aka Carol
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Your video of Hickory is beautiful and of course I cannot see through my tears. I understand why your dad cannot watch the video; it is just too soon. These precious souls bring so much Joy and Love into our lives and they ask for nothing but our Love in return. I am so sorry for your loss of Hickory. I lost my Precious Angel Christopher over 14 months ago and I am still in tears every day. I know that my life will never be the same without him. I am sure that all of our Angels are taking good care of Hickory at the Bridge. I know that our Precious Angels will be waiting for us when we arrive. You and your family are in my Prayers. Big Hugs Georgeann and Christopher Forever
Registered: 1157268148 Posts: 555
Dearest Tk, I watched your video of Hickory with tears and sobs of sadness for your family for I know first hand just what a treasure you gave up in order to free him from his pain here on earth. I do not cry for Hickory for I know he is healthy and happy like a pup again at Rainbow Bridge. He now runs and plays with many other goldens as well as all of the fur babies of other kinds but he has a special friend there. One who most likely met him at the gate and welcomed him in. My Aurich is a golden retriever also and was my guide dog for 11 years and 9 months. He was 13 years and 5 months old when I had to make the decision to let him run ahead to free him from his pain also. He had been diagnosed with degenerative myelopathy in January of 2004 and by December he could no longer stand on his own because his back legs were so bad and he had stopped eating and drinking. He told me in every way that he could not fight any longer. He had given me freedom and Independence that I had never known before I got him and dignity as we walked side by side all those years so I could do no less then to let him run ahead with dignity. Our boys will be our golden angels till we see them again when it's our time to join them. I will post the link to a few of the pages I have made for Aurich on his web site to share with you. http://www.katiesplace72.50megs.com/goldenones.html http://www.katiesplace72.50megs.com/goldenboy.html http://katiesplace72.50megs.com/guidepupper.html
This is my Aurich GOLDEN PAW PRINTS Golden paw prints softly left upon my broken heart. Gently placed with golden love when we had to part. Knowing you would not be here to comfort and sustain. You left with me the memories that always will remain. Memories of golden times we had throughout the years. Bring a smile when I recall through a veil of golden tears. These golden times will comfort me when your sweet face I miss. Each time i feel the gentle rain It will be your golden kiss. Your loving heart of purest gold will keep me safe I know. As you guide me now along life's path from above the rainbow's glow. Then one day we will meet again never more to part. Till then I know I will remain inside your golden heart. ©~ AurichWolf aka Katie~2008~ May your heart find healing peace in the love you shared with your golden boy Hickory. His example of courage and strength was a gift he left behind to guide you through your life May the lessons of love and life that he taught you and your family draw you together and keep you strong Love and Peace AurichWolf Kathy
Registered: 1198872932 Posts: 1,205
I am so glad that you have now posted on this board. The photos on the memorial board brought a tear to my eye, but the video made me really cry. Hickory is such a beautiful dog, he has such a sweet and gentle face. I am so sorry for your loss, condolences to you all. Please give your Dad a hug from me. Much love Di xxx
Registered: 1200561771 Posts: 251
wow, you have blown me away! Your baby boy is so absolutely beautiful. I can feel your love for your Hickory. He will be sorely missed by you and your family. Thankyou so much for sharing. I am sending you a big cuddle in this difficult time. I don't have wise words, I lost my baby 5 and a half months ago and I am a mess, but we are all in the same boat here, you have come to the right place. Many cuddles, Nuggetsmum Alana