Registered: 1516567061 Posts: 1
Last month, I had to have my darling foxy, Ladybug euthanased, she was 17 and had dementia but we seem to have an understanding and I cared for her in a way that most people wouldn't be able to because I work from home I could always be on hand to assist her, and it was my privilege to do it for her as she was just the most amazing dog, a bit goofy, always tender (with me :)) and so devoted and sweet. I'd been sick in bed with pneumonia and her and I and my sweet little princess Bonnie (my mini daschund) cuddled and watch movies and series in bed while I recoved. The first day I felt better I went to visit a friend who's birthday party I'd missed and I decided as I often did to leave the girls inside as it looked like rain and was quite chilly. I returned home to a nightmare, Ladybug had tried to get between the security gate and the door and panicked and had twisted so violently she broke her spine. She was lying there in a heap in her urine and feaces and blood, I was hysterical! I phoned my friends and my brother and we took her to the vet - her back legs were paralysed and she had to be euthanased. I have been crushed since that day - I find it difficult to talk to anyone (I think most people don't care that much as it was just a dog to them) I just don't feel like I'm being heard or listened to when I try, so I pretend I'm okay around them and fall apart at home. If this wasn't enough for my heart to deal with, I had to rush Bonnie to the vet in the early hours of today as she wasn't breathing properly - the vet found a parasite that takes up residence in the esophagus but goes through the aorter artery to do this (I may have some details wrong - I was stunned at the time to see this dreadful thing inside my baby) - it does damage to the heart (she had being diagnosed with CHF last year but we were managing it pretty well and it seemed like she'd be around for a longish time still) and it's blocking (and enlarging) the esophagus about 3/4. The esophagal mass with this parasite in it and all the eggs is the same size as her heart - I walked out of the radiology room and sobbed - I didn't need to be a vet to know how bad this is. The vet can't operate (he wanted to as first choice) as her heart due to the CHF won't survive the anesthetic, and apparently success in trying to kill the parasite with meds is quite poor (althought the one vet really wants to give treatment over the next six weeks a try because she's so happy and enjoy quality of life - even while she was at the vet under all this distress she was wagging her little tail - she's such a little trooper this one :) )- (the other rather tactless vet blurted out "it's a death sentence" apparently the growth at this size is generally cancerous or it grows so large and obstructs the esophagus completely and we can't remove it - or there is the other horrendous way that dogs with this disease die, the weakened aorter ruptures and she suffers a major hemorrhage and dies within minutes).... I'm awake at 11.44 pm watching her sleep, wondering if I go to sleep will she be here tomorrow?
Registered: 1158205770 Posts: 840
I am so very sorry for your suffering. Finding Ladybug in such pain and then her euthanization was such a horrible experience for you. Poor little girl. How blessed you both were to be able to share so much time together. And now your little Bonnie so ill, I pray the meds can help her. Your sleepless nights I understand all too well, having done the same many times. I will be praying for you and your sweet girl. I know it is difficult for many people to understand your pain. Many people think "it's just a dog" but that is not true. They are loving, faithful little people in furry coats with so many of the same emotions we have. I hope you will come here whenever you feel the need for comfort and support. All of us understand your pain and are here for you.
Registered: 1158901198 Posts: 46
I am so very sorry and my heart breaks for you. We had to put our girl down recently as well but certainly nothing as traumatic as that. I wish I had words to help but there really aren't. Regardless of whether you were home or not, her time had come and hoping that with the dementia, she really didn't comprehend everything.
As for your other baby, I pray for both of you!