February 19, 2014. Tuffy , it was your last day on this Earth. It was the worst day of my life. The worst time of my life. Soul crushing physical pain. You passed 11 months after my Mom, who passed 10 months after my Dad. So I was no stranger to grief and loss, and both losses were my worst until you ..
You were my heart dog. I knew losing you would be hard, but it was much harder than imagined. So totally worth it! The price we pay for love is grief.
You taught me so much, unconditional love and automatic forgiveness. I miss you daily, having you wake me up to chase a ball, or remind me it is almost 5am and time for our walk ... (hmm, I still miss you lol).
So many words I have spoken and written to you and about you, and so many tears I've shed. A wonderful surprise was that I did get some new memories even after you passed. Memories of your so real visits in my dreams. It would be nice to have one again, but I understand the need isn't there any more .. I survived and learned to love another pup or two. tell Mom "Tuffy would give his life for me."
I loved Toby with all my heart, and love Ellie and Missy with all my heart. But you were my first, you picked me to be your Dad! That was a great honour and I did the best I could for you every day of our wonderful 13 years and 10 months together. It's never enough, but it was a blessing to be together that long. And it ain't over yet .. we will meet again and the tears will flow as they often have these past years.
Love never dies and your passing did not truly separate us. Spirits linke together through eterning, and love. Until we meet again my number one Son!
Take good care of Toby. My posse, Tuffy and Toby.
Love you little buddy, always and forever. Until we meet again.