Registered: 1519352341 Posts: 2
My boyfriend and I got Sake in July of 2017. He was a little kitten with cerebellar hypolasia. To be quite honest, we weren't too sure about having a kitty with CH. However, he completely stole our hearts. Sake didn't let his disability change how he was going to live his life. His case was mild -- meaning he could get around on his own but would sometimes loose his balance. In which case, he would immediately get up and start running around again. Sake was such a sweet, sweet boy.
Around Friday last week, we noticed he was coughing and amounted it to just hairballs. We gave him hairball remedy to try and help him out but he kept doing it. He already had a scheduled vet appointment on Wednesday so we figured we would just wait to ask the doctor about it then. However, on Monday, I came home from a run and tried to feed him his lunch. He refused to eat -- an immediate red flag for both my boyfriend and I; that little man loved him some food. We also noticed that he was moving very slow and just wanted to hide in his cat fort. We followed our gut and rushed him to the emergency clinic. In the middle of Monday night, Sake almost died. The vets were able to stabilize him, but he wasn't getting any better. He wasn't responding to antibiotics to make him strong enough to have a possible surgery, his blood pressure was very low, and he still couldn't breathe on his own. The vets wanted to try a few more antibiotics so we decided to wait one more day to see if he would get any better. On Tuesday, Sake made very little improvement. He was still in critical condition but we were hopefully since it was the first improvement we had seem since he started staying at the emergency clinic. My boyfriend and I went to visit him Tuesday night to say goodnight and my heart just ached. I knew we were going to have to let him go if nothing changed throughout the night. He was in distress, still on oxygen support, on three different types of antibiotics, and could hardly move. Wednesday morning, we called the vet for an update. Sake became less responsive over night. The vet thought he might have brain damage. We went to go see him again and we knew it was time. It was probably the hardest sentence I've ever had to say out loud. The vet gave us so much time with him before they put him to sleep. I'll always be grateful for that. My boyfriend and I told him how much he was loved, how much we would miss him, and how very sorry we were. Sake passed away peacefully and I truly believe that, if we hadn't of euthanized him, he would not have had a peaceful death. However, it's so hard not to blame myself. I know I made the right decision because he just wasn't going to live a happy life anymore. I just feel so guilty for being the one to say yes to euthanizing him. My heart aches every time I think about it and I just feel heavy. When I close my eyes at night, all I see is Sake with all kinds of wires coming from him and I just see what his eyes looked like after he passed. I don't want to go back to a normal routine or a normal life because that means he's really gone. He was only nine months old. He was just a baby -- he was OUR baby. I'm so angry and just absolutely devastated. I know with time, I'll feel better and there will be a "new normal" but for now I just really miss my little cuddle bug.
Registered: 1178588167 Posts: 1,355
I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved Sake. You and your boyfriend took in a cat that some people would pass by because of his disorder. You gave him a life filled with love and happiness. You said you feel guilty for being the one that said yes to euthanize him but you know in your heart that they count on us to make that decision. The decision to let them go when their bodies fail, to let them go surrounded by your love. It is the greatest gift of true love.
JoAnn - mom to Jackie, Chan, Daphne, Scarlett, Noir, Stan and Thomas's mom and mom to many other Bridge babies.
Registered: 1520952202 Posts: 12
You are so sweet to have given Sake such a loving home. You gave him a loving home for as long as he needed it and broke your own heart to save him from suffering. It hurts so much to lose a pet no matter what the circumstances.
You did the only thing you could do in your situation. I do admire you for adopting and caring for a special needs kitty. I am truly sorry for your loss. Holly
Registered: 1519352341 Posts: 2
Thank you both so much. Your kind words truly mean a lot. It's been three weeks today. It's getting a little easier but we definitely still miss him and think about him all the time.