Registered: 1560170815 Posts: 1
I will be saying goodbye to my best friend on Thursday. I've struggled with the decision for a really long time, and her dementia is getting worse and it's causing her anxiety so I know I need to make the right decision for her while she remembers me and I can tell her how much I love her.
I'm just really struggling, because she still licks me and knows who I am. She still does the same yawn when I wake her up, snuggles her nose in the blankets to get more comfortable, still wants to lay in the beds I make for her in every room, with perfectly folded blankets just plush enough for her to sink into, with folds around her head so she can stick her nose or cover her eyes if she wants...and she still enjoys her treats. How can I make a decision like this to say goodbye to her? How can I wake up that morning, give her all the best treats, and make her as happy as I can with her not having a single clue what's about to happen? It's not fair. She's 17 years old, and I've had her by my side my entire life. She's been there through everything with me. I bottle fed her from the moment her mother gave birth, and I've slept with her my entire life. She's been there for me through almost everything, all the bad stuff and all the good stuff. I still can't decide what to do with the remains. Looking at these boards, I'm happy to see so many people have great comfort with urns or burials but I don't know what I should do. I don't really believe in an afterlife, the idea of burying hurts my heart because she shouldn't be outside in the ground..even though I know it's not her, I don't want to think of her like that. She's never been an outside dog. I don't want her in an urn either, because that's not her, that's not what she should be resulted to. I can't even imagine looking at a box like that, it would tear my heart to pieces. Has anyone done cremation jewelry? If so, how did that work? Do you have to fill the jewelry yourself and are you scared for the jewelry, since it could drop or hit something or water could get in it if it rains? Can you send off the ashes for them to be sealed in the jewelry, and if so how would you even know the person actually filled it correctly? Was anyone in this same situation as me? I don't know if I'm just in denial, but I can't stand the idea of her being in an urn or buried...and yet I feel like I can't just wash my hands of her either. I'm at a loss and I know I need to make a decision by Thursday. Was anyone else in this situation? my baby forever and always <3
Registered: 1557511919 Posts: 171
We had to have one of our dogs euthanized because he became blind and dementia set in. At times he was so miserable, howling and pacing that I took him into the vet for an assessment and the vet agreed that letting our sweet boy go was the kindest thing we could do. The day I took him I snuggled in bed with him that morning, gave him some treats and spent quality time. I was there when he left this earth. We had him cremated, his ashes are kept in a beautiful wooden box in our home. You wouldn't be able to put all the ashes in a necklace, just some and you may be able to order the necklace from wherever your vet sends your sweet girl to be cremated. I would start by asking the vet how it works to see if you can find an answer. You would have to decide what to do with the rest of the ashes, you could scatter them somewhere beautiful that you both enjoyed. I have heard there are also benches that can be purchased where ashes can be put inside. Or you can have them put in a beautiful box with her name on it and put it away somewhere safe until there is a time when you won't be so devastated when you see the box.
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. It's not an easy decision but it's one you have made with love and compassion to a beautiful pet that you have given a wonderful life to and in turn have received love back. Please keep reaching out to the message board, it's helped me.
Registered: 1498611382 Posts: 521
I am so very sorry. I know the heart ache and pain you are facing. I had my sweet Termy put to sleep over 21 months ago and it still breaks my heart. I had some of his ashes put into a pendent ( that is sealed) and the rest is on a shelf in my living room. His ashes and my other beloved Dakota are to be buried with me when I go. I feel a peace inside knwing they will be with me. I had another one that I buried in the ground and then moved away and to this day I regret not having him cremated so that he (Patches) could always be with me. I know that I only buried his earthly body and his spirit is always with me but this is what made me decide to go with cremation. What ever you decide to do, go with what feels right in your heart. No matter what your decision is remember that her ashes are just what is left of her earthly body and that hier spirit is always with you. She will wait for you at the Bridge until,the day you can be reunited, never to be parted. Just make every moment with her very special and make memories. Your girl knows how much you love her and you only want what is best for her. Just be gentle with yourself and grieve. You are her hero for you loved and were loved.
Love and doggie hugs Termy's mom