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Posts: 4
Feeling all of it with the sudden loss of my dog, Olly.

I adopted Olly, a 1 year old shepherd/collie mix from a rescue in February. Within the first three days of bringing him home he became very sick. Later the vet gave him fluids, and some take home meds and diagnosed the illness as a canine cold.

Fast forward two months, and within days of my boyfriend and I moving to a new apartment, he became extremely sick. Much more so than the previous time. We woke up to him walking down the hallway completely unbalanced, almost as though he was drunk. He then fell over and couldn’t stand back up, and couldn’t focus. At that point my boyfriend rushed him to a veterinary hospital. They say he stopped breathing on their exam tables and they quickly put him in an oxygen chamber to fight that. That same day they called me to ask if he could have gotten into any antifreeze because his bloodwork was showing potential signs of that (the answer is a firm no btw). After three days, and $5k Olly was ready released. The vet chalked it up to Olly having eaten a plant in our apartment that was poisonous to dogs. This could very well have been the case. Three months have gone by since then and Olly had been doing so well...

Up until this weekend when my boyfriend and I went on a trip for 5 days. We left the dog in a friend’s care. She was pet sitting him at our apartment. Upon our return Olly was skin and bones, which he had not previously been. He also had less energy and was moving a bit slower. I also found a worm in his poop. Immediately gave him a deworming tablet and took him to our primary vet to diagnose the worms. On the way to the vet Olly through up twice in the car (and twice on the way home). The vet conducted blood work and took a stool sample and was to get back to me the following day (now today, as i’m Writing this).

Olly seemed to get weaker as the day went on. Moving from laying in one spot to another - he couldn’t seem to get comfortable or fall asleep. I took him out to use the bathroom and he had two bouts of diarrhea. Took him back in the apartment and he continued to move from place to place. He had diarrhea in our kitchen so I cleaned it up and took him outside again. Instead of using the bathroom he laid down in the grass, and was too weak to get up again. I carried him back in and he laid down immediately. Maybe an hour later I noticed him laying down and when I called his name his eyes couldn’t seem to get to me. He was breathing hard. I called my boyfriend and told him that I think we need to take him to the emergency vet but he asked that I wait until he get home (he was 30 mins away at that time) and I felt uncomfortable with that, seeing how bad my dog was doing and at that time his gums were getting cold and turning whitish-Blue and his breathing was starting to slow significantly.

My boyfriend got home and was reluctant to take him, and wanted to wait until the morning to see how he was doing. I convinced him we needed to take him tonight but he was afraid to disturb the dog by picking him up since he was clearly doing so poorly. As we carried him downstairs to our car in the parking garage my boyfriend said “no, no!” And shortly followed that up with “babe he stopped breathing, he’s gone” before we even got in the car. We still got in the car with him and drove him to the animal hospital where it was confirmed that he passed.

I was in disbelief the whole car ride, and even in the vets office when it was confirmed. I feel like I didn’t get to say a proper goodbye for several reasons. I feel like his time was robbed from him and my time with him was robbed from me/us. I don’t even know where to go from here. Most of my friends moved out of LA and he was my one little support, one little purpose. I’m in total shock and don’t know how to go on. I’m questioning my faith and feel complete guilt for how he went. I’m so confused by how quickly his situation worsened, and I even took him to the vet the same day trying to aid his recovery from whatever it was that took him. I feel anger at those around me because I feel like I need to place blame to find closure and I’m either placing the blame on myself or them. I’m lost, sad, and feeling hopeless and as though my purpose is gone.

Posts: 11
I wish you peace and strength.

Posts: 639
I am so sorry you have had to go through this.  Your reaction is completely normal given the 
circumstances. The shock, the anger. In time these will ease but right now they are in full swing and it is all part of the grieving process. Still, it is a tough part and one no one relishes. It feels like it will never end. And it can be scary because it is an experience you have never had. When all of my girls died I honestly believed I would never recover from the pain, tears and heartbreak. But it will ease. I promise.

I am so sorry for your loss. You sound like a beautiful person.

God bless,

Posts: 19
This is terrible. I really hate it for you! And I can only imagine how it hurts because German Shepherds are a strong bonding dog. Do be good to yourself and take comfort in knowing you tried everything you could and sometimes it is not in our hands.
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