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skmk

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Posts: 93
 #1 
I'm in shock.  I lost my boy Dickens today.  He died at the vets office and they really didn't know what was wrong with him.  He was a mini long haired dachshund who was 13 years old.  We got him when he was 4 years old and have had him for 9 years.  He was my friend, my shadow, my love and my joy.
Now it's all taken away.  I am in shock and miss him terribly.  I wasn't expecting him to die.  He was dehydrated and anemic but the vet didn't know why.  He had been on prednisone for inflammation in his back.  He just got weaker and weaker.  We all thought it was from the prednisone.  I may never get an answer to what happened to him.  We just buried him, my husband made him a little wooden casket.  He was such a huge part of my life I don't know what to do, I'm beside myself.  The pain is unbearable.  I just can't believe he's gone.  Just a week ago he was running after chipmunks and now he's gone.  I can't wrap my head around it.  I am sad beyond words.  Thank you for letting me ramble.
Right now I have to go but I'm sure I'll be back.  I'm just lost.
skmk
georgesmom

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Posts: 22
 #2 
So very sorry for your loss of Dickens.  Sometimes treatment for one issue can lead to other problems, their little systems can't handle too much.  But know you did all you could.  I know how hard it is, I am still grieving for my cat, George, who I lost in April.  He was 13 also, and I still cry, wishing he was with me.  Talk as much as you want about Dickens, we will all listen.  *Hugs*
skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #3 
I feel like I failed him somehow. I am still in shock.
I feel awful and just want to cry and sleep. I can't function. I've been through this a few times before but I guess I haven't learned anything. I have other animals to take care of and can barely manage that. Dickens was my best friend. He and I were in sync. I am so lost and in pain.
skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #4 
Please can I get some input. I am really hurting.
I can hardly stand the pain and shock of this loss.
Is anyone there?
doglife

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Posts: 69
 #5 
SKMK,
I know all too well about the sudden loss of your best friend.  I call her that because she was.  Doesn't matter to me that she had 4 legs and fur.  She was still my daily dose of sunshine and made EVERYTHING about every day fun.  She just looked to always find " fun" in everything that surrounded her.  From reflections on the walls and floors, to the vacuum, to butterflies, to birds, to the water hose, to playing tug, to always having to have a ball in her mouth, to being by anyone's side to catch whatever food fell on the kitchen floor when we were cooking.   She was a beautiful healthy happy German Shepherd.  The reason I am telling you all of this, is because I know what your going through.  With the shock, the suddenness of it , the not knowing what REALLY went wrong, the questions, the what if's , the horrible aching hole in your heart.   I'm right there with you, but my baby girl passed away on May 23rd.   I can breath a little easier now, and the pain in my chest is not there anymore,  but the sadness of her loss follows me everywhere , like a shadow.   In the first few weeks,  I'll be real,  I was a total mess , like you are now.  Feeling like I couldn't function, feeling like I was in a fog, dazed and confused, hoping that this new reality was all just a really bad nightmare and that I would wake up soon.  

It hurts, it hurts bad to lose your faithful companion.  It IS shocking to have lost him so quickly.  I never wanted to be here , at least not for another 7 years with my Jada.  She was almost 8 years old.  The day she left me, was like any other day.  She was playing in the backyard with her 2 other GSD - brothers, and she was ecstatic that I turned the hose on , it was the first warm day that spring.   She LOVED playing in the hose.  As a matter of fact, I had to keep telling her to lay down because she kept running in the stream and I couldn't fill up the kiddie pool.   Absolutely no warning, whatsoever, she ran up to me on the deck and just collapsed,  fell over, and she was gone. Gone,  I cried, screamed, tried unsuccessfully to revive her, but she wasn't breathing.  I couldn't even lift her up , she was 78lbs dry and now she was soaking wet.  She wasn't breathing.  She was gone, just like that.  Playing, healthy, happy, and then BOOM ,  GONE!    I still can't wrap my head around it.  The shock lasted for about 2 weeks in which time I searched the internet for answers as to what causes sudden death in dogs.

There were two possible answers, one a type of heart defect that went undetected, like when an athlete drops dead on the field, or hemangiosarcoma, a cancer that can sneak up on a dog without much warning and take them very quickly if undetected,  even if it's detected, the outcome is the same.

I am so sorry about your loss.  I feel your pain and grief.  It's hard enough when you know they are sick and they are dying, but to lose your best buddy , while he seemed healthy and fine, well it's super hard to wrap your head around,  which you have to do first, and then you let yourself grieve.   I listened to a song over and over that my brother sent me, and it's a sad song, so that might not be your thing, but music definitely helps me to get my emotions out and so I actually came up with a playlist of several songs that remind me of Jada.   When I ever get the extra time, I will make a video of her with those songs.  But in the meantime, I made a little memorial for her in my garden.  I planted all butterfly attracting flowers to draw in butterflies, because she loved to chase them, and I loved to watch her.    Maybe when you are up to it, you can make a little memorial of your Dickens favorite things, and keep them in a very special place.   I'll share the song with you, it's RAM-Forever Love, Ramelia( Orchestra Mix)- Ram & Susana.   The words are so exactly what I was feeling and still am feeling when I lost my precious girl.   Not everyone understands how deep the grief of losing a pet goes,  but it goes VERY deep, and they say it's as painful as losing a child.  Because in a way , our pets are like our children. 
I hope in sharing some of my story that it could bring you some comfort.  I don't know all the pretty , fancy words to say to make the pain go away, because nothing took mine away.  But in time, it gets a little better, where you can actually breath again, and not cry as much, but when I read your story , it did make me cry , because I know what you feel like right now, and it's so very hard.

Wishing you comfort,and healing,
Jada's mom

klokom

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #6 
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Dickens. I lost my 14 year old boy Komet two weeks ago to hemangiosarcoma. It snuck up on us quick, and although he survived a splenectomy, a little over a week later he collapsed and I made the decision to have a vet come to our house so he could transition on in peace. That dog touched my soul and made my world a better place just by being in it. And I hear what you are saying about the pain feeling unbearable. My heart is still in a thousand pieces, but what is helping me is focusing on getting through the next 10 minutes. And then once I get through those 10 minutes, I just focus on getting through the next ten. It's helped my pain be more manageable and not as overwhelming.  And when I find my thoughts & grief getting away from me (in an avalanche kind of way), I use a grounding/distraction exercise where I stop & name 5 things I can see, 4 things I can hear, 3 things I can feel, 2 things I can smell, and one thing I can taste. It sounds a little stupid, but it's just enough of a distraction & interruption that I can get a little bit better handle on my grief. Neither of these things have made it 'all better', but they've helped make the grief a little more manageable for me. Losing Komet feels like the worst thing on earth, and I'm trying to navigate it as well as I can. Wishing you peace, solace, and comfort.
Denyse

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Posts: 9
 #7 
Dear SKMK,

I am very sorry for your sudden loss. I lost my dad suddenly without any warning. I went into shock and denial when I got the phone call. I had just had the best conversation Id ever had with him less than 24 hours before. I hurt really bad. But I hurt even more losing my dog of 15 years. Her name is Angel and we had the vet come to the house on June 1st. Angel  was suffering so much we did what I never wanted to do but she was in pain. It wasnt sudden like your Dickens. But it seems sudden. I suddenly dont have my "shadow" like you said. It hurt so bad I cried non stop. I wailed in my front yard. My neighbor heard me and came over to find out what was wrong. Fortunately she could relate as she had lost one of her cats suddenly. Her family had a memorial service with the big floral displays you see at funerals. She mourned just as if the cat was a human.

I have been fortunate to be off work so that I could take the time to mourn. I have to go through it. I cant get around it. I tell everybody I meet that I just lost my best friend, my dog of 15 years. I have been reading literature about death and grief. I loved that dog so very much. In my mind she deserves to be missed and mourned. She was a very significant relationship in my life. She is my first and only dog. She is the only other female in my house. She would comfort me when I would get into it with my husband or sons. I miss her terribly and I am letting myself feel that pain. In the past I couldnt feel the loss of my dad or other losses Ive had. Today I am grateful that I had such a great love that causes me to feel even though I dont like it. 

My family (men) were concerned about my non stop tears. My sister invited me to go camping with her. At first I didnt want to leave where Angel had been so recently. Im glad I went. I was sad and told everyone in the campground I just lost my dog Angel. Everyone was very empathetic and shared stories of their pets.

Growing up in my family it wasnt OK to cry or be upset. Thats not healthy for me. At my age I cant fake it anymore. I have met really great people that can accept my sorrow. They dont try and fix me or want me to stop. They just let me grieve and be as sad for as long as I need to be. 

Im home now and I am all alone with my memories of my special dog. I am crying deeply and I look forward to the day when I will see Angel again. That gives me hope. 
I know what you feel like too! Its great that you are posting and getting it out. We understand and have been going through the same. You are not alone.

Big hug to you!

Denyse and Angel
skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #8 
Thank you for telling me your story Jada's mom.
You had an awful experience too. I can feel your pain. I'm so sorry for your loss. At this point I don't feel I will ever get over this. Everything I did Dickens was right there with me. There is such a hole in my life. All I can do is cry and sleep with the help of tranquilizers and watch TV to busy my mind. I nursed him through 2 back surgeries because he was a dachshund and prone to herniated discs. He came back strong after both surgeries. I did physical therapy with him. He was such a trooper. I loved him so much and always will. I don't care if people think I'm crazy for mourning a dog. I could never think of getting another dog. I'd feel it would be a slap in the face to him. I'm so tired I will post again. I would like to hear others stories. Thank you.
Skmk
georgesmom

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Posts: 22
 #9 
skmk, I feel the same way about my George, he was my best friend, my world was crushed and it will not be the same.  He hated the vet and knew I would always bring him home, but that last day I couldn't bring him home.  His death wasn't exactly sudden, but discovering his illness was, I had less than a week to make that awful decision.  I felt I didn't think it through, that I should have waited, but he was in pain and I didn't want that for him.  It's guilt that eats at us, that we didn't protect them or do enough somehow.  I know how you feel, really all of us do.  I know it's even hard to hear about other people's losses because all you can think of is your own.  There is no lesson to learn, it will always hurt, your heart will still grieve, that is the love you have inside, and everything you are feeling is because of that deep love.  And there is that one that really becomes our "soul" cat or dog, etc.  It just takes time, it really does, but it doesn't mean you will "get over it" or forget about him, but you won't feel the pain as deeply.  After 4 months, I still have moments that I burst into tears.  Keep talking about Dickens, even though it hurts it will help you and people will respond.

Jada's mom - I am sorry about the loss of your Jada, she sounds beautiful and I love your butterfly garden -  my George loved watching them too. 
Friendlygal

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #10 
My cat also just died recently when it was unexpected!! She came in to the hospital with severe dehydration and weight loss from a kidney infection. They treated the infection, she looked great. I visited her her first night. I got her to eat and she was doing wonderful. I left and then she died at 7 am from a stroke???? They are all so confused, too :( Did you bury in your yard? As I don’t have one but will likely bury in a pet cemetery. I hope I’m not a bad mom for not cremating when I may move!!
skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #11 
Yes it's all so confusing. My vet said he just didn't have enough time to diagnose Dickens because he died so quickly. His best guess is a tumor perhaps hemangeosarcoma. He had rehydrated him but it didn't make much difference. I don't know what to think.
Yes I buried him in our yard. My husband even made him a wooden coffin.
I'm still in shock and miss him so. I cannot function. One day he's chasing Chipmunks the next few days he's gone. I feel like I missed something. It all sucks!
skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #12 
I've made a decision. I just can't do this anymore.
It's too painful. Grieving for lost pets. It's too high a price. I don't want it anymore. I live in the country and I don't want to see nature anymore either. It's so cruel. I just want to live in an apartment or condo where no pets allowed. Not be with anything that can die not even plants.
Just can't do it anymore. Yes it's nice to have the pet relationship but the price is too high when they're gone. Someone else can take care of them.
Denyse

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #13 
SKMK

I relate to what you posted. I have been going through the same thing. I am acutely aware of death everywhere. Im not in agreement with the creator's plan. My hope is not in this world but in the life after death. My faith is the only thing that keeps me from total despair. I was told to look for signs and messages from Angel. I was like yeah right. But I did notice white butterflies suddenly around me. I did see little reminders that made me smile. I have down moments but my hope returns. 

I am praying that you, maybe not now, but sometime, I hope you can feel the blessings. I am realizing how incredibly blessed I am to have had Angel for the short time I did. Of course in my opinion dogs should have a longer lifespan. If I was in charge of the world I would change a lot. But it is what it is. So my hope is in one day being reunited with Angel and all my friends and family that death has taken. This isn't the end of the story!

Big hug to you!

Denyse
skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #14 
Thank you Denyse. I'm sorry for your lost. You're lucky you have that faith. People keep telling me that there's another side where Dickens is romping through the grass. I'm sorry I just can't see it. It's to far fetched. I don't like the creators plan either.
You're born, live and die. What's the point. So we can procreate so others can be born, live and die.
I'm angry. Dickens was the last one I expected to go.
The pain is excruciating. I'm angry with the creator.
He needs to help me understand. I can't say anymore.
Dogsarepeopletoo

Registered:
Posts: 106
 #15 
Ohhhhh, I am so sorry.

Years ago, a friendly acquaintance lost her father after years of dementia and poor heath. Not long after that, my father died suddenly. We were consoling one another and I remarked that she seemed to be handling it better than me. She said she has been grieving the gradual loss of her father for many years; his death marked the end of a long, emotional process. On the other hand, my father's passing was sudden -- so I was just *starting* the grieving process. I thought that was so insightful.

We lost a cat after months of failing health and vet efforts. It was awful, but there was a feeling of peace knowing her struggles were over. Our beloved dog was fine on Wednesday, gone on Friday (a few weeks ago). How can that BE?! I think the shock adds another dimension -- not worse, not better, just another aspect to struggle with.

I also think the suddenness is a little tap on the shoulder that life is precious and can be fleeting. Live each day fully.

Hang in there; take a walk; deep breath; hug your other critters and know you are not alone.

skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #16 
Thank you Dogsarepeopletoo. I know what you're saying. Right now I am inconsolable. I have no energy, I'm depressed beyond belief, I don't care what happens. I have terrible anxiety making me unable to function. It's hard not knowing what happened to him. I am suffering so much I wish God would take me too. I will never have a pet again. I do believe I'm still in shock. I can't go through this again. Someone else can have the pets but it's not going to be me. Someone else can take care of them. If I could find homes for the pets I have left I would. I'm not doing them any good. I am frozen. I haven't showered in 5 days or brushed my teeth. This is hell.
Dogsarepeopletoo

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Posts: 106
 #17 
One suggestion is to contact your vet or local shelter -- a shelter near us offers periodic pet grief counseling. I think there is a point in any emotional journey where professional help might be helpful when things are overwhelming.

Hang in there!
skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #18 
I'm having a really bad day today. I just miss my baby boy so much. I can't stop crying. I can't function. I talked to the vet again. He said possibly the Prednisone suppressed his immune system so that some possibly tick Bourne disease could have attacked his red blood cells. It all happened so fast. I don't know how I will get through this. I keep wanting to blame myself.
The pain is excruciating. Does anyone else blame themselves and how do you ever forgive yourself.
Denyse

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #19 
HI SKMK

Im also having a super difficult day. I just woke up looking for my dog forgetting she is not here to touch! I am so sad and crying all the time. I have been re reading everyone's posts and finding some comfort in that. Im reading dog books now. It helps and it also makes me miss her more. Today I am stuck home with lots of chores to do before I go back to work. I just want to sleep and read about dogs. I read that grief comes like the oceans in waves. Big waves today! 

I dont blame myself as much as I used too. I thinking how did I ever let myself get so attached? Which is crazy. I also think at times that my family doesn't get that I am not over it. I cant fake it. So Im just trying to be gentld to myself and cry and tell God to please give me comfort and strength to go on. 
Dogsarepeopletoo

Registered:
Posts: 106
 #20 
Denyse: Those moments when you have a split second of forgetting your dog is gone are rough. There are so many moments in my day where I expect the dog to be in a certain place or do a certain thing. I caught myself looking in the rear view mirror yesterday to see how she was doing in the back seat. I dropped a small piece of pizza crust last night and didn't even think about picking it up because Annie would hoover it up in a second. Nope.

I like the concept of being gentle to yourself. That's a good one to remember for all of us.
doglife

Registered:
Posts: 69
 #21 
I am going to keep this short today as I have gotten so far behind in my office work and I have so much catching up to do . But to answer your question yes I blamed myself in the beginning and that only made her passing even worse on me . I really thought it was something that I did that day like maybe spraying her with the water hose to much , Or maybe she got into something that she shouldn’t have and I didn’t know it , Even when the ER vet came to the house and I asked her if this was my fault and she told me no your dog probably had a heart issue and she died from that . I guess I must not have really believed her because I spent the next two weeks researching sudden death in dogs and reliving every second of that day over and over , trying to figure out what I might have missed . When I went in to see my regular vet the next week with my other two dogs , She had to tell me several times that it was NOT my fault! Nothing I did wrong. That these things happen in dogs usually from a burst tumor or cardiac event, that virtually showed no symptoms prior . She said she once had a German Shepherd who was only 55 pounds and she found a 7 pound tumor on her spleen , and when she found it and she is a vet, it was too late to do anything for her. I think its a normal part of the greiving process to blame ourselves, although it is not healthy in any way.
Dogsarepeopletoo, You and I are having the same issue with dropping food on the floor because Jada was always right there waiting. I made sure not to drop anything she couldn’t have. But my other 2 dogs used to join her in cleaning up the floor. It still surprises me when I see ANYTHING left on my kitchen floor. My other 2 became uninterested since she passed. Left over crumbs still make me sad.
Dogsarepeopletoo

Registered:
Posts: 106
 #22 
Doglife: I think feeling some level of guilt is normal when we suffer a close loss -- I suppose that is born out of hoping we could have prevented the death; or realizing there are no more opportunities to "fix" whatever we feel guilty about. Our dog was fine Wednesday morning, collapsed and could not walk at noon. It was like her legs had no bones in them. It appeared from X-rays that the vertebrae in her neck were the issue. The vet tried some meds -- no improvement so after 48 hours we made that awful decision. Anyway, I think the suddenness adds to the guilt -- clearly there were issues bubbling under the surface that were not detectable; and it's easy to feel it's our fault that we did not have xray eyes to see the bones, cancer, heart issues, whatever. Intellectually, I know that is not reasonable but emotions are not logical.

I guess we will have to sweep and vacuum more often. Annie was SO fast on snagging whatever dropped. Only once was it scary -- an avacado pit went shooting off the counter and skittered across the floor. All I could imagine was what a choking hazard that would be if she gulped it down. I yelled ANNIE -- NO!!! and I must have had such a frantic tone to my voice, she actually stopped mere inches from that pit. The only food she wouldn't inhale was leaf lettuce; and fresh parsley.

That is interesting that your other dogs are now not interested in crumbs and bits that fall to the floor. It must have been the competition that got their attention. Dogs are goofy!
featheredwolf

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #23 
My friend,

I feel for you so much right now!  This was such a shock!  What you are feeling is completely normal but please, please do not blame yourself.  You did nothing wrong at all.  We have no way of knowing the unforeseen circumstances that can happen.  I will write more later when I can, but I wanted to communicate to you hoping you get this.  I am not sure of your location but there are people in the chat room in the evenings starting at 9 PM (maybe a little earlier) Eastern time.  There are a few of us wolves who come in and stay later on in the evenings if anyone needs support.  Please, if you can, join us if you feel you really need to talk with someone.  We will help you through this!  Huge hug to you!
doglife

Registered:
Posts: 69
 #24 
Dogsarepeopletoo,
That is so funny about your dog not liking lettuce or parsley. Those green leafs were the ONLY things Jada would walk away from. I taught her the “ Leave it” command, & I hear you on the pitt. Had a similar experience with cherry pits falling on the floor. And yes the suddenness of our dogs passing, personally, I think makes it that much more difficult to deal with. When you know you have a pet that is old, is sick & is in the process of dying, you can better prepare yourself for the pain that is coming.

For me , it was as if I was walking with her around a bend & the sunlight was shining in my eyes so that I couldn’t see what was coming, & BOOM , just like that she was gone. Yes, guilt over not being able to know something was wrong with them. If only they could tell us, I wish.

I just bumped into an old highschool friend of mine at church & she told me @ how her first Boxer who was only 6 years old, died suddenly, no signs, just let out a whelp, collapsed & was gone. Out of all of the dogs she’s had through the years, she said that was the hardest death she ever dealt with. Its blindsiding. Thanks for sharing tidbits @ your girl, she reminds me of mine.

Dogsarepeopletoo

Registered:
Posts: 106
 #25 
When I was young, I married a man who had a mountain of a dog (St. Bernard/Pyrenees cross). He was huge. Big entertainment was to give him part of a sandwich -- he would chew and chew and chew, those big ole jowls working away forever. Then at the very end, he would lean over and very delicately spit out the lettuce. It was HILARIOUS. We never figured out how he managed to swallow the bread, cheee, meat, tomatoe but not swallow the lettuce.

I agree -- a sudden passing adds a dimension of shock and denial to a death. And it seems relatively uncommon. I had a friend whose dog died suddenly (she was an older dog); and I can think of two cats that belonged to friends (both cats were in their prime). But most seem to be euthanized due to illness. And that adds a dimension to the death, as well. Aieee. I suppose there are the tragic deaths -- cars, poison, etc.

How awful for your friend. Heartbreaking. We were SO thankful we were at home when Annie collapsed; and we have an emergency vet close by. We traveled with her a lot; often in very remote areas of Oregon. It would have even AWFUL to be out there with her like that. There are things to be thankful for, I suppose.

This morning I sat on our deck and watched two tiny fawns scamper around with their mother nearby. It was so lovely and heartwarming to watch their cuteness. I guess we have to focus on those moments.

skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #26 
I guess today is going to be another bad one. I didn't want to get up. I'm so nervous with anxiety.
I'm already crying my eyes out. I don't know why I'm so ready to blame myself. I think it might be because I think I can control everything. I feel like I let him down. But I didn't think he was that sick.
Many of his symptoms are attributed to Prednisone. He was better the day before he died.
He was eating and barking and had more energy.
Then the next morning he was sick again and that's when I took him in. I just don't know it's so sad. I always seem to think something can be done. It doesn't help at all to blame myself it just makes it more painful. I don't know how I will get through this. I really have no friends I can talk to.
I try to be the best person I can but it just isn't enough.
pb313

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Posts: 104
 #27 
SKMK,
I am so sorry for your loss. Dickens sounds like a beautiful boy. Thinking of you.
Paula
Chris79

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Posts: 4
 #28 
First, I’m so sorry about your sweet boy and hope your feeling a little better every day.
I just put my sweet girl down a few days ago, and it seems we have very similar stories. She had been on steroids for a while to treat Shar Pei fever. She had been basically healthy and happy up until a few weeks ago. She suddenly became sick and her vet and the animal hospital couldn’t explain or find any reason for it. I made the horrible decision to put her down and now am just sick over it. I literally feel so heavy I can barely stand up sometimes. Why were there no answers and why was she suddenly so sick after being perfectly fine. I feel some peace in knowing I’m not alone. I’m completely devastated over this and literaly feel sick. I constantly don’t know if I made the right decision. My heart aches with you.
skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #29 
Oh Chris 79 I am so so sorry for your loss. It does sound like we have similar stories. It's almost 2 weeks for me and I don't feel any better. I feel sick like you, I can't eat I only feel like sleeping. I'm so depressed and missing Dickens. I still can't believe what happened to him and how fast it happened.
I never thought he was that sick. He seemed better the day before he died. I wish I had some magic words for you that would take the pain away. It takes time. I blame myself for not realizing the seriousness of his illness sooner.
I thought it was side effects from the Prednisone and cut the meds down. He seemed better but next day was sick again. I took him in . They just didn't have enough time with him because he died on his own. Hang in there Chris. Be kind to yourself. Let your emotions out. I understand all too well what you're going through. Talk as much as you want on this forum. We all understand.
Wishing you peace.
Susan
rnj79

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Posts: 13
 #30 
SKMK,

I am so very sorry about Dickens. How are you today? I hope you have been able to find some kind of peace, even if it is just a little.

Your story hits soo close to home for me. We also lost our sweet doxie, Abby (13 yrs old), one week ago yesterday. She was fine when we went to bed Friday night, but woke up very sick (severe vomiting) Saturday morning. She started having seizures that night. She was gone Monday. No real answers. Our vet's best guess based on her age and symptoms is that she had a slow-growing brain tumor. She, too, endured a lifetime of IVDD, as is common with dachshunds. In May, she had another round of what we thought were back issues so our vet put her on another round of Prednisone and Gabapentin. Dr. Laurie did tell me that the cause of all her most recent "back issues" could have been caused by a tumor but I dismissed it. Why would it be a tumor when she's battled spinal and neck problems her whole life? It didn't make sense. Looking back, now it does. The episode back in May was probably the beginning of her end. We just didn't know it at the time.

The end of our babies lives both ended abruptly and the fact that they are both dachshunds really pulls at my heartstrings. I'll never own another breed. We also have another dachshund, Boudreaux. He is 7 years old and really misses his sister.

I hope this forum helps you. I stumbled upon it almost 9 years ago after we lost our first doxie, Moe, tragically. This site and help from the Lord above are what has made it possible to even get out of bed.

Sending you big huge hugs!
~RNJ79
skmk

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Posts: 93
 #31 
Hello RNJ79,
Thank you for responding. I'm very sorry to hear of your loss of your dachshund. They are such great dogs. We both lost them very fast and it's so easy to second guess ourselves. I get stuck on that.
All the what if's and why didn't I do that. I never would have guessed he was that sick. Then I wonder if the vet should have examined him better.
But it does us no good to blame ourselves. It's just that hind sight is 20/20. But I guess we're really not being fair to ourselves. I've lost so many pets this year I'm thinking perhaps I shouldn't have any more. I love them but when this time comes I can't handle it or accept it. I have much love to give so it's sad to think of never having another pet. I'm not doing well at all today. My 17 year old cat is having surgery for a bladder tumor. I have no idea what's going to happen. I suppose I'll feel guilty for putting her through it but she doesn't act old.
Please whoever reads this say a little prayer. I believe in giving my pets a chance if the vet says they have one. Thank you all. I know what you are all going through. It's so hard. I am so depressed
I'm not interested in anything else. The TV will sometimes occupy my mind. I wish you all well.
Bless you,
Skmk
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