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Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #1 
It is three weeks tomorrow since I have lost my little staffy Skye. She became ill very quickly and we had 24 hours to make the decision of putting her to sleep. We only put our other little staffy Cassie to slreep 16months ago so I am devastated. I was only just starting to accept Cassie leaving us and not crying every day for her and now Skye has gone. I 'm so sad and feel so empty. She helped me through Cassi's passing and was such a beautiful girl. They were both like my children as we got them when our children left home. Sometimes I just scream with such sadness that they aren't with us anymore. I have read lots of people's sorrow on this site. It helps to know that other people feel the same way and I'm not alone.
I need to communicate with other people about this dreadful sorrow.
Kacy

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Posts: 34
 #2 
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your two babies.  I can very much relate as we lost two of our girls within a little over a year's time also.  They were also adopted after our kids left home.  While we have other dogs that we love dearly, these two were our lap dogs and my husband and I had a special bond with them - him with one and me with the other.

I can't say it gets any easier.  While I can't accept that they are gone, I have resigned myself to that fact - if that makes any sense.

I find that very few people really understand.  They feel after a certain period of time - a few weeks or so - you should be moving on.  While I am going on with my life, it is more going thru the motions sometimes.  I'm not the same person I was before our loss and I don't think I will ever be.

I wish there were some wise words to say to make you feel better, but I don't know of any.  It does help to be with others who understand on forums such as this one. 

Some people are able to remember the good times, but I find that only makes me miss them more.

Mary
cakes488

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Posts: 114
 #3 
I too know the pain of losing 2 beloved pets within a short period of time.  I adopted 2 brothers Fat Puss and Little Puss...they lived all their days together and they ended up dying 6 weeks apart...it was so difficult.  If I didn't have other pets at home I don't know what I would of done...but even with another cat, a dog and a ferret there I still felt the emptiness. 
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #4 
Thank you both for your lovely words.i also feel that some people expect you to get over it in a few weeks. It's almost like there is a time limit on the grieving process.
They were both my heart babies. I loved them both so very much and when we put our first girl Cassie to sleep my world came crashing down. I went through the motions of every day life but it was a very surreal feeling and I realised I had lost my contentment with my life because a member of our family had gone. And now Skye has gone. I am so empty and lonely for my girl. She was my life line when Cass went and we forged a stronger bond than what we already had. And now the house is so quiet and empty without her. She followed me everywhere and I took her with me whenever I could. We are going away this weekend and she was coming with us. I was so excited and now it's just not the same. I know that their spirits are with me and I can feel their presence with me and they can go anywhere with me now. But I still want to cuddle and kiss them physically.
Kerrie(Cassie and Skye's Mum)
tuppyanne

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Posts: 20
 #5 
Sending you big hugs. I know it's so hard as we make our pest so much a part of our lives. I lost my dog nearly 2 weeks ago. We have another, but it is so strange and alien without Jen. She was my special bond. I had her when I lost my first dog and helped to heal a big hurt. Stay strong, let the tears fall if that's what you need to do. To have and love like this makes us special people and our dogs were lucky to feel the love we gave, even if it hurts like this xxx
tuppyanne

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Posts: 20
 #6 
Sending you big hugs. I know it's so hard as we make our pest so much a part of our lives. I lost my dog nearly 2 weeks ago. We have another, but it is so strange and alien without Jen. She was my special bond. I had her when I lost my first dog and helped to heal a big hurt. Stay strong, let the tears fall if that's what you need to do. To have and love like this makes us special people and our dogs were lucky to feel the love we gave, even if it hurts like this xxx
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #7 
You are right Tuppyanne. It is a special love between our dogs. Sometimes I felt that I loved them too much and when the day came for them to leave us I would be absolutely in consolable. I'm sorry for your loss. It is so raw at this early stage and the grief is all consuming. I try to think of them with happiness but at the moment when I do think of them I have such a feeling of loss. iIt is especially so with the recent loss of Skye. A little like when you lost your first dog and she helped heal you. Skye helped me when Cassie went and we became more bonded than before. And now the house is so quiet. Even though she was 13 and slept a lot she was always there and followed me around and fed the chooks with me and walked up the driveway to pick the paper up and went out shopping with me. We spent most of my spare time together. When I got ready for work she knew and would look so sad but she knew her Dad would be home soon and spoil her with half of his steak for dinner as well as her own food. I have such lovely memories of both of them and I know their spirits are with me but some days I have such a physical yearning to touch and cuddle and kiss them. Xxx
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,817
 #8 
Dear Kerrie,
When I read your words: "Sometimes I felt that I loved them too much..."  I had to write because I thought that very same thing... many, many times I would lean over my Lee Lee as she rested in her spot on the couch... wrapping my arms around her in a hug... drinking in her sweet scent and I would think to myself... "I love you too much"... I even said it out loud on at least one occasion... I didn't even realize that I had spoken until my Mother, who was there in the room, replied... "Yes... you do."  I still do...

I understand too the feelings of extreme loss that you feel as you try to direct your thoughts to the good times.... even after well over 2 years.... I feel that... the pleasure of remembering has been ripped away... the memories only remind me of what I know longer have... her...

I wish peace for your heart and mind... I know how hard it is... trying to get thru the long empty days....
Hugs,
Melanie
~Lee Lee's Mama~
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #9 
I am feeling very sad today. We are going away for a few days and our lovely girl was supposed to be coming with us. I was so excited to be taking her and kept telling her we were going on a holiday. She loved to go in the car with us and even more when she knew she wasn't going to be left behind. She always knew when we were going away because she would see us pack our bags. When we couldn't take her with us we would pack our bags when she was asleep and put them in another room so it wouldn't upset her. I hated leaving her behind on those occasions even though my parents came and stayed and looked after her.
It is such a beautiful day today and she would have been outside taking advantage sniffing around all the smells of the kangaroos and bandicoots that are on our property. I know her and Cassie's spirits are out there and it gives me great comfort to know they are together.
I'm sure they will be with us in spirit on our break and we will think of them all the time.
Kerrie(Cassie and Skye's Mum)
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #10 
It's 4 weeks today since my darling girl went to Rainbow Bridge. I can't believe it has been so long but at the same time just like yesterday. I still cry all the time and feel like I am going through the motions of everyday living. Nothing feels right. It's so hard to go to work sometimes. Even though it keeps my mind occupied I still think of her and get teary. I know I was like this when Cassie left us 16 months ago. When she went I never had that same sense of contentment I used to have and now Skye has gone it's even worse. It's so exhausting and emotionally draining. I can't remember her yet without feeling so sad and such a sense of loss. I know it will get worse before it starts to ease a little. I was still crying some days for Cass right up until we lost Skye and now I cry for both of them.

We got back from our little trip away yesterday. I was teary and sad most of the time. And really just wanted to be home. I still haven't put her things away yet. I'm finding it so hard to do it. It will be strange not having her little bed there where she used to eat her dental stick every night. It's raining today. The sort of day that my girls would have been curled up on the lounge with me in between giving them hugs and scratches. I love you both so much girls and I know you will be having fun at Rainbow Bridge. I can always feel your spirits around me. You have sent me little signs so please keep doing that. Love you.

Kerrie(Cassie and Skye's Mum)
TZRB

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Posts: 46
 #11 
I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard enough to lose one, but to lose another so soon is just way too much. My heart goes out to you. I have been there I lost three in less than a year. I still shed tears 13 years later.
Ten days ago I had to put a baby to sleep that I had little warning. From his first limp until his diagnoses was 16 days. A specialist confirmed 9 days later and less than two later he was gone. From playing ball and active to invasive bone cancer and gone in less than a month.
The pain will never go away for you but it will ease. Being here will help you. This is a soft p,ace to land with people who understand and will help. Only time and understanding will help. Please know that people do understand and care❤️
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #12 
I am visiting a friend interstate. Felt like I needed to get away for a week. The house is so quiet without our girl and my friend understands how I feel.
Had a terry day today. Thought I was starting to get a little better but it all came flooding back today. I keep telling myself that it will get easier but the empty feeling is there all the time. I go to sleep thinking of her and she is the first thing I think of when I wake up. I spoke to hubby this evening and he is missing her a lot as well. He keeps expecting her to appear or be asleep on the lounge. They become such a part of our lives. I miss you girls and love you lots. Look after each other at Rainbow Bridge.
Kerrie ( Cassie and Skye's Mum)
annabear

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Posts: 14
 #13 
Kerrie, I am so sorry for your losses. I understand how you feel as I lost my dog of 16 years a few months ago. Even now, I struggle with her being gone. I thought that time might heal all wounds but sometimes there are days where I feel worse, like a part of me is always missing. Hang in there, you are not alone in feeling this way.
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #14 
I'm home from visiting my friend interstate.it was so nice to spend special time with my closest friend. She is so supportive and I could talk to my hear't content. I still have these fleeting moments of feeling excited at seeing her and then I remember that she has gone. It is such a fleeting feeling but for that split second all feels right with world because she is still with us. I miss her physically. I know that her spirit is all around us but I want to be able to touch her and cuddle her. The feeling overwhelms me sometimes and I still can't believe she has gone. I feel like I am stuck on a track of a record and can't go forward some days. The same things just keep going around in my head. I will be reminded of her by such small things and I will just start crying. Some days I feel like all I do is cry. I am going to put all her things away soon but then I feel like I am erasing her existence but at the same time looking at them hurts so much. Such a mish mash of feelings. I know it will eventually ease as it did when we lost our first girl but it is so awful going through it and seems to take such a long time even to feel half way human again. I miss you my beautiful girls.
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #15 
Have had a very tears weekend. I think about her all the time. It seems everything I do reminds me of her. She was such a huge part of our lives. My hubby misses her a lot too.. Our girls were like our children. I miss them both so much. The weather is so cold and miserable and I miss cuddling up to them. I keep remembering walking with them and getting caught in the rain and how Cassie would lag behind and Skye would be going ahead. I have put away Skye's bed but not her other things yet. I remember it took a long time to put away Cassie's things when she left us. I have a friend who keeps asking me when I'm going to get another dog. She just can't seem to understand that I can't even think of that at the moment. I just can't replace them like that. Maybe one day we will. I know that my girls will send me another if it is to be.
I know they are watching over us and they would be sad to see me crying as they used to hate seeing me upset and would sit with me and lick me and be so loving. I want to be able to remember them without tears. My friend that I visited interstate put a lot of photos and videos of the girls onto a CD. I can't watch it yet. I will one day but at the moment it would be too painful. My friend is so beautiful. Like she said I will know when the time is right to watch it.
we are going to get a plaque in memory of the girls and put it on our property in the place that was their favourite spot where Cassie used to forage in the grass trees and Skye used to sit for long periods just looking and contemplating. Cassis was a doer and got into all sorts of things. Skye was the thinker.
I love you girls and miss you every day. You made our lives complete on our beautiful property. I know you are here in spirit and I must take comfort from this. Look after each other and have fun in Rainbow Bridge.
Sue_56

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Posts: 182
 #16 
Hi
I went online and found a company called Talkimg Stones. I have a beautiful river stone with Joey's name and DOB on it and I have placed it under his favourite Palm tree in the garden. It is comforting to me to have somewhere to sit and remember. I understand your pain and how hard it is without them.
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #17 
To my beautiful girls Cassie and Skye,
I remember when you were little pups. You were both so cute and adorable. We got you first Cass and the next day after getting you we thought we were going to lose you. You got sick and had to stay in the vets and have a drip for a couple of days. The vet used to let us visit you and even though we had had you only a very short time you recognised our voices . Even the vet was surprised. We brought you home with such happiness that you had survived. You were such a little brindle staffy There was only you and your brother in the litter. But even though you were only little you made up for it.You were into everything and chewed anything you could find. And so determined! We used to shake our heads in despair some days but then you would look at us with your big eyes and we would cave in with forgiveness. Remember when you would escape out the front door if it was left open by mistake. And you would run into the neighbours garden and we would be on hands and knees trying to entice you out from under a bush. You were hard work at times but oh so worth it. Then we decided to get you a companion and we got you darling Skye. You were pure white when we got you and as you got older you developed black spots. So cute.you were the quiet one although at times I think you egged Cass on to do naughty things. Just like a pair of kids. From an early age we could see you were going to be quite a lot bigger than Cass but you were beautiful looking girls and many people would comment on you when we walked you. Mum's heart used to swell with pride my beautiful girls. We had our hands full when you were both young as there was only 8 months difference in age but it was worth it. You gave us so much love and laughter and fun. You filled the void when our kids left home.
I love you so much my beautiful girls. Miss you every minute of every day. Xxxx
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #18 
I feel like I am falling into a heap at the moment. It has been 6 weeks since I lost my second heart dog Skye and I feel worse than ever. When I lost Cass 16 months ago the world fell out from under my feet. Up until the time of Skye's passing I was still missing her a lot and still had teary days. I think I am worse this time. Not because I loved Skye anymore than Cass but I had Skye to help me. Now there is no little dog to fill help fill the void and I feel so bereft without either of them. The house is so quiet and everywhere I look something reminds me of them. I miss them lying in bed with me and at weekends we would read the paper in bed while they lay stretched out beside us. I miss Cass's "talking" to us. I miss the way Skye knew that I was getting biscuits out of the tin. Even if she was outside she could smell them and would come racing inside to have one. I miss the way Cass would get all excited when I brought the shopping in from the car as she knew there would always be a treat for them. I miss the way Skye would race through the doggy door in the morning and race around our property and then come skidding back through the door all pleased with herself. So many things. My head is so full of them. I know I'm so lucky to have had all the years with them but at the moment I can't accept that they have gone and left such a hole in my life. I don't have much motivation for all the things I love like my gardening and bush walking and cooking. I want to get back my love of life but without the girls it just doesn't feel right with the world. I have lost my contentment at the moment. I am hoping with time that it will ease and I will find some peace of mind. I couldn't bear to feel like this forever and I know my girls would not want this for me.
Love you my babies. I know you will be having fun at Rainbow Bridge and watching out for each other.
Sue_56

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Posts: 182
 #19 
Six weeks isn't long at all. I keep telling myself that I was lucky to have Joey for 11 and a half years and that I should focus on those years, but I miss his little presence so much.  I have been going to work and functioning but my love of life and my happiness has been put on hold. I just can't imagine my future without him and sometimes I feel so anxious because I should be feeling better not worse.
I hope you find the motivation eventually to do the things you love and find some peace of mind from your memories. We love our little friends so much, of course it is going to devastate us when they're no longer here.
Take care
Sue
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #20 
It is such a beautiful day today. Although it's cool the sun is shining and everything looks so fresh. I can't believe it's nearly Spring. You would have been running outside girls, sniffing for rabbits and kangaroos. You used to love getting under the grass trees and rummaging around. We had to watch you closely in the summer because of snakes. It's a strange feeling now when I go out because I don't have to hurry home. Even though I knew you were safe at home I never lingered too long away as I wanted to be home with youI remember the four of us going for a long walk one day and it started raining. Cass you were so funny because you hated the rain and refused to walk any further. I had to sit and give you a pep talk! And Skye you just wanted to keep going and kept tugging for Dad to keep walking and looking daggers at Cass as if to say " stop being such a sook". There were so many times that you made us laugh with your antics. Miss you my darlings but I know your spirits are all around us. Have a wonderful day with all your friends at Rainbow Bridge. Xxxxxx
Sue_56

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Posts: 182
 #21 
Hi Kerrie
I knew when you mentioned snakes and kangaroos you must have been in Australia.  Your girls must have loved life on a property, how lucky they were to have you and your husband to care for them. I understand what you're saying about not staying away too long because you wanted to get home to them. I never went anywhere after work, wouldn't even get my hair done because I knew Joey would be waiting by the gate and I wanted him inside and safe. Now I find myself continuing that pattern because it has been my routine for so long, only he isn't waiting for me and it breaks my heart. I hope you're feeling a little better each day.
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #22 
Another weekend has passed. The weather was beautiful and very warm for winter. I kept busy all weekend and did gardening which was nice as I haven't done much lately. Hubby and I chose a memorial plaque to put in the garden for the girls. I thought I was doing quite well keeping myself busy and then last night it all came flooding back and I couldn't sleep and couldn't stop crying. I miss them so much and Skye's passing is still so raw. It will be 7 weeks tomorrow and I can't believe it. Sometimes it feels just like yesterday and others it feels like forever. I am going to put the rest of her things away this week. I have put her bed away but not her water and food bowl or their little biscuit barrel that I kept their treats in. I haven't been able to do it because it seems so final and like erasing all evidence of their existence. I know that is silly because I have their photos and memories.
I keep remembering little things about you girls. Like the time you ate all our Christmas chocolates that were gifts for people. You got into our walk in robe and I had all the presents on the floor and you sniffed out the chocolates and ripped the wrapping and ate all of them. I wondered what you were doing because I had missed you for a while and went looking for you and there you were busily munching on chocolate. If it hadn't been so dangerous it would have been funny. You both looked at me guiltily with chocolate all over your faces. I rang the vet and was reassured that you would be ok but to observe you closely. All was well thankfully and when I remember your little faces when I caught you it brings a smile to my face.
I miss you so much girls. Nothing feels the same and some days it feels so hard to lead a normal life but I know your spirits are with me and you would want me to be happy. You were such happy girls and full of love for us. Love you beautiful girls.
Sue_56

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Posts: 182
 #23 
Hi Kerrie
I am smiling reading your post about the Christmas chocolates, thank goodness they were okay afterwards. Grief comes in waves doesn't it. I find I am okay at work, so busy and no time to think. But as soon as I get in my car to drive home I start to think and usually end up crying. I still have Joey's things where they were except for the food and water bowls. I couldn't bear to look at them, but his bed, scratching post and litter tray still sit where they were. It's five weeks today and yet it feels like yesterday, I understand how you feel about "leading a normal life," sometimes it just doesn't seem possible because I am so sad all the time. I am glad you have chosen a plaque, it is nice to have somewhere to sit and reflect on their lives and to just say hello.
I hope if anything we can find some peace in our memories.
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #24 
7 weeks today since you left us Skye. Still can't believe it. Still have those nanosecond feelings that catch me at times that you are still with us. It has been 72 weeks since you left us Cass and I still grieve for you so much. I remember giving you your baths. You used to drink the water Cass and Skye would lift her legs to be washed. You loved your bath because you were such a water baby Skye. And when you had finished you would both run through the house playing together. Even though you scratched our timber floors we didn't mind as you couldn't notice the scratches and I would never remove them as they remind me of the happy times you had and the laughter you gave us.
I know you are both happy and healthy now at Rainbow Bridge. But it doesn't stop me from missing you. Love you both so much. Xxx
NancyMarie

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Posts: 1,170
 #25 

Dear Kerrie,

I’m so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Cass and Skye.  I couldn’t help but smile when I read the story about the chocolates, I could just picture that, such precious memories.  As you mentioned sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday and other times it feels like forever.  I lost my beloved cat Smudgie almost a year and half ago and there are days that I feel like she was just here and other days it feels like it’s been so very long since I’ve seen her pretty little face.  It truly is so very hard to lead a normal life, but I guess for now we have to do the best we can;  we keep their memory alive but writing about them here, we keep remembering all of their precious memories,  we carry them in our hearts forever and we always remember that their sweet spirit is right by our side.

 Wishing you peace, comfort and beautiful sweet dreams of your Cass and Skye

 Sending healing hugs your way.

 Nancy, Angel Smudgie’s Mom and Mom to Calie, Sparky and Jade

Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #26 
It's 73 weeks today since Cassie left us. I was out walking and feeling sad and teary when I realised that I have been feeling like this for such a long time. From the time that Cass was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2013. We looked after her and spent every spare minute with her that we could. She left us in March 2014 and it was so hard to let her go. We then had 15 more months with our other beautiful girl Skye who left us in June 2015. Skye became sick very suddenly either with a brain haemorrhage or a brain lesion and we had to make our decision very quickly to put her to sleep.We were so lucky that our friend who is a vet came to our house with both the girls and they left us peacefully in their own favourite places with us with them. So hence the feeling that I have been sad for so long. The days that I'm very busy at work or out doing things are bearable but when I'm home and alone I miss them so much. I have decided to try and do some different things and become involved in some community activities. I'm hoping some new challenges will help me through this time of grieving.
Love you girls. Miss you. Thinking of you in Rainbow Bridge. Xxxx
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #27 
Another weekend over. I kept busy most of it. Did gardening and went for a bushwalk but I still felt teary and sad. Missing you both a lot. I am feeling very flat at the moment. I'm trying to work through this but some days are much worse than others. I have put all your things away Skye except your treats barrel. Every time I think about doing it I feel that all trace of you will be gone. I'm so higgelty piggelty with my feelings. Some days both of your presence is so strong. I can almost see you and smell you. This feeling of loss is so over powering and so hard to describe. I can't bear it sometimes. I know that I just have to go with it and accept it.
While I was bush walking yesterday I was remembering all the times we took you out with us. We took you out to one of the Wheatbelt towns in the wild flower season and went for a beautiful wallk. And we stopped by a lovely lake and we all shared lunch. You were both so tired and content after your big walk. When we went walking along the river you would always have a big swim Skye. You loved the water. Cassie you would just paddle and get your feet wet. You both loved the beach. We always took your ball with us and you would spend ages chasing the ball along the beach or into the water. Both of you would have done it for hours if we had let you.
It will be eight weeks tomorrow since you left us Skye. I am teary as I write this. I just can't believe it's been that long but at the same time feels like yesterday as does your passing Cass.
I don't think my life will ever be the same no matter how much time passes. There will always be that sense of contentment you girls gave me missing.
Love you both so much. Xxx
Sue_56

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Posts: 182
 #28 
Keep talking Kerrie I enjoy reading about the life of your heart dogs. I agree with you, I don't think our lives will ever be the same and I understand that overpowering sense of loss. Sometimes it hits like a sledgehammer and leaves me back at day one. If it's any comfort to you, reading your posts tells me Cass and Skye had a wonderful, active and fun filled life. How true are the words 'great love brings great grief'.
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #29 
74 weeks today since you've been gone Cass my beautiful girl.I still think of you every day. I still remember cuddling you and telling you what a special girl you were. Your fur was so soft and silky. . You and Skye used to snuggle up together when you slept. You loved each other so much. When you left us Cass, Skye missed you and became very quiet. I cried all the time and she would try and comfort me. I used to tell her what a special girl she was too. We ordered your garden plaque yesterday girls. Will get it in about a week. It will be nice to have a place to sit and remember.
Miss you so much. Love you so much. Xx
Sue_56

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Posts: 182
 #30 
Hi Kerrie
It is nice to have somewhere in the garden to sit and visit. On the weekends I go outside with my coffee and sit by the palm tree where Joey slept most days and where his memorial stone is. I talk to him and usually shed some tears. I have been so emotional the last few days, ever since I saw 'Boots' online. I understand why your husband is thinking of getting another dog and I understand why you think it's too soon. I am torn between the two and hadn't even considered the idea until I was shown the photos of the poor little ones who were saved from being put down.
I hope you have a peaceful weekend, take care.
Sue
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #31 
It's Sunday night and I have had a very busy weekend socially. We have been out to dinner and to the football. And even though I was occupied I still felt teary at times. I was putting snail pellets on our garden and all of a sudden started crying because now I can put them anywhere and before when you were with us I would only have put them in certain places that you could not get to. And I would rather have you both with us than plants that were not eaten by snails! We were driving home from the football and I got teary because we went past Bunnings and I remembered all the times I had taken you there when I had stopped in to get something. Sometimes I think I'm never going to get over this. Towards the end of last week I was feeling a little better but now I feel like I am at the beginning again.
Oh girls I do miss you so much. I am lying in bed at the moment and I can hear the magpies carolling and I can feel both of your presence so much. Look after each other. Love you so much.
Sue_56

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Posts: 182
 #32 
Those memory triggers are cruel aren't they. I see so many families with their dogs at Bunnings and I have seen more than once the dog and the dad have a sausage sizzle. It always makes me smile to see that bond. One step forward, two steps back and hopefully, eventually, keep going forward. It's all just so damn hard but worth every last minute because I would rather have that love and joy and suffer the loss, than not have them at all.
I hope one day your memories bring you peace and not sadness, I wish that for all of us.
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #33 
I can't believe it's 9 weeks today since you left us darling Skye. The first day of spring and what a beautiful day. The sun is shining and a gentle breeze is blowing. This is what I call a Cassie and Skye day as you both would have been outside exploring or sleeping in the warm sunshine. I went for a walk this morning and saw all the black cockatoos in the trees and I remembered how you would both bark madly when they were in the trees by our house making a huge noise. And how the magpies used to tease you and you would spend ages trying to catch up to them. But they always outsmarted both of you. I passed lots of puddles on my walk this morning and when you walked with me Skye you had to have a paddle and drink out of every one of them. Your paws would be so wet and muddy by the end of our walk. And all the times you would roll in the sheoak needles. You loved doing that. All these memories come flooding back and I get so teary because I miss you both so much. Some days I physically ache to hold you and be with you. I know we had a long and happy life together but I wish we could have had longer but it would never have been long enough. I love you my beautiful girls. Mum sends you lots of kisses. Xxxx
Lasweetbaby33

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Posts: 377
 #34 
Dear Mygirls,

I'm so sorry you had to lose both your girls One behind the other can't even imagine how you are feeling now. I'm sorry I'm a little late on reading your story, but if you don't mind how did you lose your girls? I read that one of them you had to put her down due that she was ill it just breaks my heart reading stories like this. But just wanted to respond to your post and let you know that you are not alone on your grief and that everyone in here understands what you are going through, and is always here to support you and listen to whatever you feel like sharing with us. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and let me say that all your lovely letters you are writing to your girls are writing with all your love you have for them I enjoy reading them hope I'm able to read some more.


~Mayra (Princess & Blanca's mommy)
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #35 
Hi Mayra,
Thank you for your kind words. This site is such a comfort to me . So nice to know there are so many people such as yourself that understand what we are all going through.
My first girl Cassie got lymphoma and we put her on medications and we nursed her for 4 months before we put her to sleep. She was such a determined little girl. Nearly all of those 4 months she was happy and coped well but we knew when it was time for her to leave us. It was such a hard decision. Our second girl Skye became sick very quickly. It was either a brain heamorrhage or brain lesion. She was in perfect health and woke up one morning and couldn't walk properly and did not eat or drink. She got a lot worse over the next 24hours so we had to make that terrible decision to put her to sleep. It was a great shock to us and I still can't accept it. They were both 13 years old so we had a long and wonderful time together but of course it is never long enough is it? I miss them so much.
Your loss is so sad. It must have been such a huge shock for you to lose your baby like that. We have to take each day one at a time and get through grieving as best we can.
My heart is with you. Take care.
Kerrie (Cassidy and Skye's Mum)
Sue_56

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Posts: 182
 #36 
Yes Kerrie grief is exhausting, I hate it. It's like an emotional roller coaster and I never could handle those rides. I was thinking about my feelings when my dad passed. I picked Joey up from the shelter when I heard dad had lung cancer and three months later dad passed away at home, surrounded by his family. I know I grieved deeply for him and it took awhile but I guess because he was 79 and he died peacefully at home I was at peace with it. My way to grieve is with music. I remember playing John Williamson (and I am not a fan) over and over, night after night, because we played his songs at dad's funeral. But with Joey it is different. I feel guilty because I didn't give him one more lot of antibiotics, I feel guilty because I didn't stay with him and I feel like I cheated him out of a few more years of life. I want to go back and start over but I can't. You're right about our time together with our animals, it is never long enough. Sorry if I am rambling.
I feel so sad about Skye. The shock alone of having a perfectly healthy dog one minute and the next morning to find her that way must have been terrible. There is no time to prepare yourself for that and it's no wonder you can't accept it.
I was wondering if your memorial plaque had arrived? I hope you find peace knowing you have somewhere to visit your girls.
Sue

Lasweetbaby33

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Posts: 377
 #37 
Hello again Kerrie,

Awww How sad it just hurts me to read fur-babies passing away due to terrible illness. I can't even imagine how hard it is for you guys to be able to take the decision to put your babies down. Poor baby Skye I couldn't even imagine what she was feeling one minute she was doing great and in less than 24 hours she was feeling horrible. I never been trough this type of solution but I bet it must be really hard to let go of your babies especially if you had many memories with them. May I ask what type pets where both your girls? Do you happen to have any pictures on your profile so I'm able to meet them. I know it's really hard I also miss my baby girl so much but what's helping me out a little bit is my new baby girl her name is Blanca and she happens to be Princess sister, so at least I know I have a little piece of her by my side. I hope someday you are able to open your heart to a new pet that's if you don't have any if you do they are a lot of help with helping us with the cope that we are feeling towards the loss of our baby that we just lost. if it wasn't for my baby Blanca now I don't know if I would of ever resisted the passing of my other baby princess. But thanks to my new baby I'm getting there but it still doesn't mean I don't miss my baby because I really do. I hope that my princess and your two girls Cassie and Skye have had the opportunity to meet each other and hope they are watching over us as we know we are missing them so much. Take care and I know it's now easy right now but with each other's help we are able to get through this.


~ Mayra
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #38 
75 weeks since you've been gone Cass. Still think of you every day and still shed tears for you. Losing you and Skye within 15 months of each other has been a hard journey and will continue to be hard for quite a while. I have so many wonderful memories of you that keep me going. You were such a little brindle staffy but you packed a punch. So full of life. Even when you were sick you made your presence known. You were still nosy and followed me everywhere in case you missed out on something. Skye was a lot bigger than you. A beautiful white staffy. You used to lie together cuddled up on our lounge. I have such lovely photos of you like this. You would lick each other's ears and play together. I am crying as I write this as you were both such happy little girls and truly loved each other. Cassie, Skye missed you so much when you left us. She looked for you for a long time. But even though she was sad she comforted me so much. She even took on some of your mannerisms almost as if she was trying to keep a little bit of you alive.
I've had a few bad days this week with missing you both so much. Be good girls and remember you are always with me. Love you my darlings. Xx
Mygirls

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Posts: 171
 #39 
Skye it has been 10 weeks today since you left us. I miss you and Cass so much but your loss is still very raw. I still can't believe you are gone some days. I still have that nanosecond feeling that you are still with us.I have had a very teary few days. Everything just seems to be getting on top of me. This terrible grief seems never ending. I am never going to have that feeling of contentment back that I had when you girls were with us.
The weather is beautiful and spring is here. I remember how you both loved laying in the warm sun. I would find you stretched out on our decking loving every minute of the warmth. You would follow us around outside while we mulched the garden. You used to make me laugh so much when you got in the mulch and dig big holes. You were both so determined to dig the biggest hole. We used to take you to the streams around our area and you would go for a swim. Such a beautiful time of the year for all of us. It is so lonely without you and even though I know you are both at peace I would just love to give you big cuddles.
We are still waiting for your plaques. It will be nice to put them in place and sit in the garden with the birds singing and have some quiet time remembering our times together.
So my beautiful girls look after each other and know that you are truly loved and missed so much. Xxxxxx
Sue_56

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Posts: 182
 #40 
Those words are beautiful kerrie. Those girls of yours had a wonderful life with you and your husband and in a beautiful place. It helps to have that special place in the garden where you can talk to them and cry if you need to. I planted some cat grass by Joey's memorial stone and wonder to myself why I didn't plant it before so he could enjoy it. It seems I question everything I did or didn't do, could have /should have. What I do know is that I loved him with all my heart and miss him terribly. Take care
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