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bossy111

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Posts: 5
 #1 
Hi Animal lovers
I am so sad at losing my 5 1/2 year old boy to pancreatitis i am so gutted with all the what ifs it happened so suddenly i am collecting him today from the vets to bury him in my garden i have lost 3 dogs in the last 18 years  it does not get any easier 
I am riddled with guilt and sorrow keep thinking i should have took him to the vet sooner he ate a small piece of chocolate what my nephew dropped by accident not the first time I did not think no more of it until it was to late 
just feel guilty its helping putting it into words 
my other dog seems  so lonely now i cant stop crying my kids are choked up 
just hope time will help 
I was to busy wallowing in my own self pity as i have had no work for months as i have slipped a disc in my back and my mum was taken into hospital at the same time i took my eye off the ball for a short time and feel like its my fault
Nick
Lynnsa

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Posts: 63
 #2 
Oh Nick I’m so sorry for your loss of Bossy. This is exactly how my dog max died on 1 April and I had no idea he was seriously ill until good Friday. He had diarrhoea on and off and had been to vets twice - they kept him in Easter Saturday and he died the next day. It is devastating and I am still crying as I write this. I nearly drove myself insane over the cause. Max was a scavenger as he had been a street dog - he had been kicked by a horrible man recently, he stole some pate off a plate at Xmas, he always ate nasty stuff off beach - ages ago he ate sausage with some cocktail stick in we think - and I had to come to the painful conclusion it was just his time to go like Bossy. It's just awful and my other dog bella has been pining too. We will get through this but it's just time - I still feel as wretched today as I did back then. It is just such a shocking cruel way to lose a healthy dog - I found writing to him helped a little but it's very difficult to come to terms with. I'm so sorry for you too xxx
bossy111

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Posts: 5
 #3 
Thank you for you kind words it helps 
I feel like i let him down badly 
Lynnsa

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Posts: 63
 #4 
I feel exactly the same - I nearly drove myself mad with what ifs .... I think dogs hide their illnesses very well until they can't. I'm so sorry as I know exactly how dreadful you feel and I'm so sorry. The following helped me too

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference."
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #5 
Dearest Nick,
As with Max and Bossy I lost my soul mate over 17 years ago to same dreadful thing. He too ate something he shouldn't have and I too didn't think nothing of it. He was just 6 years old. That loss is what brought me here 17 years ago. Dakota was my soul mate and like you I did beat myself up over it. I don't think I have ever gotten over it to this day. Yes the pain did lessen but I still have the guilt. Give it time and it will lessen and not be so raw. I don't feel you let him down and like Max and Dakota it was their time. I know it doesn't make it any easier but try not to beat yourself up. Honor Max's memory  by remembering the journey you shared with him.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
bossy111

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Posts: 5
 #6 
I hope it gets easier this forum is a great help i am heart broken 
Lynnsa

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Posts: 63
 #7 
Me too - I’ve lost my best mate and he was such a character too - it leaves a huge whole in your heart. We never get over it I don’t think but it does get easier with time - but it’s early days for you and I. I lost my 15 year old in 2009 and I was heartbroken for a long long time but now I can smile when I think of her. We lost out dogs unexpectedly so think this is very very difficult. Thinking of you xxx
bossy111

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #8 
Lynnsa i have lost 2 dogs also in 2012 and 2001 it seems like this one has hurt the most he was there wherever i turned i think it was so sudden thats what has shocked me so much time will help i hope your heart heals like mine will in time thanks for the support i appreciate it
Lynnsa

Registered:
Posts: 63
 #9 
No worries - this board really helps too
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