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Spe

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #1 
Friday June 28. I will never forget it . I saved my girls life 2x and I couldn’t save her this day! my poor sheepie old English sheepdog 13 year old Girl. She had surgery for pyometra and was a very close call . Surgery saved her. The 2nd time just this March 1st ... she had a cancer tumor in her breast and we took it out. Grew very quickly. Saved again. The vet told me she had good time after that but the cancer would eventually return one day we just didn’t know when . It wasn’t spread we took it out on time. I just wanted her for more time I didn’t care how long.

So tell me someone please , why did she die this way ???? Drowned in my pool! My husband found her after I had left her outside for a couple hours which is what we always did So she could go do her business. What kills me is my husband put something a cooler next to the pool so she couldn’t get by the other side . She knew this ! So why did she cross this ? She was a great smart dog and it makes no sense how she did that after knowing the cooler was placed there so she couldn’t get by !!!!! If makes no sense to me. ??? Did she do this to Die???
My husband doesn’t want to give me details of how he found her in pool . When I rushed to backyard I was still in denial she was out of the water and he had covered her. I just yelled at him and told him : it’s your fault !!!! You told me keep that cooler there and you always put it there to keep her from doing her business on the other end of pool and now look !!!! Just because you didn’t want to wash the floors again !!!! A few minutes later I took it back after realizing it was harsh. I was just upset and in denial .
We are both so devastated. Like everyone else here we feel so guilty . I shouldn’t of left her, I shouldn’t of put that cooler back so she’d fall, I should’ve been here with her.
My husband remembers how he found her and I can see it kills him. I remember how she looked and it kills me ! After we protected her and saved her life how could this happen this way ???
Her back legs had given up and she was bunny hoping already. She was falling on her behind many times and we would help her get up all the time but she never had problems outside. She also had severe arthritis. She was deteriorating and we didn’t want to see it. I’m sure she tripped And couldn’t swim out because of her back legs. She had fallen in once 2 years ago but I was here and I watched her save herself right away while I Was running towards her. Or I tell myself she told God to help her go without us seeing her die because we’d try to save her and she was ready to go. We just didn’t want to see it. I just think she still had time . I didn’t get to say goodbye to her as planned . I said to myself once she stops eating I’ll know she’s ready. I’m so distraught. We’ve only told everyone she was dead when we arrived home. No details. We are keeping this between my husband and I because we are just so heartbroken and it’s tragic to us. We cry everyday . We have no kids . She was our baby. Our home is empty and quiet now. She follows me around no more. All that kills us both . !!!! :((((
twinkiesmom

Registered:
Posts: 770
 #2 
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your pain. It feels so all consuming sometimes you feel like you can't breath. There is no rhyme nor reason why or how she passed the way she did. She could have had a stroke or heart failure and passed in seconds. I know you feel you feel you failed her (I always do) but you didn't. You gave her a wonderful home and so much love and she returned your love tenfold. Grieve, cry as much as you need to but through your tears remember your life together and know she is with you always, a special part of her heart will always be filled with a part of her spirit. The bond of love is forever. As someone here in Petloss always says, all is well with love. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.🙏
Spe

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #3 
Thank you so much for your words. We appreciate it. =( 
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