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redpom

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Posts: 1
 #1 
[loquito] 
We said goodbye to our darling 2 year old burmese Loquito yesterday.  We had only been out of bed 1/2 an hour and he had climbed up onto the roof of our house as he often does.  He was making loud stomping noises but we thought he had caught a bird.  Half an hour later my husband went up the stairs and saw him lying on the ground.  He was looking at him and howling in pain.  When he picked him up his hind legs weren't working and he was writhing and howling.  We think he dragged himself to the edge of the roof and tried to jump off onto the fence as per normal and fell off onto the ground as his back legs didn't work.  We rushed him to the emergency vet about 20 minutes away who told us he had saddle thrombus and little hope of survival.  He was the strongest and most energetic cat we had ever had and was only 2.  He was given morphine for the pain and even though we were given little to no hope decided that we had to give him a chance and caught a ferry and then a taxi (1 hour journey) to the specialist emergency centre.  After 10 minutes they gave him stronger medication and confirmed the diagnosis and said that his back legs had no pulse or blood flow and that his survival was very unlikely and very painful.  He was so alert and kept trying to move off the table by dragging his legs.  We couldn't bring ourselves to say goodbye then and asked that they give him treatments overnight so we could see how he responded - we hoped that the blood clot would disappear with his meds and that he would be young and strong enough to survive and recover.  That night after a long journey home (to get our elderly 18 year old cat in as we had left him out in the cold and rain and dark in our haste to get Loquito the the vets) we got a call to say that they had done a heart scan and he had a massively inflated heart which was diseased and was throwing out clots.  We were going to go back on the last ferry (midnight) and say goodbye to him as we decided that we didn't want to prolong it or make him suffer but mentally we weren't ready to make that decision and they said that his pain was under control and he was comfortable.  Overnight he deteriorated rapidly and when we got back there as early as possible the next morning he had been given really strong meds as he had huge potassium being released from his back legs into his bloodstream and a very slow pulse and blood flow.   He looked completely spaced out and barely recognised us, just led there with his eyes half open, not moving whilst on a drip of painkillers.  We cradled him for two hours - whilst we talked to him and stroked him and then held him whilst they sent him to sleep.  I have no idea if he knew we were there but I am traumatised by the thought that we should have made the decision earlier - either the night before or earlier that morning and that he had unnecessary suffering.  It was selfish of us to keep him so long but we were in such shock with everything happening so fast and the fact he was so young with nothing showing up previously.   We just wanted him to know that he was loved and that we were going to miss him so much.  The worse thing was the pain he was in on the way to the vets and the screams which I don't think I'll ever unhear but also the look in his eyes of confusion as to what was happening and then since then just the fact that our house is empty without him - he talked constantly and demanded attention or cuddles all the time.  The fact that he no longer curls up with me in bed or on the sofa is the worst thing - I never realised how I constantly am aware of him as he was usually under feet constantly or hiding ready to ambush us - so many little decisions were made constantly with him in mind.  We got a ticket for parking illegally when we abandoned the car to enable us to catch the ferry and we left the house opened up but didn't get burgled, and we only had one bank card and one phone between us with no jumpers, jackets or socks in the middle of Winter so we did what we could to get him care.  I just hope that he knew that we loved him unconditionally and did our best to make decisions even if they were wrong.  We wouldn't not have him in our life if we had the choice again as he brought such joy and laughter and love which massively outweighed the short time he was with us.    He actually died 2 years to the day when we got him.  We have both been either out of work or working from home for the last 6 months and so have spent a lot of time with him which I count as a blessing now and was meant to be I think.  Loquito was our 6th cat and I just wish there was a way of testing for this early as I don't want to have to go through this again.....for their same or ours.  Just the worst experience of our lifes
twinkiesmom

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Posts: 837
 #2 
I am so sorry for your terrible loss of Loquito. I know how much it hurts seeing a loved one in such horrible pain. He was a happy cat surrounded by love and he knows you did everything you could possibly do for him to help him have a good life. I recently lost my 2 and 1/2 year old kitty and you have my deepest sympathy.
Simon8

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Posts: 1
 #3 
Dear red Pom br />I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful boy. I had a similar story to yours as well. I had to lay my beautiful tuxedo boy to rest 5 months ago, due to saddle thrombus as well. He was only 8 years old. I had rescued him at 4 years old, and we had a beautiful four years together. I had to lay him to rest the night before his birthday, which is the day before I had bought him home from the rescue. Similar to your story as well. He was in good health when I left to work, running, playing, and eating and drinking. When I came home from work he was under the couch screaming in pain, his back legs were paralyzed. I rushed him to the vet then to the emergency room, and you know the rest. He had saddle thrombus and his little heart was shutting down. It was one of the worst days of my life. He was such a beautiful boy, we had such a beautiful Bond. I am so thankful he was a part of my life. My heart goes out to you. The grief and pain get better as time goes on. The first few months I could not eat or sleep, It has been 5 months and I still do cry everyday, but the joyous memories are fonder now. Peace and hugs to you.
KATACASH

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Posts: 1
 #4 
Frodo's dad,
I read yours first, but all of the stories seem to end the same. For those of you who questioned your immediate decision. I am at home with my precious Titan. It has been more than 24 hours, one heparin shot, one aspirin, I am using a dropper to make him take water and kitten formula just to hydrate him. His breathing is labored and I feel horrible each time I wake him or move him. I've tried to hold him in my arms, but he tries to drag himself away. That is what is killing me the most, though I know it's not his fault, but this cat never wanted to "get away" from me.
You've all done the right things in your situation. I don't think Titan is in pain, or he's hiding it, but his quality of life used to be running at top speed through the kitty tunnels and chirping all day long. I work from home, so he's always at my side. I can't imagine life without him.
He has been here through my divorce and helped raise 5 boys for 11 years. He was never meant to be mine. The boys picked Titan up at a park as a kitten and begged to keep him. We already had 4 cats, what was one more. He then decided I was his.
My heart is shredded. I don't know how to let him go, but I don't want him to suffer. Saddle thrombus is the worst. I have never seen such a quick devastating affliction in any pet I've had in my 51 years. Hugs to all of you. I could really use one right now.
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