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tawanda

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Posts: 3
 #1 
4 months ago I lost my beautiful bulldog Ronaldo. That was his given name, but we just called him Pup. Pup was everything to me. My family would joke w me about how obsessed I was w him. Just one glance at was all it took to raise my endorphin level 50%! His life spanned the most hellish years of my life; I don’t know how I could have survived without him in my life. My children are grown, but my youngest is disabled so I’m not free to do much. Pup was nearly my sole companion. His death hit me HARD! He had congestive heart failure, so I had time to prepare mentally. He died in his sleep, free of pain. I’ll always be grateful for that. I knew at some point I would want another dog in my life, but I couldn’t imagine that being anytime soon. My grief over losing my boy was still way to fresh for that. But then I saw Oscar! For years I’d taken to perusing a local bulldog rescue site, just for the love of seeing who went from foster, to adoptable, then into loving forever homes. I’d marvel at the love and patience of the folks who take senior or terminally ill dogs into their homes, making hospice care their life’s work. So that’s what I was doing when I saw a picture of Oscar. After I read his bio, I knew we were destined for each other. I just KNEW he would be mine! Hardly believing what I was doing, I sent in an adoption application. The next day he went pending! I’d missed my chance! But still, in my heart, I felt he would be coming home with me. I checked 2x daily hoping against hope his placement would fall through. I even sent a second letter. The pending period is typically 2 weeks, and at day 13, I checked again and there was Oscar, back among the adoptables! All this time my daughter kept telling me, “Mom, you’re going to get him!” She told her very intuitive co-worker about the whole thing, and she was absolutely certain as well. The NEXT DAY, I got a text w a picture of Oscar and the words,”are you my new mommy?” written underneath! Long story long, I was chosen, out of 20 other families wanting him, I was SO EXCITED! But now that I’m scheduled to drive down to get him, I’m being hit by fresh feelings of overwhelming grief! I’m now questioning whether I’m jumping the gun getting him. Whether I’m far enough along in my grieving to bring a new dog into my life. I’m due for a home check tomorrow, and while I’d feel cruddy ‘backing out’ at this point, still if it’s not the right thing for me, then it’s mot the right thing for Oscar either. And I want to do the right thing, whatever that is. I felt from the moment I saw his picture we were meant to be together. I don’t want to pass up something that could be perfect, but I also don’t want to make a mistake. I’ve accepted Pups passing, at least I think I have. And I’m not looking to replace him, because that isn’t possible, and I wouldn’t want it even if it were. What we had is sacred to me. Any thoughts from those of you who have gone through anything similar?
SusanNRiley

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Posts: 11
 #2 
Sixteen years ago, my soul kitty Miles died. We had the closest bond and loved each other so much. I was completely devastated. I couldn't stop crying and missing him more than I could stand. A month later, I just missed him so much that I wanted another kitty in the house, even though it couldn't be him. I'd never gotten a new animal so soon after another's passing, and I doubted the wisdom of it. But I found Riley online and there was just something about him that instantly attracted me. So I went and got him. He was already two years old. He actually growled at me when I went to get him. He hid out when I brought him home, and it took awhile for him to trust me. But then he finally did, and he became my baby. Aside from both being tuxedo kitties, he and Miles could not have been more different. I still missed Miles every day. I cried about him into Riley's soft fur, which was a comfort to me. Now I'm back at Petloss because I had to put Riley to sleep after 16 years together. My heart is broken again. But I never ever regretted bringing Riley into my life for a second.

So I would say, if you connect with this new dog, don't be afraid to bring him home. He will never replace your Pup. Of course not. But you can still grieve and start building a new relationship at the same time. And he can be a comfort to you. And of course you will love him, which will not be a betrayal to your Pup. I'm sure Pup would want you to love again.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Pup.
tawanda

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Posts: 3
 #3 
Thank you, thank you for your very kind and thoughtful response. I’m sure you’re right. Somehow, getting another dog seems to acknowledge, without question, the finality of Pups passing, I think that’s whats being stirred. But the reality is that he is gone. Holding off getting another dog won’t bring Pup back to me. The door into Heaven swings only one way.
SusanNRiley

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Posts: 11
 #4 
I understand. And there is no rush to get someone new. But if you find someone you connect with, it would be a shame to miss out on them. Please let us know if you bring Oscar home and how it goes.
tawanda

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Posts: 3
 #5 
I’m taking the plunge! There are so many open doors and unexpected supports; I know this is meant to be. I’m driving down tomorrow to pick him up. Went crazy at Marshall’s buying dog toys and supplies! I feel like a here-to-fore childless protagonist in a movie who just learned they are adopting a kid the next day! 🙈
Libertydad

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Posts: 40
 #6 
Good for you.   My story is similar with a rescue from KY coming all the way to Canada. That was 3 months ago but to make a long story short, it was the best thing I could do for myself and absolutely the best move for the dog. Things were tough at first and I miss my little girl terribly, but I feel good about myself again and I have saved a life. Let me know how things work out.
SusanNRiley

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Posts: 11
 #7 
I'm so happy to hear that! And I am so excited for you. I can't wait to hear more about Oscar. :-)
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