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plamenasp

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Posts: 2
 #1 
I just found this support page and it somehow helps right away knowing that people here understand what you are going through.
We lost our precious cat Tommy last night and I have been devasted and not able to stop crying. He was just 6 years old and they found out yesterday that he has a stuck object in his intestines and suggested to make a surgery and try to take it out. The surgery went well but he couldn’t make it later on since some complications occured. Then the vet called me to ask me for permission to let him go. I am devastated because we couldn’t be with him when he took his last breath. I cannot even express the pain in my heart and I have no clue how to cope with such grief. I am extremely sad, angry, devastated and so on all at the same time. We have been with the vet for months and I am angry that they didn’t found this sooner, they were just giving him antibiotics and treatments because he had infections and they didn’t even know why. I cannot stop thinking about doing things differently, asking another vet or something else. They said this object has been stuck there probably for a long time until it caused so much damage.
I don’t know how to cope, I can’t stop crying and my mind is going crazy with what I could have done differently... we loved him so so very much and the pain is so much :(
Thank you for reading this,
Plamena
jeffspitaleri

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #2 
Plamena, I am new here too. My pup was 11 and she left us on Wednesday. It's so heartbreaking, and I had to make the decision over the phone as well.

I pray that you can find comfort in the good times with Tommy and find some peace knowing that you loved him.
Candice

Registered:
Posts: 28
 #3 
Hi Plamena, I'm so sorry you lost your dear Tommy. I just lost my Tiger last week and was blown away by the intense pain I felt?, especially the next day when the shark had worn off a bit. One of the things I did and I noticed that a lot of people writing their stories on these pages did was go over and over what I could have done differently what others could have done differently it's fruitless and it's cruel it was torture. I was torturing myself. I still go to it here and there but much less than I had it's only been a week. It seems like that's I really natural part of the grieving process because we feel like we're in so much responsibility for everything that happens to them. It's hard to accept that some things are out of our control. When it first happened I just let myself cry and wail I talked to a lot of people about it I had friends that I texted with about it I didn't hold it in. I still imagine my tiger walking down the hall towards me. The more I talked about it and let it out and went through the process of grieving which I'm still going through, the less intense the pain was it still hurts and it comes in waves when I start thinking of things. I loved him so much I wish I could have stopped anything from going wrong. I did everything to try to find some way of blaming myself. But things happen accidents happen age and sickness happen and it's not in my control. Now that I've accepted that I just have to feel the loss
plamenasp

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #4 
Thank you Candice for the words and that you shared how you are feeling! In way it helps me, knowing that I am not alone in this.
I don’t think I have experienced such grief and find this so so difficult but as I see how many people are sharing their stories here - this is just normal and shows how much and strongly we cared for them and loved them.
We had to bury Tommy today, we put him in our garden so he can always be close to us, and I have never felt such intense pain. Hardest thing I ever had to do... can’t stop thinking about him, it pains me so much. It’s so empty not seeing him in the house and I expect him to come from somewhere each second... it is unbelievable what a big part of our hearts those precious souls take and it is the most difficult experience to let them go.
cmartin04

Registered:
Posts: 73
 #5 
So sorry for all of your pain. My anna was my constant companion. I loved her sooo much and she loved me. It seems impossible that she is no longer here. I can hear her and see her everywhere I look. I know the intense pain we all feel.

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