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Pitt_bull_mama

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Posts: 2
 #1 
Yesterday was truly one of the worst days of my life. My husband and I had four loving sweet pets. Scooby was my rescue from years before we met. He was the sweetest most gently boy 99% of the time. He gave the best snuggles and kisses. But on occasion (four times since I adopted him) he would snap I guess you could say. After an incident he would be so ashamed of his actions and try to apologize the best he could. I could tell he didn’t mean to that something would just switch in his brain. He never hurt a person but my Boston terroir Rascal was always the one that got hurt at least the first three times. After the last incident my mother suggested that if anything were to happen again that I put Scooby down. I agreed but didn’t think that I would ever have to act on it. My husband and I adopted a puppy and a kitten within the last few months and Scooby was getting along splendidly with everyone his was so gentle with the cat and him and Sherman (our puppy) would play for hours on end we never had an issue. But to always be on the safe side we would separate all of the animals when we left the house. Well when I left home yesterday to run some errands the cat must have figured out how to open the door to the room he was in and I came home to him dead on the kitchen floor. I was completely in shock it took my mother almost an to calm me down. Now I just found out that I am pregnant. We never ever worried about Scooby with the baby till yesterday. I made the incredibly difficult decision to have Scooby put down. We live in a town where Pitt bulls are illegal and so there was no shelter that I could take him to. And even if I did I don’t know that I could live with myself if he were to have hurt another again or a human. I feel like a monster. I feel like I have completely betrayed him. My family have repeatedly told me that it was the right thing to do but I still feel sick about the whole thing.
IRWS_mom

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Posts: 6
 #2 
I'm so sorry!  This had to tear you apart.  Such a tragedy, but you may have prevented a worse situation by this hindsight.  We never know what our fur babies will do.  I'm heart aches for you.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #3 

1st - i am so very sorry for your loss - making the decision is always heart breaking - and seems so much worse and even unfair when they are young and/or physically healthy. it is never easy - and i can only imagine how hard it has to be when they seem so healthy physically. But the sad truth is they are not healthy - mental illness is still illness.

 

The truth is your baby was sick - no, not a physical ailment that could be seen this time - but still sick. And as with some physical ailments, some mental ailments cannot be successfully treated. You set your baby free. Even when we free our beloved companions from catastrophic physical ailments like end stage cancer we often go through feeling that same way, it is normal. Guilt is very often the 1st steps on grief’s path, the what ifs and if onlys are simply our grief tormenting us. When we loose these precious souls why really doesn't matter - love is a shared bond and when that bond seems severed it hurts. But your baby will be with you always - free of the aggression they could not control - simply in a form you cannot see.

You gave your baby a safe place and you loved them - and you gave them a lifetime of love and care in their time with you then allowed a dignified good-bye allowing them to leave with dignity surrounded by love. You gave them chances where many would not. Please know you did try and in the end had no real choice - what were your baby's options? Life in a cage? Intervention 'on the spot' by the authorities when things got too out of control? Someone scarred and their death happening at the hands of someone trying to stop them? An end that likely would not have been with ones who love your baby or care if they is frightened? You gave your baby a wonderful life where elsewhere they may have known abuse, and gave them every chance you could and you tried to give them a home where they would be safe. When your baby passed to the hands of the angels it was be from love to love, they carried your baby to a place where they is free of the demons that made them aggressive and at that instant your baby understood that you acted out of love and compassion. Your baby is free and happy. Please know all you are feeling right now is normal and no matter what the circumstances is what we have all felt. i am so very sorry for your loss.

Know we are here for you and your family. Sadly, we have seen this tale before and we do understand and we know sometimes there is no choice.

When you can please share a photo. I feel certain there are so many wonderful memories with
your baby, and sharing those sometimes helps. And if you just need someone to sit by your side - well you now belong to a family that circles the globe. 

 

 


[silverrose-tears]

[gentleones_title]





It seemed the day was even grayer than even the greyest of days. The pup found she was suddenly at the edge of the most beautiful place she had ever seen. She could still feel Mom and Dad's tears, hear their sobs. "I'm so sorry Mom and Dad, I really did try but the demons are too strong and sometimes they pushed through." She lowered her head and began to walk away, to be sure she did not deserve to be someplace so lovely.

A radiant being in white suddenly stood in her path, surrounded by many other pups of all sizes and breeds. "Please," she implored, "I don't want to, but if you stay near me sooner or later the demons will win and I may hurt one of you. I don't want to hurt anyone, its best if I just go."

The radiant being just smiled at her - a soft compassionate smile, at that moment they reminded her of her Mom and Dad. "I let them down so many times, I didn't want the demons to win but sometimes they do. And I left them no choice, I let them down and hurt them yet again."

Hero, Seabreeze, Heather, Charlie, Molly, John, Stashie, Hershey, Samson, Morgan, Niko, Jordan, Timber, Dixie, Buddy, Tina, Snickers, Dizzy, Harley, Jack, Kimmi, Sammy, Fender, Tosca, Bruno, tried to gather around the newcommer but she backed away. Seabreeze stepped forward, "We won't hurt you little one." She looked to the radiant being and whimpered, "Please make them leave. I don't want to hurt anyone else."

Now the radiant being smiled and actually seemed amused. "Little One, reach within. Can you feel that? Can you feel the demons are gone?" The little one got quiet and after a moment looked up in amazement, "They ARE gone!!" Then she looked at the others around her, "But I've done so many bad things, I don't deserve nice friends. I don't deserve to be in such a wonderful place." Now the others all looked amused. Dizzy spoke up first, "We all felt that way at first." Slowly Dizzy's words filtered in. "You mean . . . ., I am not the only one?" she asked quietly.

Tina pushed to the front, "Of course not, all our humans had to make that same choice as yours. But now you're free - the demons are gone." The Little one thought on Tina's words. "What about Mom and Dad? Can I let them know I am free, that I'm sorry?"

At that moment all the others grew quiet, the Little One looked to the radient being and realized they were gone. She looked to the rest afraid their silence meant no. Just then a large silver wolf walked up to her, she knew she should fear a wolf, yet, somehow knew she could trust The Silver One. "Have you all finished monopolizing her time yet? If you are done she still needs to be shown the reflection pond, to be shown . . "

Just then the Little One heard a familiar sound, her Mom and Dad. "They are here?" she asked, and she followed the sound. She found herself by the clearest crystal pond, and when she looked into the pond she saw her Mom and Dad." Concentrate on them, Little One. Send your love and thanks to them - from your heart to theirs - and they will feel your love." the Silver One said gently. As she watched her Mom and Dad seemed to calm even thought they were still crying, and her Mom looked up at her Dad, "She is at peace now wrapped in our love."

The Little One looked at the Silver One and the others, "Thank You." The Silver One looked at the others and back at her, "You can see them anytime you wish from here. The others will show you how to send them your love, Little One."

(c) Candace 11/13/09

All too often people do not want to discuss this type loss, so those who experience making the decision due to aggression issues feel they are alone.

All the names of the other ones are real – Fur angels we have seen at PetLoss because their parents had to make that sad decision due to aggression issues. i am sure there are other names also - newer names and names I have accidentally left out.

We understand - know that you had no choice and we understand that you are in pain. But your fur child is with the other fur angels - free of the demons she fought against so hard.

 






The thing everyone needs to keep in mind is not every dog (or any other animal) that becomes aggressive was abused, and not every abused animal will become aggressive. There may also be an underlying factor, may be inbreeding, may be just bad luck in the breeding genetics, may be just the role of the proverbial dice. You can breed 2 animals that are the best of the best, who come from long lines of best of the best, and each offspring in a litter may be soooo different it is hard to believe they have the same parents, let alone that they are from the same litter. In a single litter you can have alphas, betas, and omegas, highly active pups and couch potatoes, super smart pups and pups who are - well they are sweet and lovable, and very social pups and pups whose minds just are not right. You do have to train and socialize pups, but some even trying the best techniques with will not socialize. Think of human children, some from bad homes (abuse and such) will go on to perpetuate the life they grew up in, but some will go on to great, productive, and wonderful lives, and some from wonderful homes who grow up knowing only love and opportunity grow up to be monsters or with demons they sometimes cannot control. All we can do with our children (be they human, furred, feathered, or scaly) is love them and do our best for and by them. And sadly sometimes that is not enough and all we can do is accept what is and love them. True, we can create monsters - but we can't always fix them.
Pitt_bull_mama

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #4 
Thank you for all the support. I’m slowly starting to accept it. And I know that he is in a better place. My biggest fear is that he thinks I betrayed him.
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