Registered: 1276822789 Posts: 66
Next week will be 6 months since I lost my baby. I can't believe, after five and a half years with that precious little guy as the center of my world, he has been gone this long. 6 long months since I've held him and kissed him and told him I love him. I still remember that morning so well. Holding him on my lap as we drove to the vet, looking down at him and telling him how much I loved him. And then laughing at him at the vet office because he was trying to run under their desk, checking things out, and then going to the door. How I wish I would've just walked out of there with him and changed my mind. I can't count the times I wish I would've had a car accident that morning so he wouldn't have had to go there. And this never would've happened. I just miss him so much. I love our other dogs. Rudy is my old man, my constant. And Dori is so much fun and I love her. But it was different with Cooper. I don't think I'll ever have that love again. I'd give anything to feel that for just a moment. I'm afraid I'm forgetting things about him. I can't remember his bark. But I can't bring myself to watch videos or look at pictures. It's still too hard. I just miss that sweet little face so much. His black eyes and pink nose, his long white tail and pink belly, his tiny little feet and silky white hair. I don't know how I'll ever be ok with this. I still can't believe this has happened.
Registered: 1279850525 Posts: 282
:( I can't believe it either. I am so sorry for what you've gone through and sad that a vet would be so negligent. I read your earlier posts about your guilt and I hope that the guilt has left you. You were absolutely not at fault in any way. But I hope the vet felt guilty, if only so that he learned to be more careful; not that that helps you. Life just isn't fair sometimes. My Cappie was only 4 when he passed. I blamed myself because I chose a vet that we'd seen a couple of times while overlooking a brilliant new vet who everyone was raving about. I avoided her because she was very young. The vet I chose misdiagnosed Cappie and then he died 5 days later. Now I take my 10 yr old dog to the young vet and she really is brilliant. I feel so much guilt about that. I don't know if we can be o.k without closure. And it's tough to get closure when there are so many unanswered questions. I don't know if you're religious but I have prayed for acceptance in the past and it's been granted to me. When my Dad died I prayed to accept the situation and I was able to cope very well. Cappie, like Cooper used to bounce all over the house. Let's try to put that bounce in our own step.
Registered: 1271859354 Posts: 214
I'm so sorry about your loss and that you feel sad and miss Cooper.
Your words could be mine. Sashimi's gone for 6 months and I still cry for her. The center of our lives. How can it be gone? How are we supposed to carry on? But the truth is.. we do. Just yesterday before sleep I thought of Sashimi and her warm spotted belly and the way she loved and let me clean up her ears. It brought a smile to my face. A bitter sweet one but nevertheless a smile. Just like the one you felt remembering Cooper trying to hide under the desk and the memory of his sweet face. You loved him very much and he absolutely knew that. And he loved you just as much. And you'll never forget that, and that is the most important thing to remember. *
Registered: 1219887733 Posts: 11,059
Six months without your precious boy, Cooper. How can time move on without our little ones? Life is too different and difficult without our sweet babies. Everything feels a little off without them in our daily lives. I hope you will find peace as you move through the grieving process.
Mare precious Christoph ~ sweet bunny boy ~
Registered: 1272934724 Posts: 308
alot of us are on the same time frame..me its 6 and half months. I totally understand the thought of never having another feeling like we did with our boys. I love my others so much, but Lenny was different. I often think about your boy .. i just took my cat into have tumors removed and when everyone says "oh they will be fine" i remember your sad story. For whatever reasons we cant see right now we have to live life with out them..and hopefully knowing they will be with us forever gets us thru. Sometimes Id do about anything for just a moment again. most days the tears dont stop.. i still cant to believe hes gone. And everysecond I want him back.. so i do understand. Please try to think of it as 6 months closer to being with him again.