Petloss.com Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
Vinny2018

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #1 
So I find myself here looking for some kind of help or support to get me through what has been one of the most traumatic times of my life.
My beautiful baby Vinny was put to sleep 4 weeks ago.. we had him for 6 years he was always aggressive from a puppy.. had bitten me and my partner many times and nearly bitten our friends daughter (Just missed her skin and ripped her clothing) also went for most people that tried to stroke him.. you couldn’t approach him or feed him he would try to bite you... yet he also had the most beautiful sweet side was so clever and I loved him so much and he never left my side.
Things got so bad at home he was guarding me and snarling at my partner constantly.. we had to make sure no one touched him when they came round and our friends stopped coming over as they were frightened of him.. as were we.. yet still I loved him and wanted to keep him.. finally after another lash out, with a heavy heart I agreed with my partner that we would try to rehome him as we couldn’t carry on(I probably would have carried on regardless of the aggression).
We contacted a fabulous organisation who foster the dogs reassess and then rehome them.. they agreed to take him and work with him and rehome him.. I was in bits but thought that it was the only thing we could do and he wouldn’t be stuck in a kennel somewhere.
So Vinny went to a fabulous foster and for the first 2 weeks everything was going amazing she was in touch and was thinking of keeping him.. then the old Vinny came back and he started snarling, sowing severe aggression, dominating and snapping at his foster and her family..
that’s when I got the call from the trustee of the organisation saying that Vinny was very poorly mentally and there are no triggers for his aggression it can’t be worked with he is classed as a dangerous dog due to his severe unpredictable aggression and they think the best thing is for him to be put to sleep..or have him back? No rescues could take him and he couldn’t be rehomed as he was too aggressive.
I was in bits but I knew in the bottom of my heart We couldn’t have him back he was so aggressive to my partner it wouldn’t work.. the hardest call I made the next morning was for them to go ahead with putting my baby to sleep...
So here i am now 8 weeks since my baby left and 4 weeks since he was put to sleep and I can’t stop crying .. the guilt along with how much I miss him is at times unbearable.. I feel so guilty that I wasn’t with him when he crossed over the bridge and I miss him so much.. we paid for all the vet bills and he is home with us now but my heart is broken and I feel like I’m never going to be able to get through this :(
I’m not looking for sympathy more to just see if anyone else has been through this and how to deal with it.. I am usually a happy and strong person and have been through lots of tough times in my life but I am struggling so much with this...
Thanks for taking the time to read x
Ghatten

Registered:
Posts: 1,821
 #2 
Making the decision is always heart breaking - and seems so much worse and even unfair when they are young and/or physically healthy. it is never easy - and i can only imagine how hard it has to be when they seem so healthy physically. But the sad truth is they are not healthy - mental illness is still illness.

 

The truth is your baby was sick - no, not a physical ailment that could be seen this time - but still sick. And as with some physical ailments, some mental ailments cannot be successfully treated. You set your baby free. Even when we free our beloved companions from catastrophic physical ailments like end stage cancer we often go through feeling that same way, it is normal. Guilt is very often the 1st steps on grief’s path, the what ifs and if onlys are simply our grief tormenting us. When we loose these precious souls why really doesn't matter why - love is a shared bond and when that bond seems severed it hurts. But your baby will be with you always - free of the aggression they could not control - simply in a form you cannot see.

You gave your baby a safe place and you loved them - and you gave them a lifetime of love and care in their time with you then endured the heartbreak of giving him to someone else's care to try to save him. When you agreed to letting him go ahead to Rainbow Bridge you allowed a dignified good-bye allowing them to leave with dignity surrounded by love. You gave him chances where many would not. Please know you did try and in the end had no real choice - what were your baby's options? Life in a cage? Intervention 'on the spot' by the authorities when things got too out of control? Someone scarred and their death happening at the hands of someone trying to stop them? An end that likely would not have been with ones who loved your baby or cared if they were frightened? You gave your baby a wonderful life where elsewhere they may have known abuse, and gave them every chance you could and you tried to give them a home where they would be safe. When your baby passed to the hands of the angels it was be from love to love, they carried your baby to a place where they is free of the demons that made them aggressive and at that instant your baby understood that all of you acted out of love and compassion. Your baby is free and happy. Please know all you are feeling right now is normal and no matter what the circumstances is what we have all felt. i am so very sorry for your loss.

Know we are here for you and your family. Sadly, we have seen this tale before and we do understand and we know sometimes there is no choice.

When you can please share a photo. I feel certain there are so many wonderful memories with
your baby, and sharing those sometimes helps. And if you just need someone to sit by your side - well you now belong to a family that circles the globe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[gentleones_title]
 

[silverrose-tears]





It seemed the day was even grayer than even the greyest of days. The pup found she was suddenly at the edge of the most beautiful place she had ever seen. She could still feel Mom and Dad's tears, hear their sobs. "I'm so sorry Mom and Dad, I really did try but the demons are too strong and sometimes they pushed through." She lowered her head and began to walk away, to be sure she did not deserve to be someplace so lovely.

A radiant being in white suddenly stood in her path, surrounded by many other pups of all sizes and breeds. "Please," she implored, "I don't want to, but if you stay near me sooner or later the demons will win and I may hurt one of you. I don't want to hurt anyone, its best if I just go."

The radiant being just smiled at her - a soft compassionate smile, at that moment they reminded her of her Mom and Dad. "I let them down so many times, I didn't want the demons to win but sometimes they do. And I left them no choice, I let them down and hurt them yet again."

Hero, Seabreeze, Heather, Charlie, Molly, John, Stashie, Hershey, Samson, Morgan, Niko, Jordan, Timber, Dixie, Buddy, Tina, Snickers, Dizzy, Harley, Jack, Kimmi, Sammy, Fender, Tosca, Bruno, tried to gather around the newcommer but she backed away. Seabreeze stepped forward, "We won't hurt you little one." She looked to the radiant being and whimpered, "Please make them leave. I don't want to hurt anyone else."

Now the radiant being smiled and actually seemed amused. "Little One, reach within. Can you feel that? Can you feel the demons are gone?" The little one got quiet and after a moment looked up in amazement, "They ARE gone!!" Then she looked at the others around her, "But I've done so many bad things, I don't deserve nice friends. I don't deserve to be in such a wonderful place." Now the others all looked amused. Dizzy spoke up first, "We all felt that way at first." Slowly Dizzy's words filtered in. "You mean . . . ., I am not the only one?" she asked quietly.

Tina pushed to the front, "Of course not, all our humans had to make that same choice as yours. But now you're free - the demons are gone." The Little one thought on Tina's words. "What about Mom and Dad? Can I let them know I am free, that I'm sorry?"

At that moment all the others grew quiet, the Little One looked to the radient being and realized they were gone. She looked to the rest afraid their silence meant no. Just then a large silver wolf walked up to her, she knew she should fear a wolf, yet, somehow knew she could trust The Silver One. "Have you all finished monopolizing her time yet? If you are done she still needs to be shown the reflection pond, to be shown . . "

Just then the Little One heard a familiar sound, her Mom and Dad. "They are here?" she asked, and she followed the sound. She found herself by the clearest crystal pond, and when she looked into the pond she saw her Mom and Dad." Concentrate on them, Little One. Send your love and thanks to them - from your heart to theirs - and they will feel your love." the Silver One said gently. As she watched her Mom and Dad seemed to calm even thought they were still crying, and her Mom looked up at her Dad, "She is at peace now wrapped in our love."

The Little One looked at the Silver One and the others, "Thank You." The Silver One looked at the others and back at her, "You can see them anytime you wish from here. The others will show you how to send them your love, Little One."

(c) Candace 11/13/09

All too often people do not want to discuss this type loss, so those who experience making the decision due to aggression issues feel they are alone.

All the names of the other ones are real – Fur angels we have seen at PetLoss because their parents had to make that sad decision due to aggression issues. i am sure there are other names also - newer names and names I have accidentally left out.

We understand - know that you had no choice and we understand that you are in pain. But your fur child is with the other fur angels - free of the demons she fought against so hard.

 




ghattenwolf

cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 580
 #3 
I couldn't have said it any more beautifully than ghattenwolf did. I am so sorry that you had to make this dreadful decision to free your baby, Vinny.We all try so hard to give them the best we can all their life but in the end we also have to let them go for one reason or another. Always remember the love you gave Vinny for those years and the love he returned. I know the heart ache and pain you are going through. It doesn't matter why we let them go, in the end it's still the same.
Love to you and your broken heart.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: