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InMemoryOfRascal

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Posts: 2,440
 #1 

My sweet little Rascal.  It hit me that a week ago tonight you and I were down here spending the evening together.  You were laying here sprawled on the couch next to me.  When I talked to you, your ears would twitch you'd lazily open your eyes and give a quick meow.  I layed down with you for a while and had my head on your side and listened to you just purr.  Like I always did, I rubbed your ears and you would "shove" you face into the palm of my hand.  I was so happy just to be with you.  I told you then like I did everytime I reached out to you and listened to you purr how much I love you.  Told you how sweet you are and that you are mama's baby girl.

 

Hard to believe that in a matter of hours my world would shatter when I woke up to your painfilled cry.  As I tried to figure out where you were I kept calling out to you, you would answer me back, I told you I was coming.  I found you here downstairs.  You were unable to move and I knew something was horribly wrong.  I raced to get you to the vet.  I didn't want to put you in your carrier because I wasn't sure where the pain was and thought it could make it worse.  I put the down blanket from our bed (yes ours becaused you owned it as much as me...in fact, I usually got to sleep where ever you had not selected already!).  I took the robe I was wearing before I changed and wrapped you in it.  I told you that I was going to take you to make it better.  I told you that you had to trust me and stay in the basket.  I wasn't sure if you could do that.  You were always so petrified of being outside; in the car; around anyone else....but you stayed in that basket throughout the drive.  My little girl I got you to that vet in record time, petting you with one hand and driving with the other.  Telling you I loved you and how sorry I was that you were suffering.

 

I am so glad that we had a great evening and spent those hours with each other.  Each and every day of your life I loved you and am so blessed that you are a part of it.  You were there when I bought my first home (that was why I was able to adopt you and your brother cause I could finally have a pet again.  I actually "cheated" and adopted you two a couple of weeks before I moved into my new place.)  You were there for the past 10 years when I was happy and when I was sad....but never so sad as I am right now without you my baby girl. 

 

I know that you are healthy and not in pain.  Wait for me my little Rascal and I look forward to seeing you again.  If you have a moment in your life playing and laying in the sunshine, come visit.  You are always welcome.  You own a place in my heart that will never be filled - because it already is with you.  I love you my little Rascal. 

Andyvon

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Posts: 1,658
 #2 
I hope you get a sweet dream visit from your Rascal real soon. And may you find comfort in that you loved your Rascal all you could. And one day, you'll once again be able to love your Rascal all you can. 
shawnmariedl

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Posts: 43
 #3 

I am so very sorry!

susmitagupta

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Posts: 96
 #4 
i am so sorry for this cute cat.. 
actually what had happened to ur cat? what did the vet said to u?
judesmom

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Posts: 1,901
 #5 
i love the look on rascal's face.   it has such a 'stinkerish' quality that i can see why you named her rascal.    it's almost as if she is saying, 'oh, hello. what can i get into now?'

your letter was to your furry friend was very heart felt and filled with love.   i know that your world is shattered and that rascal took a piece of your heart with her when she ran off to the bridge.   in it's place she left you a piece of hers.    one sweet day you two will be able to exchange those pieces and continue on with your next journey together.

thank you for sharing that darilng picture.

JudeTortieWolf
InMemoryOfRascal

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Posts: 2,440
 #6 

Yes, my Rascal could be quite the stinker - especially to her brother.  She was always starting something.  They were so bonded!  This morning was hard for me.  Tried to stay as busy as possible to try to keep my mind from going back to last Monday morning.

 

This was a picture of my Rascal taken over the summer.  She loved laying there in the sunshine looking out.  (In fact, that is why the ottoman is there because she and her brother like to lay in the sun and look out the window....so what else could I do but leave it there in front of the window for them?!)

 

I want to think that she is laying in the sunshine soaking everything up now; that she is happy; and knows that I love her.  Enjoy the sun my baby girl.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #7 
Your Rascal is adorable!  It sounds like the two of you spent a lot of quality time together and that is so sweet.  I am very sorry your precious little girl has moved on.  Losing someone who truly means the world to you is so painful.  My heart goes out to you.

Mare-wolf
precious Christoph ~ my sweet bunny ~

Millard

Registered:
Posts: 268
 #8 

I am so sorry for your loss. But even with our losses we gained the experience of unconditional love from our babies. That is one of the reasons it is so hard to accept their leaving us. But one day we will be with them again. And what a joy that will be. I will be praying for you.

  Millard

judesmom

Registered:
Posts: 1,901
 #9 
that is a lovely thought to envision your rascal soaking up the sunshine  at the bridge.  heaven is beyond what we can conceive of as perfect.    there are so many delights and surprises there for our babies that they always have fun and when it's time to relax and have a good snooze........well the sun shines brighter and warmer there than any other place.   and i do believe that my jude was more than happy to introduce rascal to the wonders of the catnip field at the bridge that all of the kitties enjoy so much.     mmmmm.......heaven grown catnip.   doesn't get any better than that, you know.

one thing that i have found that helps me in the very early and dark days after one of my babies has run off to the bridge is to immerse myself in animal related books.     with jude and after visiting this site i read 2 books that have been mentioned very frequently here........

cold noses at the pearly gates by gary kurz
animals and the afterlife by kim sheridan

both were helpful and i especially enjoyed the afterlife book.    you may want to check them out at amazon and see if those would be something you would be interested in reading.

i have also read james herriotts wonderful books...........all creatures great and small, all things bright and beautiful, etc.....     those are wonderful books and the stories are short.   he is a natual born story teller and the vast majority of the stories are not only heart warming but also have a good sense of fun and humor to them.

also those great chicken soup for the soul books have books just for cat lovers as well as dog lovers and animals lovers, too.   those are also very heart warming.

it is good to keep your mind a bit active and not to dwell and beat yourself up with guilt.     just do whatever feels right to you at the moment..........cry when you feel like it, laugh when you feel like it, go see a movie, go to a favorite restaurant, go into your kitchen and throw your pots and pans around, eat an entire sara lee cheesecake all by yoursef..............anything is permissible and normal at this point.     maybe you might want to consider getting rambo some special new toys that he would enjoy and that you would also enjoy playing with him.    that may help to bring a little bit of sunshine into both of your lives. 

keep going through your pictures and savor all the love and feeling that flows from them into your heart.     it is indeed true that our furbabies who now reside at the bridge are with us far more often then we are aware of.    i hope that very soon for you that you either get a good sign from rascal or a dream visit where you can see her in all of her heavenly splendor now and know that she is doing just fine.  i know that would do your heart an enormous of good.   

JudeTortieWolf
InMemoryOfRascal

Registered:
Posts: 2,440
 #10 

JudeTortieWolf - I will defintely check those books out.  I have worked to stay busy.  Early mornings and late nights are still a bit hard.  It still takes me quite a bit longer to fall asleep without my Rascal next to me.  Her brother, Rambo, is settling down a bit.  For the most part he seems to be doing o'k.  The only time that I still believe he is thinking about her is when we are settled in for the night.  He is up on the top of the cat tree and he spends a good 10 minutes just staring intently down the hall...I think he is waiting for her to join us.  After that he settles down and starts his nightime ritual of settling in.

 

I wouldn't say it is easier today than last week; but I am doing a better job of starting to put the guilt aside.  I thank you and everyone on this board that has taken the time out of their lives to share your kindness, compassion and wisdom with me.  This site has helped me immensely; it has been what I reach out to when I needed someone to listen and understand how hard this is for me. 

 

As I continue through this process I hope that I will be able to help someone else as much as you all have helped me....and continue to help me. 

 

Thank you.

InMemoryOfRascal - she is NEVER forgotten; always loved.

InMemoryOfRascal

Registered:
Posts: 2,440
 #11 
6 years ago today is when I lost my Rascal.  It is so hard to believe that "so much" time has passed and yet it still seems like it was a moment ago.  So many changes since you left us....you helped find Edie & Pixie for our family; we moved across country; your brother joined you 2 yrs ago..a lot.

But not a day goes by that I don't think of you, you will always be mama's girl.  My sweetness.  I still look at Edie and sometimes "see" your eyes.  I tell her that you are her fairy godmother that knew she would be perfect for us.  You knew that she would LOVE your brother.  

The pain of losing you was more than I ever thought possible; those early days/weeks/months it was so hard to believe that I could make it another moment without you.  That a day would ultimately come that I could think of you and smile without breaking into tears.  You knew though...you knew that this board would be a lifeline for me and it was.  So today I come here to tell you thank you.  I love you my sweet girl, forever.  I miss you forever.  And I know that I am a better person because of you.  Thank you for being my girl.  Thank you for loving me and trusting me.  Thank you for continuing to watch over me and making sure that I am o'k.

And I thank Ed and everyone here who helped me through one of the toughest times of my life.

InMemoryOfRascal...and Rambo

InMemoryOfRascal

Registered:
Posts: 2,440
 #12 
My Rascal - so hard to believe that it has been 7 years.  7 years without you here.  I still think of you often and miss you every day.  I spent time this week going back through pics of you; watching the amazing video that Andy made for you.  Definitely made me smile and made my heart happy.  Each of those pics brings a memory of YOU - and the love that we shared.

In those early days/weeks...even months, although people here told me it would get "better" and I held onto that promise because I needed something to help me get through - I don't know that I believed them deep down.  But they were right.  It will never ever be better without you.  Never.  Not a day goes by that I don't miss you.  But now I can remember our life together with smiles.  You sweet girl will always be most special.  I will forever be humbled that you loved and trusted only me.  

7 years.  Your brother Rambo is back with you now.  Thank you for encouraging him to stay with me after you left.  I know how much he missed you and didn't want to be without you.  I know you helped him stay; and helped him fight those extra 11 months after he had his health issues.  You knew how every single moment would be priceless to me.  The two of you...you were my first real babies.  I bought my first condo and you two were there from the beginning.  We "grew up" together.  You both made me so darn happy.  

My sweetness.  I miss you so much.  But more than anything I am plain thankful that you were mine!  Thankful that you helped find the "terrible twosome" to join the family.  They will be turning 7 soon.  Edie - her eyes and the look in them at times - still reminds me of you.  I tell her that you are her fairy godmother.  And oh how she loved your brother Rambo.  It was so darn sweet.  Pixie is a spunky thing - like you.  Did you see her giving the pet resort grief a couple of months ago?!  Of course YOU would have had them fleeing from the room in tears LOL - she just had them dodging and jumping from her trying to smack them.  

I love you forever.  Miss you more.  
Your mama
InMemoryOfRascal...and Rambo
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