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Doggyinheaven

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Posts: 13
 #1 
Hello. I came to this board in despiration. I had my West Highland white terrier for 13 years and put her to rest in my arms one week ago—she was injected with the shot. I have been crying non stop since and have missed so much work. I honestly feel like i just want to die. This pain i feel in my heart is absolutely agonizing. She was my everything and i cant stop re-living her final moments and the lady few weeks in which i was desperately trying to save her. She had possible lymphona snd chronic bronchitits. I feel like the life in my heart and body has been taken away. She was my baby. As i held her in my arms i kept saying over and over, “I’m so sorry, baby. Im so sorry.”
Sarah1983

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Posts: 4
 #2 
I had to put my bailey to sleep on Saturday and I am feeling exactly the same as you.... it is all consuming guilt, pain, and heartbreak and I totally understand what u are goin through. I keep thinking time will help but i cannot see a end to this pain xx
Sarah xx
Doggyinheaven

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Posts: 13
 #3 
I’m so sorry Sarah. I am grieving with you. :( how long did you have bailey and why did you have to say goodbye? My baby had some type of cancer and the last two weeks is where she really started to show the signs. It all went by so fast - it was such a traumatic bad dream. It was unbelievably intense. I get her ashes tonight and I am so afraid- don’t know what other type of emotions it will bring. :(
Sarah1983

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Posts: 4
 #4 
He had cancer as well...... prostate cancer that had spread. I had him from 12 weeks old to 12 years old he was my first child. He was with me through every tough time in my life and never left my side.... I'm utterly heartbroken. I get his ashes on Saturday and I'm dreading it. My friend said its a relief to get the ashes like somehow they are home again... I'm not to sure. Please let me know how u feel xxx
Doggyinheaven

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Posts: 13
 #5 
Yes I will let you know how I feel once I get the ashes. My baby left me exactly one week ago today- almost same exact time. The first six days I cried non stop and honestly wanted to die. I had no life in me. Coming home to our house was just awful and being at work was horrible as well. I did notice watching tv with family helped- and I never watch tv. I watched about 3 baseball games with my dad and it lifted my spirits a little but the crying still came in waves after. Today, the seventh day, was the first day I didn’t wake up crying and I cannot believe how numb I feel. I mean I REALLY feel so very numb. I’ve never been through anything like this before so everything is unexpected. I had a counseling session with a let bereavement counselor on Sunday and this also helped a lot. She recommended a pet loss book for me to read and that arrives tomorrow so I’m hoping that will assist me during this grieving process too
Jamyer

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Posts: 17
 #6 
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I think losing a pet is harder than losing a human. Trust me, I've experienced both. After saying goodbye to my dog Cleo, I had so many emotions surfacing, but at the same time total numbness. I dreaded each new day. Please take some comfort in the posts on these pages. You may feel alone, but we've all been through or are going through the same thing. It's been just over a year since Cleo left, I still get teary moments, but the pain lessens, and the good memories really do remain with you. Your pet becomes part of you, and that can never be lost or taken away. Take care, and take Time.
Doggyinheaven

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Posts: 13
 #7 
Yes Jaymer.  It seems losing an animal is worse - i thought about that today and not sure why.  i think because with animals we only communicate with the heart and through the heart.  with humans there's other forms of communication - so because with pets it goes straight to the core.  also, their love is just always so unconditional - nothing can compete with that.  nothing comes close.  today is the first day i can tell i'm losing my appetite.  i actually lost five pounds in one week.  she died one week ago - today. sarah - i received my dogs ashes last night and i cried all night.  i put them on my bed right in the spot she slept on which was right next to me.  i did feel her presence strongly with me all night.  and yes, it feels like a relief that she is now home with me.  today being the one week since she has passed, i can say i feel absolutely NUMB. out of the 9 hours i was at work today, i probably actually did about 2 hours of work.  i stared at my screen all day and tried so hard to be productive, but that is not working.  i called my therapist to make an appointment for next week.  i hope things start to change 
stronics

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #8 
Doggyinheaven, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I know how you feel, completely devastated. I am 76 and it has been the worst hurting of my whole life. I have never experienced anything so painful.
I was mowing the lawn today and was talking to my boy, about all that has changed since he left. Winter is coming and he loved the winter. God I miss him so much, I've got to go, so very sorry for your loss.
David
grandma

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Posts: 2
 #9 
My granddog Levi, a labradoodle was put to rest yesterday. He was 8 years old and had lymphoma, as well as slipped discs in his back (from all that Frisbee catching)  It began about two weeks ago and now he is gone. I babysat him every day. My daughter and I held him in our arms while the vet pushed the solution into the IV.  I love him so much. I cannot stop crying. I literally feel as if my heart is broken. I know he was ready to go, he was so very sick. My heart hurts so bad and I keep thinking "did I miss something?" and I wish I would have spent more time holding him. He loved to cuddle. I can barely write this through the tears. I don't ever remember feeling so broken hearted. I read where someone said it helped when they received their baby's ashes. I sure hope so.
Angel_Dawn

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Posts: 22
 #10 
Doggyinheaven, I am so sorry your puppy had to cross over. I am going through the same. Had to put to rest my kitty girl - Dawn. Her brother died unexpectedly 5 years ago and in September of this year his sister became very critical. I felt at the time that I had no choice. She was suffering and the odds were against her.
On days when I am not working I just lay in bed, cry, wishing to die.
I get your pain. We're all in this together.
I have ashes of both of my kittens. I am glad I have them but don't have strength to hold them or look at them. They are hidden in my closet for now. Wanted to cremate because I want their remains with me always. When I die I want them in my coffin.
I know that they're all in heaven though waiting for us:)
Doggyinheaven

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #11 
Hi grandma. I share with you in grief at this time as well as my own father. My dad absolutely loved my dog, Pai (pronounced like “pie”). He watched her a lot as I led a busy life. I’ve never seen my dad cry all of my 42 years of being alive until Pai left us. It’s definitely a very very vey hard time for all of us. She passed 8 days ago and I’ve cried every day since. My heart hurts so much. The pain honestly feels like I’m suffocating one slow second at a time. The grief is unreal. I was thinking today as I was driving that I don’t believe my life will ever be the same. And, i
Received her ashes two days ago. I took the bag out of the box and held them very close to my heart - and cried. I cried all night and then put her ashes on her spot on the bed. They’re still there and I feel they will be there for a long time. Every moment I get home a candle is lit for her and it stays on all night. I speak to her as o fall asleep and then when I blow her candle out in the morning- I say good morning to her. I’ve never experienced anything like this in all my life and I don’t know what to expect I’m the days ahead, but my body tells me it will be so much unending sadness ahead. :(
Doggyinheaven

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #12 
Stronics- I am sorry for your loss. I talk to my baby girl all the time. Tonight I spoke to her like she was still in my back seat. I sang to her. I do believe she hears me. Angel_dawn I send you so much love to you and your kitties. I am so glad to hear you have their ashes and the will be buried with you. How beautiful. I am so thankful for this message board - knowing that I’m not the only one going thru this :(
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