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AshleyG

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Posts: 1
 #1 
My cat, Pagan, has been with me since 2001.  I got him from the SPCA when he was 8 months old.  I have not slept or eaten.  His appointment is at 10:30 this morning.  Every minute is agony, and I don't know what to do.  His quality of life is not great, but he may still have weeks or months left, so my guilt is overwhelming.  Every time he drinks or looks at a bird, I think "Not yet", but I know I will have to endure this again regardless of how long I put it off.  

How did (or do) you all deal with the constant emotional pain?  I just want to crawl into myself and disappear.  When I'm sitting, I rock back and forth.  I do have people in my life who are a support system, but right now, it doesn't seem like enough.  

Please.  I need to hear from people who were absolutely distraught over putting their pet down.  I don't know how to cope.  
champsmom

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Posts: 34
 #2 

Ashley I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Pagan..  We all cope in different ways.  The first few days and weeks can be unbearable.  I always had other dogs and cats in my home (when I lost a beloved pet), so I had to go on for them.  They needed me to be there to feed them , walk them etc.

Try to remember the Happy times with your beloved Pagan, that may help.  Set up a Memorial.  It may be too soon, but maybe consider bringing another pet into your home.

Everyone copes in different ways.  This will not be easy, but one day at a time and you’ll get through this.  We will all be here to listen and help.

pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #3 
Ashley,
I recently lost my Boston Terrier, Raider, and that is how I found this board. But years ago, I lost my sweet Sheltie, Rocky. With Raider, he passed and we had no decision to make. Rocky was another story. I was a teen and had him so long. He was precious and was my dog - yes the family dog, but mine mostly. Poor baby was getting worse and worse but I could still hardly stand the thought of having him put down. But ultimately I had to realize it was the most humane thing to do. As with you sweet cat, Pagan, Rocky might have had days, weeks, or months but they would have been miserable. Some comfort I am. I don’t want to sugar coat it though. It does hurt like crazy. But you love him, so you are giving him dignity and peace.

Come here as often as you need. Post pictures. Find support here.

Paula
Northernlitez

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Posts: 446
 #4 
Ashley


First, let me say I am soooo sorry for your great loss and the pain it brings. I know you loved your Pagen with all of yourself. I like so many on here, know the intense pain that comes with the loss, with great love there is always a great loss eventually. I have never delt well with this kind of loss. I believe for me it is the hardest when I finally make that stabbing decision to let one of my fur souls go on. I try to spend as much time as I can. The seconds are agony for me. I have not found a way around this, just the way it is for me. The comfort I get is knowing they will have no more pain and I know I will see them again. In time, I can think of them and our happy memories and smile more than I cry. I hope you are finding some peace and comfort today. Just know.....with time it will get easier when you think of your Pagen.  
Monique3305

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #5 
Oh Ashley,I am so very sorry for your pain ! 

I just had to put down my beloved Maltese, Jackson, just 2 weeks ago. He was suffering from cancer so I knew it was the right thing to do.

Because it is the right thing to do does not make it any easier !  I cry a LOT and I try to allow myself this time to heal in any way I can.

I pray time does heal for you and me ! Right now we have to grieve and slowly get better each day.  Hugs...

Deb
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