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katrs09

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #1 
I went home on Monday, my birthday, to see Sadie and my family. Sadie was o.k. she ate some and was happy to see me. Things changed fast though. When I went home yesterday to see her she was laying down, unable to get up very well and she could barely lift her head. She didnt even seem to be happy that I was there. On Saturday she stopped eating and she progressively got worst. When I saw her yesterday she couldn't even keep water down. She tried to drink a few times but threw it up moments later. After awhile she seemed to want to get up, so we helped her, but she just stood for a moment and collapsed. She didn't really seem in pain, but she was very weak. Both of my parents have Tuesday off so I was going to call in to work and go home and we were going to take her in to be put to sleep then. But my dad called me this morning before class and told me that she had died over night:( I'm relieved that she does not have to feel that pain and helplessness anymore, but I miss her so much and I can't help but wonder if she was in any pain. I wanted to be there when she passed so that she could see her loving family and not be afraid. I'm scared that she was confused and scared and didn't have anyone around her. I love her so much. Ever sense I found out it's been hard to breathe, I can feel my heart breaking. Now I have to go to work and pretend that everythings ok and that I didn't just lose my best friend and my baby. I have to deal with customers and people that don't understand what I am going through and don't care. I feel selfish for thinking about all of this, but I only want to sit and cry and pray. I miss her so much, I want nothing more than to kiss her on her forehead again. Everyone that knew Sadie loved her. She was a kind spirit, never complained, always loving. I'm not even sure of what I'm feeling right now...I have spurts of crying intensely, then I stop for awhile and try to forget by doing something else, but then something reminds me and I cry again. I just need someone to tell me that it's ok, and that they understand. I miss Sadie's smile, I miss her soft ears, I miss itching her chin while she kicks her legs up, I miss feeding her by hand, I miss laying next to her and talking to her, I miss her ripping presents open, I miss giving her treats, taking her on walks, petting her, brushing her, I miss her being alive.Sometimes I feel numb, sometimes sad, sometimes angry and I don't know how to handle my emotions. It's so hard to believe that just last month she was happy, going on walks every day and wagging her tail nonstop when she saw me and smiling. Now I can never see that again.

1-1998 to 6-16-2008

4-2002 to 6-3-2008
R.I.P. May you both be in heaven having fun and looking down on your family that loves and misses you so.

bugsdogs

Registered:
Posts: 1,288
 #2 
Kathleen,
I am so sorry for the loss of Sadie. There are so many things that you will miss about Sadie, loving her is the strongest one I am sure. Give yourself time to realize that she is gone, this loss is still so very new and very painful.

We all understand the emotions you are going through right now, we are here when you need to talk to us and give you support. I hope you have family that understands you connection to Sadie and will be there to comfort you.

Sending you my best and please come talk to us anytime,
Helen
basil

Registered:
Posts: 1,205
 #3 
I am so sorry about your loss of Sadie, and also of your sweet cat.  You know that animals are not afraid of passing dont you.  They are so much more aware of what is going on in their bodies, and to them it is a natural progression.  I know how hard it is for us, it is the hardest thing in the world.  Perhaps your beautiful girl, and she is stunning, wanted to save you all the pain of having to take her to the vet.  Perhaps she wanted to leave under her own terms.
It is when they go, that our pain starts.  I t is so hard because we love them so, and just want them to stay.  My deepest condolences to you all.  Please know that your beautiful girl has just moved out of sight, but you will meet again.  Love Di xxx



We are together now, here at the Bridge.  We love you and miss you all, but we are happy and safe and well.   We love you xxxxxxxxxxxx
mssavion

Registered:
Posts: 613
 #4 

So sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Sadie, what a beautiful precious girl she was!   Now that she is at the Rainbow Bridge, you can be assured that she is running around in the sun like she used to do as a puppy, she is getting all the treats she wants, and has lots of toys and friends.  Never a dull moment at the Rainbow Bridge.   She is a better place for her where she has her youth and dignity.   I feel you pain, I have been there too....please share more stories of your lovely lady.   Hugs from Houston, MsSavion

miteylittle

Registered:
Posts: 25
 #5 
Katrs,
 
I am so very sorry for your losses, both of them.  Thats alot to lose in such a short period of time.  I feel your pain of having to be somewhere other than in a corner sobbing.  I lost a kitty about twenty years ago.  I had her for 11 years and the neighbors live trapped her and took her away or killed her.  Not sure since I never found her. 
 
Anyway, I was waitressing at the time.  In knid of a fancy place no less.  I remember crying and waiting on tables at the same time.  It sucked! to say the least.  When people asked, I told them I had a death in the family because even though furkid passings were viewed differently back then, it really was a death in the family to me.  I just kept crying.
 
The manager was pissed but did I care?  NO
Mostly because I couldn't help it.  My point is, you may cry at the most inopportune time and thats just what needs to happen.  My heart goes out to you girl.  I know how hard that is.  Ignore those that don't get it and allow those that do to help you through this.  They are out there!
 
Again, my deepest sympathies for your losses.
I wish I could help more.  You are in my prayers Kat
 


Jennifer   Yngwie's mama
Becky57

Registered:
Posts: 657
 #6 

I am so very sorry for your loss of Sadie.  I lost my beloved dog nearly three months ago.  Everyone here knows what you are going through, unfortunately.  I have spent a lot of time here and still do.  These people are the only ones who truly understand--only those who have suffered this kind of loss can understand our pain.

rupertsmum

Registered:
Posts: 820
 #7 

So sorry for the loss of your dog Sadie.  Your pain is real and it will take a while to feel better.  I was lucky (if that is the word) when Rupert passed it was school holidays and I wasn't working.  When I went back to work ten days later, I was told hold it together during the day and cry all night to get it out.  Not easy but I learned to hold it in during the day most of the time.  Nights were tough though.  I still lose it when no-one is around and it has been 20 weeks.  I told a few people what happened, if I sensed they were animal caring people and I got some support there.  I needed and still do, need to talk about it.  Most people don't seem to show such compassion after an animal passes or if they do they suppress it because of the people who don't understand.  People on this board all understand as we have been there.   Take each day one at a time and it will get easier.  You have had two recent losses and both pets were young. Ruperts Mum

Rosie

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #8 
I am so sorry to hear about Sadie.
She was a beautiful girl and I completely understand how devestated you are right now.
I lost my little Mickey 2 weeks ago tomorrow. He was a Maltese and was my little angel. He was the entire world to me and I am still crying every day.
Just like you, I may be fine one minute and then all of a sudden it hits me and I am hysterical.
I feel like people don't understand and the last thing I want to hear is that I need to move on. How can I possibly move on when he was my world?
Please know that what you are going through is very normal. It is OK to feel your feelings and to cry, be angry and feel any other emotion that comes with all of this.
She was your baby and she loved you so much.
She is not suffering anymore and is happy running and playing, chasing birds and squirrels. She is eating her favorite dish and is snacking on treats constantly.
I pray that you find comfort in her memories. She will always be in your heart.
WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #9 

Dear Kathleen,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Sadie.  She is such a beautiful girl and I know you will miss her so deeply.  I know the pain is so terrible and raw right now.  I wish I could say something that would somehow lessen it, but all of us who love furbabies eventually endure this pain.  But, think of all the wonderful loving times we have preserved forever in our hearts.   Sadie has left all these beautiful memories to fill your heart.

Sadie knows your heart, Kathleen.  She knows how much you loved her and love her still.  Even though you were not physically with her when she passed, she carried your image and love in her heart, and felt you there with her.  She is now running in the beautiful green meadows of the Rainbow Bridge, as strong as ever.   No more pain, no more weakness, just pure joy. She is with your precious kitty. 

Sadie is watching over you and loves you so.  When your grief lessens a bit, I think you will be able to feel her loving spirit right beside you.  I lost my little beloved 16 year old terrier, Betsy, five months ago and I feel her near me almost every minute of the day.   Death can never break the bond the two of you shared.   

Sending big hugs,
Melissa
Betsy's forever mom

P.S. I lit an internet candle for Sadie under her name.  You can find it by going to AurichWolf's thread entitled, "Light A Candle Here" on this grief board and clicking on the little "Light a Candle" icon located in the first post of page one.  It will burn for 48 hours.

CathyCouch

Registered:
Posts: 11
 #10 
Please accept my deepest condolence for your loss. I share the same pain. I lost my little Shasta (kitty) three weeks and two days ago. The crying has been better for me, but I still well up often. Each one of us that go through this loss will, I imagine, do it at different paces. I know how bad this hurts. Try to focus on the comfort Sadie gave you...and the nice memories. That has helped me. Come here as much as you can. It really helps! This is such a BIG thing. Don't worry you are crying too much or anything like that! My Shasta went downhill very fast right before my eyes. Weak, no eating, etc. It was the worst thing to see that. They are better off now. Take care.


mw0263

Registered:
Posts: 139
 #11 
Dear Kathleen,

You have just written my story, and the tears are falling down my face as I write.  I am so sorry for your loss and know the pain that you are suffering.  I went through the same thing 3 weeks ago but I had to make the decision to put my Comet down.  I had wished that she would have passed on her own and felt guilt that I had to do it.  I am saying this to you because I believe that no matter what happens in the end the pain and the guilt are the same.  The loss is unbearable sometimes and the emptiness is horrible.  My golden girl was my baby, and I loved her just like she was.

I am glad that you found this site because the people here will help you get through whatever it is you are going through and at whatever time you need.  Someone is always here just keep posting and I hope you find the comfort you need.  I am putting a picture of my Comet because I was struck by how much she looks like your Sadie.  Allow yourself whatever amount of time to grieve, you just lost a member of your family and you need time to heal.  Everyone is different in their grieving process but allow yours to be whatever it is. I'm still trying to figure out how to live my life without my best friend.  I don't know if I'll ever get through this but as long as the tears come I have to let them come.

You and Sadie are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

 P.S. Comet loved the snow too and would look for the snowballs I threw for hours.
katrs09

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #12 
I cannot even express how thankful I am that so many people posted. All of your kind words have warmed my heart and made me feel a little better. I knew it was her time to go, the pain is just still so new. I really just feel like crying more because you all have shown me that kindness that I have not received from barely anyone. And thank you mw0263 for your story, your beautiful golden does resemble Sadie so greatly. I hope that all of you who posted's pets are playing with my baby Sadie now and making her feel welcome.I know that they are. Sadie did love to play in the snow and she caught snowballs so greatly, she also loved to take big floppy toys and shake them, that would always put a big grin on her face. I hope that she is doing this now. She will never leave my heart. I was also wondering, if you have another dog that's younger, how do you heal and still pay attention to this dog? I just got this dog last year and he never really knew Sadie that well, so it's kind of hard to connect with him now that I am mourning. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all very much:)


mw0263

Registered:
Posts: 139
 #13 
Kathleen,

Again I ask, Are you writing my story?  I also have another dog that I adopted last summer.  It's been difficult trying to show him the love that I have for him (and I do) while mourning my Comet.  I had Comet since she was 8 weeks old and the bond that we had goes way beyond anything that I have ever experienced.  I really don't have that with Wee Boy but I still do love him.  I have taken some time and put it aside where I can spend time with him because he misses Comet too.  I see him looking for her and sniffing around things like my slippers.  Comet would always grab things like slippers, socks, stuffed toys, dish towels, etc. before she became to old.  Then when he finds something he cuddles up to it and that breaks my heart.  Anyway, although these dogs are different and maybe we don't have the same bond with them, they are feeling the pain of loosing without really knowing what is going on.  I think if you give it a try, your other guy will surely do his best to help you heal your heart. 

Just remember that this dog will never replace Sadie but this dog has it's own personality and your responses and bonding will be different from Sadie.  Just try to take a few moments to be with the younger dog where you talk to him, even if it's to tell him how much you miss Sadie. 

I'll keep you close in my thoughts today and hope you find a way to connect to the little guy and hope you find some comfort, if only for even a few moments, with the loss of your beautiful Sadie. 

Love and Good Wishes to You,


JennyH

Registered:
Posts: 34
 #14 
Kathleen, I'm so sorry about Sadie (and also your kitty -it looks like you recently lost her as well?).

I understand not wanting to have to deal with people and wanting to just be able to sob.  I fortunately was able to do that for a couple of days after we recently lost our Ernie (tuxedo cat 15 years).

I can relate to how difficult it is to have to go to work and not have people understand your real grief of loss because in their words, "it was just an animal".  I had to deal with the public years ago when we lost Charlie. I would just burst out into tears at work.  I remember some customer asking me what was wrong and when I explained that we'd just lost our cat, he dismissed it as though I'd just broke a fingernail.  People like that are ignorant and insensitive to losing a pet you love so dearly, but you know what, if you cry, you cry.  You can't pretend you're happy when your heart is broken. 

Sadie was very fortunate to have had you and you, Sadie.  I know how much it hurts.  It will take time.  Your other "baby" will probably sense your loss as well. 

hugs to you....
Georgeann

Registered:
Posts: 2,245
 #15 
I am so sorry for your loss of Precious Sadie.  I lost my Little Angel Christopher almost 15 months ago.  The pain just lives on and on.  Your story broke my Heart.  I wish there was something I could say to help with the pain but nothing works.  I know because I have been looking for almost 15 months.  I know our babies are at Rainbow Bridge and waiting for us and I know that they are all together and safe.  I know that they miss us too.  I will count every day until I can hold Christopher in my Arms once again.

Sending Prayers and Big Hugs Your Way
Georgeann
Christopher's Mommy
Forever
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