Registered: 1528084278 Posts: 2
I'm not into writing or blogging but I feel so sad I hope writing about this can help... I lost my chihuahua after 11 years of having him. He fell from my bed (like he had couple of times before but everything was OK) and this time it was different. He had seizures and hit his head real hard. I froze and couldn't pick him.up so my younger sister did. As we rushed to the vet he started calming himself down..when we got there he seemed fine just like of he had pain in his jaw but waged his tail as we left the vet (because they told us they'd give him something for pain and stay over to make sure everything was fine) I didn't pet him or kiss him as I left cause I was nervous he'd still be in pain and I'd hurt him. One hour later they called us to please rush back to the vet.. We got there and they were trying to bring him back with CPR or whatever It is they try to do by pressing their chest.. It was too late and he passed away. I left the vet cause I couldn't bare to be there... My younger sister told me if I'd been more careful this wouldn't have happened. More than a month has gone by and at first I missed him a lot but not how I miss him now. As each day passes instead of feeling better I feel worse. I get a lot of anxiety and sometimes even feel I can't breathe and feel pain in my chest. I feel more anxious when u feel I want to pet him or see him and just can't. So I looked for videos or pictures and then I started crying uncontrollably to the point were I feel ridiculous cause no one understands. I'm not sure what I should do next to start feeling better or of this is normal. I feel emotionally drained and try to suppress it as much as I can but not a day goes by that my eyes aren't filled with tears more than once and once every couple of days I cry myself to sleep, I dream about him, I've even woken up in the mornings unconsciously looking for him cause he slept in my bed with me. Anyone Been through anything similar or have any coping mechanism to help me get through this? I'd appreciate it enormously
Thank you for taking the time to read.🖤
Registered: 1523120639 Posts: 63
I know exactly how you feel and I am so sorry for the loss of your dog. Believe me there was nothing that you could have done for a different outcome. It is utterly unbearable to lose a loved dog - I am 9 weeks 1 day down the road and am still sobbing daily. We are both grieving and grief takes it’s toll I’m afraid. It is also exhausting. You are probably still in shock as your dog went so quickly and it is very hard to accept. You obviously loved your dog dearly and I feel so sorry for you. I would say cry when you want to cry and try to eat and get some rest and try to think of happy times with your little man. This is a great forum for talking about your dog. The blue cross also has a really good free counselling service and they have all been through the same loss. Take care xxx
Registered: 1528084278 Posts: 2
Yes, it's really hard, sometimes I feel like this is all.a nightmare. Thanks for taking the time to read and write back, I really appreciate it.. I'll check out the counseling service of the blue cross and wish you also feel better soon.
Registered: 1498611382 Posts: 580
I to am sorry for your heart ache and pain. I know as we all here know the pain of losing a fur baby. Your's was an accident, nothing more. It wasn't your fault. Our babies have minds of their own. My sweet Termy broke his leg when he was just two jumping off our back deck. He had done this a million times but this one time he didn't land right and broke both bones in his front leg. I berated myself for a long time that I should have been more careful but he did what he always did but with a different result. We fixed it so he couldn't jump off again. My sweet Termy's little sister loves to rip around on the bed and scares me that she doesn't realize she's near the edge. Our babies live in the moment and your baby probably didn't even think about the edge of the bed being so close. You would have caught him if you would have known he was going to fall off. You loved him very much. Your sister blaming you is just her way of lashing out with her pain. Deep down she knows it was an accident. As Lynnsa said cry when you need to it's part of the cycle of loss. I lost Termy almost 9 months ago and I still cry and miss him very much. Be strong and remember the journey you made with your little one.
Take care of yourself Love and doggie hugs Termy's mom