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LunaLacey

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Posts: 62
 #1 

Good Morning to you all - so yesterday I received that phone call that my baby Lacey's remains were ready to be picked up. Just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse! I can't believe that my beautiful baby girl is now in a bag. I am going to go this weekend and buy a beautiful box to keep her in. In a strange way it was a little and I do mean little comforting to know she was home - does that make any sense? And Luna - my other beautiful baby girl - is being amazing. It was strange though - I put Lacey's remains on a table in my room and Luna sniffed at the box of course and then seemed to run around the house for a bit. Did she know it was Lacey? Could she sense that? Was Lacey there? I hate having so many questions and to definite answers! I miss my baby girl :-(
cbrisbane

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Posts: 12
 #2 
Hi LunaLacey,
Sorry for your loss.
I picked up my dog´s remains today.I was surprised to see they put him in a little box w/his name. It was a bittersweet touch.  Do that, get a nice box. I can imagine what you feel, I have so many questions too...My beloved Yorkie died on the 22nd. 8 days ago and it has just left my heart to broken.  I do believe Luna might have sensed Lacey, animals are so much more sensitive that humans...I guess they rely on other senses that us humans haven´t yet developed like they have.
Yesterday I was at work (of all places!) and something just had the same sent as my dog, Tchugie. I suddenly felt a wave a peace. I am hoping it was him...
My Mom and I are thinking of placing his remains under one of his favorite trees. But my mom just said to me a little while ago, let´s let him sleep at home - at least today.So let´s see.
All my best, LunaLacey!
JanH

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Posts: 555
 #3 
There is a terrible strangeness about picking up the ashes of our beloved pets. It is really hard to explain and of course we are all different, for me at any rate it was sort of exciting, when they rang to say I could collect the ashes I couldn't wait to get them. My husband drove me in the car and I felt so strange, like I was going to get my baby back - bring him home again.The anticipation - I would have him back in my arms again.   Yet the reality, the harsh reality is I was handed a hard wooden box with his name on it. I felt intense pain, the reality of his loss - I can't explain the overwhelming sadness. For several nights when my husband fell asleep - I reached out and put the box on my chest and held my baby's box of ashes close to my heart. He was home, he was with me, yet he was not. For months and months the little box remained beside my bed. Eventually with the passage of time, I have recovered, more or less. That little box is now put away in a special place with other treasures, beautiful things, a glass angel and a bible. When I leave this earth I have left instructions for my beloved pets ashes to be placed in with me and we will be together for eternity.

I do hope this is not too long and depressing. These message boards are the only place where people like us who grieve so deeply for the loss of a beloved pet - this is the only place where we can express our pain and know that others care about us and understand, truly understand. 

JanH......across the water
Anns_MM

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Posts: 53
 #4 
I know what you mean about "little bag." I think that made the hurt worse. I didn't look at it for quite a few days, couldn't accept M&M's ashes...that meant I couldn't hug her anymore. On the other hand, my husband was at peace, saying to me, "she's home." We ALWAYS hated taking her to the vet and leaving her there, I was always so anxious to go and get her, to bring her home where it was safe.  We more or less did that when we picked up her ashes.  Had a heckuva time at the vet's when they brought the tin out, didn't even reach my hands and I was sobbing. I was hugging it, and my husband was hugging me.  Told my husband if some thing happens to me first, he is to bury M&M's ashes with me.

Hugs,
Ann

Mare

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Posts: 11,059
 #5 
Your precious Lacey is home with you where she belongs.  It wouldn't surprise me if your cat could sense the presence of Lacey.  My dear bunny is buried in my yard, but I can only imagine how heartbreaking it would be to pick up their ashes.  Losing your precious fur baby is such a time of great sorrow and sadness.  Thankfully, we do have so many wonderful and warm memories of their time with us.

Mare

petpassion

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Posts: 225
 #6 

I am so sorry on your loss of Lacey. Picking up her ashes must be a very hard thing to do especially when your heart is still breaking from the loss itself. Yes I believe Lacey was there and Luna saw her. They say our pets are psychic and can see other passed pets and people. I think it was beautiful. Peace be with you.  Jill

LunaLacey

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Posts: 62
 #7 

Thanks to everyone for understanding - I didn't find a box for Lacey yet but I have her pink blanket wrapped around the white box and I have her favorite toy and the paw prints the vet gave me on the box. I talked to her all weekend and cried for her all weekend. I miss her so so much.....
Mare

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Posts: 11,059
 #8 
My thoughts and prayers remain with you as you mourn the loss of your precious baby.  It helps to talk to your baby.....I still do it everyday!  One needs to continue to feel the connection to our precious little ones.

Mare

cincygal10

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Posts: 1,066
 #9 
My heart really goes out to you.  I don't know what's it like to bring home remains.  I guess I could see that it could give you some comfort.  We buried Cleo in a beautiful place.  It's a pet cemetery out in the country and it is so peaceful.  I've only been there a couple times.  We were there recently to see her new headstone.  This is how I see things.  Cleo left her body that was sick and old.  Her body was only a shell.  I know when I go the cemetery that she's not there.  It's only her shell.  We honored it by having a beautiful little ceremony.  I read a poem that I wrote and we put it in her little casket along with her favorite too.  We brought in a blue velour blanket that she love to lie in and they wrapped her in it.  Everything was really beautiful, but I was in a fog the whole time and I was so numb to it all.  Your baby's shell is with you, but your Lacey is at the Rainbow Bridge and she is in a new body.  Her pictures are so precious and she looks so beautiful.  Lacey left her body, but she never left you and she never will.  You are in the very early stages of grief and the first 2 to 3 months are the hardest.  We are all here for you.  Lacey is just fine.  She doesn't want you to worry.  I'm sure she will visit you in your dreams.  Take it a day at a time and keep remembering that Lacey never left you.  She is really still with you.  She'll never be gone.  She loves you too much.  I will keep you in my prayers tonight.  Be good to yourself.
 
                                                                     Sleep peacefully,
 
                                                                                Pam
FriskiesDad

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Posts: 89
 #10 
LunaLacey: Thank you for your reply to my posts. And please know I share your grief for your Lacey as you do for my Jack. I wish you solace and comfort in the knowledge they are both at The Bridge, waiting for us.

Jim
MarleysMom

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Posts: 10
 #11 
I probably should have had Marley's ashes sent to my vet but the crematory sent his ashes UPS.  I broke into tears when they arrived in a  box a week after having Marley put down.  Marley was cremated on my father's birthday which added to the pain.  I just got a beautiful urn with a sentiment of my choice engraved on it.  Marley's home again but in a different form.  I have his daughter, KittLitt, don't know if she realizes that her daddy's back. 

LunaLacey

Registered:
Posts: 62
 #12 


Thank you to everyone, I really need a hug today.

Pam - thank you for your post. I instantly started to cry when I was reading it - but that is ok. Your words were beautiful and I so want to believe you are right. Last night was a rough night. I washed my sheets/changed my sheets on my bed, knowing I was washing away the last time Lacey was on it but it had to be done. I didn't wash the pink blanket that I kept on my bed for her to sleep on though (not yet). Then when I was putting the clean sheets back on my bed I realized she wasn't there to help me! :-) Lacey always seemed to want to help straightening out the sheets for me! I missed her terribly. Then I sent a lot of my pictures I have on my phone to my computer at work so I can put them on a disk to develop them. I opened them all this morning and seeing them on a larger screen than my phone - I lost it! I know I am in the early stages of grief but THIS IS SO HARD! I miss her SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. I hear what everyone says and my head understands but my heart is just broken and doesn't understand at all. I know I have to go on with my life and move on with my life but this sadness is just overwhelming right now. I can't believe she has been gone for 12 days now. Thank you again to you personally and everyone who is offering healing words - you are all amazing, wonderful people for even trying to help me right now. Now I have to go and try to get some work done. Let me start by taking a deep breathe.....
SirEddysMomma

Registered:
Posts: 142
 #13 
((((( LunaLacey )))))

I'm so sorry for your loss, your pain. I lost my little Eddy last week and I just miss him so much...I believe I always will.

I also understand how hard it is washing the last of where they 'were'...it's so very sad.

Just know I understand & I'm sending you hugs.
Love,
Cynthia
(Missing Eddy so much)



LunaLacey

Registered:
Posts: 62
 #14 

SirEddysMomma (Cynthia),

Thank you for your kind words. It does help to know there are people here who understand and feel what I am feeling. I am also so sorry for your loss and your pain. This pain is just so intense. I honestly don't know how to deal with it. I just miss her so much I can't breathe.

Love to you all -

Lacey's Heartbroken Momma
cincygal10

Registered:
Posts: 1,066
 #15 
I know how much you miss Lacey.  It's been 12 days.  That's not even two weeks.  You're changing sheets and you're working.  You are doing much better than I did at 12 days.  I was just in a fog and felt numb.  I don't know if this will help or not, but I found it comforting to talk to my baby every day and every night.  Stay close to Lacey.  Keep that connection.  I know you can't see her or feel her physically, but she is still very much with you.  Her spirit is so alive.  Just talk to her.  She misses you just as much as you miss her.  I promise after a few months, the pain will soften.  You have begun this journey we call grief and you will be on a rollercoaster for a while with your emotions.  I know you don't understand everything, but everything happens for a reason.  Life is just as it should be.  I've always been  a fatalist.  Spend some time  with Luna.  She needs you.  She's grieiving too.  I didn't pay enough attention to my other standard poodle Tiffany.  She was really grieving and I was so caught up in a fog.  Now, I give her a lot of attention, but sometimes she does things that remind me of Cleo and that's hard.  She's so sweet and loving.  When I get my puppy Lucy, I think she will be a lot happier.  We will all be happier.  I promise you will make it through this difficult time.  The sharp pain you're feeling now will soften.  I wish I could take away your pain since I know it so well, but I can't.  I am here, however, and will help you as much as I can. 
 
                                                            Sleep peacefully,
 
                                                                             Pam
AceGallagher

Registered:
Posts: 31
 #16 
Hi LunaLacey and everyone.
I'm new here, having lost my baby Sandie yesterday. A friend told me to visit here for help and support, and it has been helpful so far. My family and I have lost 2 other doggies before, but Sandie was always *my* baby (I've spent more years of my life with her than without her), so the grieving for her has been very, very hard (and I know I've only just begun).

It has been interesting reading different reactions to our pets' remains. Some people need the physical piece for comfort, while I don't think I could handle looking at a box or bag with Sandie's name on it. I always saw it that when Sandie left us, she was no longer connected to that body. She was freed from that worn-out form because her spirit was now much too great for it. I too was asked what I wanted to do with the body afterwards. I knew I couldn't have brought myself to carry her lifeless form back home, but I didn't think I would want the ashes back either. The vet is partners with a pet cemetery who would bury the pet there if you don't request the ashes back. I thought, at least for me, that would be best.

LunaLacey, I feel the same pain you do. It's so overwhelming! I am so very happy for Sandie because she was suffering so much and is now a happy girl again, and I know your Lacey is happy too (they may have even met! Sandie never minded cats) but we as their mommies are left behind suffering and grieving for them.

Like Pam has said, keep talking to Lacey. I actually have been talking to Sandie myself. It does help, though sometimes I'm not sure how well she could understand me between sobs, but knowing that she probably is listening brings me some comfort. When I sat still once a short time after she left us, I almost thought I could feel her presence, and I could only thank her for reminding me she is ok.

We'll all make it through this with time; it's so very nice to know there are places like this website to use for supporting the great weight we have on our hearts.

Take care,
~Ace (aka Jill)

LunaLacey

Registered:
Posts: 62
 #17 

Once again I just have to say thank you to all of you who really understand what I am going thru. I am trying to come to a peace of some kind, knowing Lacey is not suffering anymore. I just keep thinking that it isn't fair - she had just turned 8 years old on 10-9-09 and I had to put her to sleep on 10-23-09. As grateful as I am that I had 7 1/2 years with her - I just feel so angry that she was so young! That she got Congestive Heart Failure and was so sick. That 2 months later to the day of finding out just how sick she was - that she is gone. That her last few days were not good for her. That there was nothing more I could do for her.

As for my Luna - I am giving her so much love and attention (not that I didn't before! :-) now, I know she is sad and misses her sister. As a matter of fact - yesterday when I came home from work, The blanket I have around Lacey (the box where her ashes are) was off the box, the paw print that the vet gave me was turned over, her favorite ball was off the box and a stone/crystal I used to rub Lacey with was on the floor instead of the box. I guess Luna wanted to play with her sister or was missing her sister! In a weird way - it brought me a little comfort, not sure why.

To all of you - I really can't thank you enough for being there these last few weeks. It has helped to be able to come here and post what I am feeling and know you all understand. I don't think I could have made it thru, I am so grateful I found this site. I guess in a way, I was meant to find this site. Maybe it was Lacey guiding me, knowing how sad I am that she is gone. I am so sorry that we all are going thru this pain. You are all angels and I will be forever grateful to have found you.




Friendlygal

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #18 
I hope you all are doing well and are at peace with your decisions. Your animals sound so beautiful and you all are such wonderful parents to these precious creatures!!! I'm also wrestling with not knowing if I should cremate!! I don't know that I could handle seeing my baby reduced to ashes. :( But I'll likely move so are there any regrets here with having chosen a cemetery and then moved? Hugs to you all!! Friendlygal
Dogsarepeopletoo

Registered:
Posts: 106
 #19 
Friendlygal: What did you end up deciding? We have had our pets cremated. The very first one was a cat -- we spread her ashes under a huge climbing rose that she snoozed under. We lived in that house for 17 years, then moved away. I wish we hadn't spread her ashes because we go by that house and they have ripped out that rose (what?!!!) and put gravel there. Ugh. But, we have awesome memories of our beloved kitty.

Our beloved dog died a few weeks ago; her ashes came back in a beautiful wood box that is screwed shut. It is on a shelf in the den -- not quite sure where to keep it but weleave it out for now.

Thank goodness cremation is a choice now.
pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #20 
LunaLacey,
I am very sorry for your loss. I believe Luna knew it was Lacey. Sweet girl was confirming it for you. I hate that you are hurting. They own our hearts. May you find peace.
Paula aka Raider’s mom
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