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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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Posts: 1
I'm glad I found this website because I really don't know how to cope with this.

Hi, my name is Juliana, and I have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Multifocal Atrial Tachycardia (a heart disorder), and CREST Scleroderma (an autoimmune disease).  I have grown up with severe abuse, have seen therapists for over a decade, and take over 10 medications on a daily basis.  I'm 27.

Approximately 4 years ago, I started taking in kittens from the neighborhood I lived in, despite my severe allergy to them.  I've always loved cats, and since I thought I was beyond hope, at least I could spend my remaining time on Earth loving kitties that no one else would love because they were too sick like me.  9 have died in my care.  4 are left.  One has chronic pneumonia, one has a low blood cell count, one is too skinny from undereating, and one chews himself until he bleeds.  I love every single one of them dearly, but I'm well enough now to see that I'm simply incapable of giving care to another creature.  I've decided to not have children for this reason.

I want them to have a better life than what I can give them, but I'm horrified at the prospect of them being put down because of their chronic illnesses or deteriorating in a shelter.  I'm terrified of their hearts breaking because they can't understand why mommy wouldn't want them, meowing after me as I turn my back on them.  No one I know will take them in.  I don't know if they will ever find a forever home.  I keep avoiding calling the no-kill shelter despite needing to move out in a week.  I'm petrified for them and absolutely crushed and I can't stop crying.  I don't know how to do this.  I need help.

Posts: 123
I feel Your despair .. good of You to reach out to the Forum in the hopes of answers to your specific queries. Try contacting a ''SAFE HAVEN" for cats in your locale. Call your local SPCA and ask where there is such a Foundation for your situation. Another suggestion is call a few Vets and ask around if they know of a safe haven. Your heart is in the right place. Go forward and reach out, all done in the name of Love for the remaining flock. With every good wish for You. Please take care.                               Sherry/PerryRIP
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