Registered: 1531548311 Posts: 1
I had to put my very loved Ronnie to sleep on Wednesday. I am heartbroken & wracked with guilt. I haven't been able to stop crying since he passed. I got him & his brother when they were 13 weeks old. They were both really poorly on & off over the years & spent a lot of time at the vet school. His brother was diagnosed with a tumour on his brain in 2013. Despite being on 18 tablets a day we nursed him for a year. He had epileptic fits weekly & was very very ill. We never gave up on him. However he died a very painful frightening death in 2014. We we're on holiday & didn't get the chance to say goodbye. This time my other poor boy Ronnie had been under the weather but we put it down to the heat. I took him to the vet on Wednesday, they found a massive tumour next to his liver/kidney. I was offered pallatable treatment. The vet had nothing positive to say about this illness. Once I took him home he deteriorated very quickly. He was hiding in the most unusual places. Couldn't get the strength to stand at his water bowl & had diaorreaha.all within 12 hours. I couldn't bear the thought of my special baby going through months of treatment like his brother only for it to end very badly. I didn't get or take the chance to try the treatment. Now I'm full of what ifs. Why didn't I fight harder for my baby. Why did I give up so soon. I can hardly live with myself. I was a great mum but I let my poor boy down badly....I should have exhausted all avenues but was frightened & scared. Oh to have the time back to do things differently. Sliding doors....
Registered: 1530548599 Posts: 9
I m so sorry about your loving Ronnie. I can tell that you loved him and his brother very deeply. You dedicated time and special care to both of them. I think it is so wonderful how you loved and took care of your dogs. I lost my Angel on June 1. We tried for the longest time to let her go "peacefully" at home. She would have really good days and then the bad days became more than the good days. I have the what ifs too. But I think about should we have let her go sooner. We really didnt see her suffering until that day. I was almost out of my mind with grief. Yesterday I read these words that have given me comfort and I thought I would share them with you: "Grief is the price we pay for love. So, if what you are feeling right now is sadness, know that I share in your sadness and that it comes from having loved and been loved so deeply." I loved Angel so much and I would gladly pay the price to have loved and been loved deeply by my dog. I have never experienced anything like having a dog in my life for almost 15 years. I miss her very very much. You made a choice that you believed would be the best for Ronnie. I think Ronnie knows you loved him and would agree. I believe that you will be together again someday. Denyse