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RipToby

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Posts: 1
 #1 

So my vet just called and said that my dogs ashes are ready to be picked up. It hasn't even been a week since we put him down. I just don't think I am ready to pick it up...its just too hard right now.

Luna13

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Posts: 846
 #2 
Hi there.  Yes the ashes - I remember how terribly hard that was.  I think the vet would understand if you ask them to hold them for a little bit.  Just remember to take each day one step at a time.  Grief is a very personal thing.  I'll remember you in my prayers today.  And remember your baby is with you always.  (((Hugs)))

Gerlie (Gypsy and Luna's forever mom)
Luna13

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Posts: 846
 #3 
Hi there.  Yes the ashes - I remember how terribly hard that was.  I think the vet would understand if you ask them to hold them for a little bit.  Just remember to take each day one step at a time.  Grief is a very personal thing.  I'll remember you in my prayers today.  And remember your baby is with you always.  (((Hugs)))

Gerlie (Gypsy and Luna's forever mom)
Doodads_Mum

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Posts: 31
 #4 
Dear RipToby,

Please accept my heartfelt condolences about your beloved Toby.  I am so sorry to hear about his passing.  I know how difficult it can be to think about going to pick up ashes.

I recently went and picked up ashes at my vet's office.  After they called and told me Kimba's ashes were there, I put on a baseball hat and huge dark sunglasses and drove over.  I didn't even have to say anything when I went up to the reception desk.  They handed over the bag the urn was in, said how sorry they were, and I smiled a small sad smile and walked out without a word.  It took less than a minute and I was on my way home with Kimba.

If it's too painful right now, I totally understand.  Honestly, I didn't want to do it either, but my "disguise" helped me feel confident that even if there were tears on my cheeks and my face was blotchy from crying, it would be barely noticeable behind my sunglasses.  

Also, I couldn't stand to be parted from Kimba for longer than necessary, even if he had been reduced to ashes.  I needed him home, regardless of how painful it was knowing he was gone.  I put his ashes next to a fish tank he loved to look into when he was a kitten until I got a small cabinet ready to hold the urn.

Please know that your petloss family is here for you and we are always willing to listen.  Once again, I am so sorry to hear about Toby and wish you strength during this difficult time.

Take care, hugs and blessings,
Cathy
Mayme

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Posts: 1,523
 #5 
Dear RipToby,

Go when you are ready. There are no rules. Remember that! My heart and prayers are with you in this time of such overwhelming grief.

Love, Mayme ~ Sammy's Mommy

Mimi

Registered:
Posts: 116
 #6 
Dear Rip Toby...Please take care of yourself right now.  I am sure your vet will hold the ashes for awhile for you. It was  over 2 weeks before I got Sita's ashes back...and I still had a friend drive me there and go into vets and get them.  I was still inconsolable, really...I could not even look at box. But, within a week I  began sleeeping with the box and then putting it beside my bed. And,  finally ,I did  begin to find some solice in having her with me again.
I wish I could tell you the healing happens quickly, it really does not...but, I can tell you that it does happen...and unbearable memories can become cherished ones. You are not alone, your baby is definitely right there with you, try to remember that always.
Rip, there is no right way to do this....always know we are all here for you , so never hesitate to post.
Blessings and prayers to you Rip Toby and to your beloved baby.  Mimi ( Sita's Mom)
LoriDR

Registered:
Posts: 2,123
 #7 
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Toby. I can't say anything any better than the others already did. It is true, picking up the ashes is so very difficult. It brings back that awful pang in my heart when I think of it. Do what the others said and take your time. Do it when you feel up to it, but honestly, I don't know if "ready" is ever the quite the right word. We just did it when we had a moment of feeling a little stronger than in other moments, but not really ready.

Take care of yourself.

Hugs,
Lori

Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #8 
I am sorry your precious Toby has passed on.  I know how hard it will be for you to pick up the ashes.   You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Mare

RoxanneReeves

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #9 

 I am so sorry to hear about Toby. I got "the call" 2 weeks ago that my 17 year old baby's ashes had come in. I went and picked them up right away, the only thought in my mind being I would have her back home..yet when I got her home, I left the bag containing the box of ashes untouched for almost 2 weeks. I couldnt bear looking at it. I put her ashes and my favorite framed photo of her on display, but I almost avoid that room now. Makes me realize she isnt here anymore. Take your time-it will be difficult no matter what. I have nothing elequent to say-because quite honestly, this really sucks. My best to you and God Bless your Toby. Take your time, ok? The vet will understand, trust me.

Sparkie

Registered:
Posts: 170
 #10 

Do you have someone that can go get them for you? My daughter picked them up for me. I know it's sad and eerie but you will somehow feel better when you get them home. They are in a drawer in my night stand. That's as far as I've got. I haven't looked in the box or even decided what I will do with them but it feels all right for now. You aren't alone in this journey.

Peach

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #11 
Hi,

I am new to the site, I don't even recall how I came to be here. My beautiful girl Sammie, Border Collie passed away on Saturday 16/01/10 only age 10. The pain in my heart is so bad and I am struggling to come to terms with it. It was all so sudden and unexpected. She had been so fit and healthy, then to discover she was terminal with cancer after she collapsed on Friday evening, the vet assured me that she wasn't in any pain and he found it a miracle how she wasn't. The cancer made her blood levels so low she just couldnt go on, I just can't believe that this all developed in the space of 16 hours then she was gone. I had her before the children so she was classed as my first baby girl. I have had her cremated and she will be back home on Saturday and I just don't know how I am going to cope with it. I just feel totally numb and just can't stop crying, does it get any easier because right now it feels as though I am going to mourn forever. I am so lost without her.

R.I.P Sammie baby   15/01/2000 - 16/01/2010 love mum xxx
Viv

Registered:
Posts: 21
 #12 

I'm so sorry for your loss. For me picking up the ashes two weeks after my cat died was the worst part. I sobbed and sobbed in my car before getting them and after. Do you have someone who could go with you?

Peach

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #13 
Hi again,

Well the crematorium are going to bring her home to the house for me so maybe that will make it a little bit easier for me I dont know. All the family are going to be here when she comes home, we have already had a little prayer service for Sammie but we have decided to have a final one on Saturday. I know it is going to be really hard but I hope I will feel better when I have her back in the house. I just keep going over and over it in my head thinking maybe more could have been done before making that final decision to have her go to sleep. But then again maybe if I did the pain would have start to set in and she would have suffered, I couldn't have done that to her. It's so weird because it's the physical side we miss yet it's what was inside that was her, her spirit, her essence... thats what we loved. I know she is here with me and always will be, just like all of our baby's that have passed over. I say a prayer for all our little ones that have passed, are about to pass and those in need of prayers and healing through sickess and injuries.

God bless, Love & Light x ((Sammie baby's Mum))
Peach

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #14 
Well thats my baby  been brought home. Theres been tears but there has also been smiles, smiles for the memories we spoke about. I couldnt leave in her the box they delivered her in, i had to take her out right away. I have placed her between to burning candles, with one of our favourite photos. I actually feel a little contentment inside that i have her home now, she is now home in body and spirit. But i miss her so much. I just keep trying to think of the happy life we gave her and how she is at peace now. Having a little service at 2pm today for the family, its gong to be difficult but its the least I can do for Sammie for all the love and joy she gave to us.

God bless my little angel, love you millions sammie always did and always will, love mum xxx
Deb1975

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #15 
I lost my beloved 16mth old cockapoo, Billy last Monday. He passed away due to a complication following surgery to remove a stone from his large intestine. Im finding it increasingly difficult to cooe with my loss and so im hoping that having his ashes back at home with me will help to ease my pain.
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