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olrosy

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Posts: 2
 #1 
My dog was acting weird this whole week and yesterday was the day that changed everything. She wouldn’t eat at all or wiggle her tail or roll on the floor like she used too. instead she just layed their until we realised it was time for her to go to the vet. She had a tumour we didn’t know about and yesterday night they said what they were giving her wasn’t working. i’m only 16 years old and everyone is dealing with this so strong but i’m so broken. i can’t breathe and i keep crying everytime i try to be strong. i feel so bad because we thoughy she was bleeding due to her period, little did we know it was much more than that. Because i thought it was her period i didn’t let her into my room the following days and i feel so bad because what if she just wanted to say goodbye to me? i actually feel so lost without her. i used to cry whenever i thought about losing her and now she’s actually gone. People keep saying she’s gone to a better place but it just makes my heart hurt even more. i loved her more than anything in this entire world. i lost my bestfriend and it hurts so much. i don’t know what to do. some advice would be so good right now. I love you so much, Venus. RIP.

Kittenpants

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Posts: 4
 #2 
I just wanted to let you know that I'm almost 40 and I feel very similar to how you do, honey. I used to think about my Maxine passing and cry- knowing it would be the hardest thing to say goodbye to my soul pet. I lost her Tuesday and I also feel so lost without her. You are handling this the best you can- and I can tell you that even though you say you're 16 and everyone is stronger than you- I'm grown with children of my own and feel like you over the loss of my beloved pet. Many hugs to you- we will figure this out.
VickyMJ

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Posts: 71
 #3 
I agree with Kittenpants, don’t worry about being ‘strong’ whatever that is! I’m also a lot older than you and the the death of my cat has hit me a lot harder than it did my 15 year old son. He’s been comforting me a lot as I’ve been in tears almost everyday and it’s been 3 and half weeks.

Don’t stop yourself from crying, you are grieving and don’t let anyone tell you how long you should grieve for, there is no set time, just take each minute, hour, day at a time. You feel so heartbroken because you loved / love her so much.

It’s also totally natural to think about the things you did and didn’t do just before she died, as guilt is one of the emotions we feel first of all when we grieve, even though you have nothing to feel guilty for. She knows you love her and you will always have that special bond forever.

Time will help ease the pain a little, but it takes a while.

Just look after yourself and try not to compare yourself to how others are dealing with it, I could barely function the first days / week after.

Hugs to you xx
olrosy

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #4 
Thank you both for your lovely words. It’s really helping. I feel like she’s near me spiritually. ❤️
Goldie

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #5 
Olrosy, again, its not age, I am in my 60's and have been rescuing and rehoming cats for over 30 years and have taken on a lot of sick or elderly cats so obviously I have had to deal with a lot of euthanasia and illness and dying in cats.  But my wee Annie died four weeks ago and I am still so lost without her here.  Its not that I love my other cats less, its just that she and I had and have a very special bond.  I miss her so much and sometimes I see things or go somewhere and remember something about something she used to do and it makes me hurt all over again.  Like VickyMJ says, don't stop yourself from crying.  You cannot compare your grieving to that of someone else's.  Venus deserves your tears, your tears are testament to the fact that Venus was special and was loved and lived a life on this earth.  And you deserve to be able to ease your pain with tears.  And it shows what a kind caring person you are and your dog will have known how much you loved him.  I still cry everyday about Annie after four weeks, sometimes you cannot see the tears but I know they are there inside me.  So please let your tears comfort you, Venus would comfort you if he were with you.  You were that important to him.  
Lasweetbaby33

Registered:
Posts: 377
 #6 
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby please accept my most sincere sympathy it just breaks me even more to keeping reading stories of people losing their babies how sad and awful it is. It doesn't matter what age we are when it has to with losing one of our fur babies the pain of losing them is just hurtful to all of us no matter what. These fur-babies become so important in our lives that it's just hard for us to even accept that they are no longer with us. it sounds to me that you loved your baby dearly and you didn't mean to kick your dog out of your room for so many days. You also didn't knew how sick she was so please don't blame yourself for what had happen. Apparently I have done it with my other babies that have passed away to of not letting them into my room for many reasons, but that didn't mean that I didn't love them. How can we know what is going on with them since these poor babies are not able to talk to let us know what is wrong. The only ways they communicate with us is by scratching in doors, barking etc. 

Honestly things just happened and it's not our fault illness due arise a lot and takes away our love ones it's just so heartbreaking. I just wished their was something I could do to help you feel better and be able to bring your baby back, Unfortunately I can't all I could say is stay strong and grief all you need for your baby that is part of the grief process I learned that while being here. Not all of us are the same way when it has to do with losing a fur-baby. many of us could be strong while others could be weaker and have a hard time adjusting to what had happened. You are still young 16 years is practically a baby still and sometimes is just harder for you to understand things that have happen while older ones are just more stronger of taking these type of things with more calm. Also the dog that you currently lost you said was your best friend of course is going to hurt you especially if you were very attach to her and nobody else was. Please stay strong sweetie right now it's going to be very hard for you but hopefully within time your pain will become less and everything of your dog will soon turn into happy memories.. 

Remember you are not alone in your pain we are all here for you whenever you need to talk. I'm also the type of person that is always whiling to lend a ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. if you ever need me you can always private message me to I'm always here take care of yourself and I'm sending you a big warm ((((HUG))))


~ Mayra ( Princess & Blanca's mom) 
lotrbb

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #7 
I'm so so sorry that you lost your beautiful Venus. I understand the feelings of guilt, when you talk about not letting her into your room. I also have a ton of feelings of guilt about the way my puppy Axe passed away. The one thing that has given me hope is to know that they are watching over us now. They want us to know that they loved us and they know how much we love them. We can only try to learn from the lessons they taught us and try to be as caring, loving, and kind as they were. Dogs live in the moment, for me, I just try to think of the better moments I had with Axe. How much he loved playing and running and getting treats. I hope you are able to heal soon. -Julia
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