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nnjnk3

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Posts: 121
 #1 
[emmah]  My sweet girl Emma
I lost my cat Emma on 7-19-18 to congestive heart failure; she was 13 years old.  She had problems with her right eye for years and then within the last 6 months it had developed into a mass.  She was otherwise, a really healthy kitty.  I took her to a specialist and had her eye removed.  Turns out, it was Lymphoma (a type of cancer) however, prior testing showed no evidence of it anywhere else in her body.  After the surgery (Enucleation) she was doing very well.  On the 9th day, I noticed she was having difficulty breathing, so I called her eye surgeon.  He had me watch her, give her one of her pain medications, and see how she did.  He thought it may be surgical pain causing some anxiety.  She improved some, but then started open-mouth breathing a few hours later.  We rushed her to the emergency vet.  They put her in oxygen and started her on Lasix (diuretic.)  Lasix removes fluid from the lungs which helps them to breathe.   After some testing, they diagnosed her with congestive heart failure.  Congestive heart failure is not curable, only treatable with medications.  They also put her on 2 heart medications.  She stayed there for a day and a half, and then was doing very well, so we brought her home on Monday July 16th.  We were giving her 2 different meds twice a day, and the one med, one time a day.  Again, she was still doing great. 

July 18th was a gorgeous day, so I let her outside.  She walked around and sunned for a while.  She would go to different areas of the yard, sit and rest, and listen to the birds.  It made me so happy to see her enjoying the outdoors again.  The following morning, July 19th, I gave her her morning medications she ate really well, and appeared to be fine.  I came home from work 7 hrs later to find her struggling to breathe in the hallway and she was crying....I was so scared.....  I quickly reacted, called her regular veterinarian and drove as fast as I could to get here there.  They rushed her into the back to try and help her, but as they were trying to save her, her little heart just gave up.  I'll never forget that moment when her doc came in the room and said "I"m so sorry, Emma didn't make it....."  I was devastated and I'm still devastated.

This will be my third time here for grief support.  My cat Socks, and my cat Toby, also passed within the last few years.  I know I need to let myself grieve, and to grieve for as long as I need to....  I'm hurting.....and I have an empty feeling inside.  The guilt I'm feeling is thinking that if I would have never put her through the eye surgery, that caused stress on her heart, she would still be with us right now......or if I would have stayed home that Monday, I could have gotten to her sooner.  It hurts my heart to think that she might have suffered before I got to her..... :( 

Emma girl, you sure did leave a big paw print on my heart, and I will be forever grateful for our time together. Run free at the bridge my sweet girl.  I hope that you've already found Socks and Toby.  Give them lots of love for me.

Nichole, Emma's momma =^..^=
ourbrandy

Registered:
Posts: 1,010
 #2 
Dear Nichole:

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet girl, Emma.  What a beautiful girl she is...

Please don't feel that in any way you hastened her death.  You did what was best for her and her little heart might have given out anyway.  She only knew love when she was with you.  Hold onto that thought.

Sending you comforting thoughts and prayers,

Barb (Angel Brandy's and Angel Miriam's mom)
~forever~
nnjnk3

Registered:
Posts: 121
 #3 
Barb,

Thank you for your kind words, they really mean a lot to me.  She was such a beautiful little girl.  Today is her 1 week bridge day.  I hope she's having a good time there with all the fur babies.  I'm sorry for your losses too, Brandy and Miriam.

Take care.

Nichole
Emma's momma =^..^=
Northernlitez

Registered:
Posts: 446
 #4 
Nichole.......I am sooo sorry for the loss of your beautiful Emma. She is such a beauty. I know so well the pain and all the what if's you are going through. Emma new she was loved and you did what you thought was best for her because you love her so much. That's all any of us can do. I hope your pain has eased a little and Emma's memory brings a smile to your face. Sending wishes for peace and comfort in knowing Emma was so blessed to be so loved.
goofygirlinva

Registered:
Posts: 1,191
 #5 
Nicole, I am so sorry Emma has passed away. What a beautiful girl she is - you can clearly see the love she has for you in the picture you posted!

Please do not put yourself through the pain of the what ifs. You did what you thought best for Emma with the surgery, and you did it out of love and hope that it would make her whole again. You are not a veterinarian, and you trusted the wisdom and advice you received. There is no way you could not have predicted how she reacted to the surgery and you could not have foreseen what was about to happen. 

I know losing a beloved friend is incredibly painful and it is a sorrow that will last for a very long time. I hope that as you go through your grief process you will eventually be able to look back on the life you and Emma shared and smile from your heart as you remember the wonderful times and the love you shared...

Hugs...

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom

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