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Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #1 
I don't get here as often as I used to - life can fill our paths at times, and perhaps I should remember that and not ask, but my babies need prayers - and I would appreciate any that can be spared for them.

For over a year one of my calicos has been fighting an overactive thyroid and severe arthritis - and we finally are turning a corner and heading in the right direction. My sweet little tabby boy has been fighting Lymphoma for that same year plus and has so far done well, but has started loosing weight, but still he has done so much better than they had expected.

These 2 are 16 1/2 and 15 1/2 respectively.

And now there is Pearl. Pearl is my big orange and white boy. He is 16 1/2 and so very timid. Over the last 3 weeks he has lost a full pound - 9.5% of his body weight. He has developed a stiff uneven gait and is ataxic, is avoiding people, and today his vet found a large abdominal mass. 3 weeks ago he was doing great. (Normally he goes to the vet every 2 weeks, but Florence threw that schedule off so it has been 3 weeks - he goes in for his allergies). He will be seen at the Oncology Dept at the Vet School next week, his vet was adamant - 7 days or sooner. Please if you can say a small prayer for him.
InMemoryOfRascal

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 #2 
Ghatten, you and your babies are definitely fighting battle after battle.  I will absolutely keep your crew in my prayers - especially your Pearl who has developed his issue so suddenly.

Take care and hugs from my "terrible twosome" Edie & Pixie.

InMemoryOfRascal....andRambo
iheartdierks

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Posts: 20
 #3 
Hi Ghatten,

I will keep your sweet babies in my prayers. Thank you for all of your kind words and support to others on this website. 
Ghatten

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 #4 
Just a quick update - that is all I can manage right now. He has an appointment for Wednesday, but I expect he will be there sooner than that. He has stopped eating, has been throwing up, and cries when I touch him (not that "Mommy, I'm busy" cry, he is hurting). I just talked to his vet and she sent me home with anti-nausea and pain meds - she and I agree, he needs to go this evening or tomorrow even if it means going in through ER. I don't understand - this hit him so fast, or I really messed up and didn't see it happening.
InMemoryOfRascal

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 #5 
Ghatten, I am so sorry.  I have no doubt that there was no sign that you missed.  Our babies can hide so many things - I believe they do it for us.  Is it possible for them to do an emergency surgery to remove the mass to give him a bit more time or is your boy in too much pain/weak to attempt it?

I am so very sorry you are going through this.  As you know I lost my Rascal suddenly and unexpectedly; her brother Rambo we battled the heart and kidney issue for 11 months.  So I have experienced (sadly) both the sudden and the prolonged battles.  My heart truly breaks for you and your Pearl.  All I can say - which you already know - is whether you have 1 hr, 1 day or much longer with your sweet boy just hold/hug/love your boy.  Every moment is priceless - always not enough moments but hold on to each one.  You love Pearl and he know that which is everything.

Take care
InMemoryOfRascal
Ghatten

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 #6 
At this point we just don't know - we don't even know for sure what type of mass we are dealing with. Blood work seems to rule out Lymphoma, but liver and gal bladder values are off. Oncology won't see him until Wednesday - going tomorrow to the Vet School ER is in hopes of buying him time to get to Wednesday, I am just not ready to do this again - loosing Skittles hurt so bad, and I know with the other 2 I have sick right now we are on borrowed time (Diamond has severe arthritis and very poorly controlled hyper-thyroidism so her little body is metabolizing at super speed, and Sparky was diagnosed with Lymphoma over a year ago and it is a miracle he is still doing so well). And I am not handling this well at all at the moment - I just am not ready. And the truth is he looks like he may not even be here tomorrow, I gave him some pain meds and anti-nausea meds so he is comfortable, but he is so weak. Even his vet said she is stunned that you can almost see the decline as you watch him. 
Ghatten

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 #7 
9/29 Update: He is doing little better, his vet still wants him to go to the Vet School, but now feels he may be okay until the new week when oncology is open (we'd still go ER, but that will backdoor him in a lot sooner. Today he actually has ate (a very small amount) and drank (and peed) - yes I am getting excited about small gains, but so did his vet.
KatMomWolf

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Posts: 277
 #8 
Hello dear sister wolf I would like you to know that I have put pearls name on the special needs list from myself and all of the other Wolfpack

We are keeping you close at heart and it's great to read your post that he's doing a little bit better I will continue to keep a healing light focused on you and your fur baby from my kitty bubbles a senior Kitty and myself keep us posted....

Katmomwolf5 and bubbles..
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #9 
Dearest Ghatten,
My heart goes out to you and your three babies. I feel you and your heartache. I will keep you in my thoughts and I will ask Termy (who is at the Bridge) to look after your babies and and send his love and support to you and them. May God grant you healing and fulfill your hearts desire for your babies.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
erikc21

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Posts: 7
 #10 
Ghatten,

I have been thinking about, you, Pearl, and the rest of your loved ones a lot lately. Reading your updates warmed my heart as it appears some improvement has occurred. You all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

I’ve known a lot of pet owners, as we all have, and it is certain that your babies are as lucky to have you in their lives as you are to have them. Your love and kindness towards them, and others on this board, reminds me of what is truly great about humanity. You didn’t miss any signs - it’s likely because you’re so attentive Pearl and the rest of your family have had so much longevity.

I know Skittles, Rsacal, our beloved Pixie, and many of our other loved ones are fast friends - they are watching down over you in your time of need.

Thinking of you all and I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #11 
9/30 Update: Pearl is holding his own - not really eating, but he is drinking. After I gave him a dose of pain meds this morning we did get some purring, but only after the meds. I am taking him to the Vet School ER in a bit, not because he has gotten worse (he is definitely bad now without getting worse),but because it gets him in 3 days earlier and his vet an I both feel 3 days is too long to wait. In all fairness to the Vet School - Wednesday for an initial consult is remarkably fast - they worked very hard to work him in, it's just I'm not sure he has 3 days to wait. Right now he is in our infirmary crate with a bole of very soft yummy food and a coffee cup of water (yes, a coffee cup - my babies ARE NOT SPOILED) sleeping - so I can monitor food and water intake. And he seems to like being in the crate as it keeps the others away. I will update as I am able - nothing will really happen today, but if they say they can do nothing Pearl will come home and see his vet in the morning - he will spend his last night at home surrounded by his family be it tomorrow or down the road unless it is totally out of our hands.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #12 
Update: Pearl was admitted last night - ER agreed he needed immediate care and they talked with Oncology before I left and he will transfer to their care when they arrive this morning, ER also agreed that Wednesday may very well be too late, and getting in 2 1/2 days earlier may well be his only hope. Now I just wait and pray - again.
Ghatten

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 #13 
Update: Pearl's new doctor called to let us know he had a good night and is purring today, and that he has transferred to Internal Medicine. That may actually be better for the moment as the resident in Oncology is an Internal Medicine resident and the resident in Internal Medicine is an Oncology resident. Today's plan is an ultrasound and needle biopsy - then plan from there.
Ghatten

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 #14 
Update: okay - the Dr called a bit ago - the ultrasound found 2 large masses - one inside the intestinal wall and one on the liver - and other irregularities. The did do a needle aspirate biopsy but those results aren't back yet. But he handled the sedation well and did wake back up normally so that is on hoop completed. It is a step in the right direction to find answers, but we still don't know what those answers may be.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #15 
Update: They just called again - he needs (so they need permission???) a transfusion. One (or more) of the needle biopsies is bleeding.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #16 
2 Updates: They called again - he needs (so they need permission???) a transfusion. One (or more) of the needle biopsies is bleeding. 2nd Update: Biopsy is back - he has lymphoma, and the bleeding won't stop.

This all happening so very fast - too fast. And I'm 2 hours away from him.
iheartdierks

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Posts: 20
 #17 
Ghatten,

Thinking of you and Pearl.  Glad he held up well through sedation. You are doing everything you can for your baby. Sending prayers.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #18 
 EOW  We lost Pearl at around 5:10pm today
KatMomWolf

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Posts: 277
 #19 
Ghatten..
So sorry
my heart is with you still.. healing purrrs to Pearl and hugs and light to you as well.
Im sorry the special need for him did not show up on the list for some reason and I just want you to know we are all in thought for your baby and kewping a candle lit for you.


Katmomwolf5 and bubbles
KatMomWolf

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Posts: 277
 #20 
Dearest Ghatten....
Please know my heartfelt condolences are now with you at this sad and painful time.
My last girl penny an orange tabby will help him find his way and be his companion forever.. endless love and rainbow light ..
Katmomwolf5 and bubbles
InMemoryOfRascal

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Posts: 2,440
 #21 
Ghatten, I am so very sorry for your loss.  You and Pearl definitely put up the fiercest of battles.  My heart breaks for you.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #22 
This is one of my favorite photos of Pearl - in his lazer treatment goggles. He could handle anything at the vets - as long as he couldn't see anything.

 [pearl] 
erikc21

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Posts: 7
 #23 
My sincere condolences to you and yours. I wish I could say something to make the pain go away, but I cant. Just know I am sharing in your grief.

You recently told me ‘With each precious one I have lost there has been a sense of what did I do I could have done differently, what did I do wrong, why this way? I believe guilt is our grief talking to us.‘ Please remember you did everything you could for Pearl - and Pearl loves you for it.

In the short time I’ve been reading and writing on this board I’ve learned more from you, and others here, about the unconditional love we have for our pets/family members. They teach us so much and I believe they help us help each other in our time of need.

Thoughts and prayers and tears.
goofygirlinva

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Posts: 1,191
 #24 
I'm so sorry...
twinkiesmom

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Posts: 839
 #25 
I am so sorry for your loss.
iheartdierks

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Posts: 20
 #26 
I'm so sorry. You did everything you could for Pearl and he knows that.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #27 

I will go back to the vet school tomorrow, Sparky has been going regularly for over a year now - this is just a quarterly check. He has Lymphoma but there has been no change in over a year so he is holding his own. We will bring Pearl home with us.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #28 
my thanks to all of you, your kind words mean more than you can know. To date we have lost 80 that had names as well as our love - more that were never named. Most are in our back yard - tomorrow or the next day there will be one more.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #29 
A Final Note: Pearl came home yesterday evening. They did good by him at the Vet School as he looked very peaceful, he did not look like he suffered. The Dr there said he was very calm, just weak - and that he just faded away, likely from blood loss. All of his housemates got a chance to say goodbye and I lined his box with a white polar fleece throw blanket decorated with Carolina bluebirds and pussy-willows. His grave was started yesterday - and we buried him this morning. That spot (a bit larger than his 18 X 15 coffin at this time - Pearl was a large kitty) will be planted later today with a variety of teacup roses. Other roses will be added as others join him in the years ahead.

Diamond Mask is having a hard time with this, he was her snuggle buddy and we used to joke that Pearl was likely the only cat we had that would tolerate her constant 4 pawed back massages. She checked on him several times before he was buried, other than that she has mostly been hiding. Her grief worries me - she is not well, and was the one we worried would likely be our next loss, not Pearl.

I will do some kind of tribute for Pearl, not today - and not sure yet what. For now all I can do when I think of him is cry.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #30 

Pearl

 

     The big orange and white kitty stretched lazily, yawning as he woke. “I tried to tell them all I needed was a nap, now I feel so much better. I guess they decided to let me sleep.” He took a deep breath and realized his nose wasn’t stuffed up any more. “Wow, I can actually smell. I haven’t done that since for as long as I can remember! I guess these doctors know how to get rid of that cal-e-see.”  As Pearl blinked his eyes open he began to wonder where all the doctors had gotten off to, and where they had put him to nap. This space was so much nicer, warm and inviting and lovely – not so cold and sterile looking. Still – this wasn’t his doctor’s place, wasn’t where his Donna and Debbie were. He smiled to himself thinking of them – how every other week he got to visit and get special pettings and they waved that funny light thingy around his muzzle to help his mouth feel better. Kelly and all of his friends there were always so nice to him, but usually he saw Debbie and Donna so he considered them his. Still these doctors were nice and seemed to care.

     As he began looking around he realized that a really big black and white cat was laying very near to him just staring, waiting. “About time,” the large tuxedo cat rumbled. “I was beginning to think all you were gonna do was snore.” Dracula smiled at his little brother – his eyes dancing with suppressed laughter.

     Pearl heard his doctors talking – almost whispered tones, “We need to call them, let them know – soon.” “No, try a bit longer.” “He’s not here any longer.” He looked at Dracula, wondering who they were so worried about – and why he could hear them but not see them. His big brother seemed to understand his unspoken question and his eyes began to glaze over with sadness.

     “Come, I will show you,” he said as he stood and turned away. Pearl stood up to follow and noticed that they were outside in a beautiful meadow. He wondered how he got outside – he never tried to go out, in his house was fine and safe. Dracula walked up to a beautiful crystal clear pond, so clear it sparkled like a mirror. Pearl walked up to the water’s edge and looked in as Dracula seemed to wish for him to, then jumped back – the waters didn’t reflect back like a mirror or water – it was like looking through a window to somewhere else! Dracula nudged him gently, “What did you see?”

     Pearl thought for a moment. “Those are my doctors at the new place, and other doctors I don’t know working with mine. They seem upset, the kitty or pup they are with right now is not doing as well as they would like. One of them went to make a phone call.” Dracula’s eyes glistened now with sadness. Pearl looked back in the pond, “Now the doctors all look sad and seemed to have stopped – is that one is now a fur angel?”

     Before Dracula could answer Pearl heard his mommy and daddy, both sobbing. Mommy kept saying no. He looked back to Dracula then back to the pond. The doctors were gone, now he could see his mommy and daddy, even though they were in different places at the moment, talking to one another on the phone. He looked at Dracula again, confused as he began to remember things. Mommy never allowed him to be outside, she said it wasn’t safe – but he was outside now. Dracula had been gone now for over 4 years, but he was here now. And this place was lovely, but no place he had ever seen before. “Do you begin to see?” Dracula asked. “The others will be here soon, they waited so you would have time to gather you thoughts about you – but they all want to see you.”

     Pearl looked at Dracula, understanding beginning to fill his thoughts. “Was that me? Am I the one those doctors were trying so hard to save? What is momma gonna do? Her last words in my ears were she would be back to bring me home soon as she kissed my head goodnight.” His words seemed to come out in a tumble and Pearl began to become distressed, “She is gonna feel like she failed me, but I know she tried so hard.”

     Suddenly the whole sky lit up with the most beautiful rainbow, and a tumble of fur, feet, and purrs decended on Pearl. “Here he is Tessie, I told you our boy had gotten big,” Tiger said to her sister. Liz and Punky walked up to him, “we have missed you!” Soon Pearl was surrounded by so many – all of the backyard pride that loved Mommy and Daddy even if they never would let them near, Goldie who had lead the backyard pride for so many years, so many others – and all of the furball gang from inside, even some he never met but knew of from others. Pearl wasn’t sure he had ever seen so many kitties in one place – and they all loved Mommy and Daddy.

     Pearl looked back to Dracula, “What about Daddy? he loves me and needs me to keep him company when he is on the sofa watching TV.  What about Mommy? She worked so hard to keep me happy.”

     Dracula nuzzled his little brother, “She and Daddy will hurt, as they have for each of us – they will bring you home, and Daddy will make you a beautiful place. And in time they will remember the happy times with you. And someday they will come here too and we will all be together. Until then you can send them love as we all do and watch over them here at the reflecting pond.”

     Pearl made his way back to the edge of the pond and looked at his mommy and daddy. “I love you both – I will be here waiting for you.”

 

© Candace 10/7/18

KatMomWolf

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Posts: 277
 #31 
As I started to read this I got chills

when I realized what it was I stopped only because I was going to cry

And then I decided I must read on and I got chills over and over again and I read it till the very end
One day we will all be reunited together and until then I am remembering all of mine one at a time all through the years that they are waiting for me too,

in loving memory of Pearl, please watch over my fur babies tell them mommy loves them very very much,

Ghatten, healing light to give you the warmth and love that you gave and the love they gave back

Katmomwolf5 and bubbles the cat
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