Registered: 1287051825 Posts: 3
I had my baby girl fluffy (cat) spayed 2 weeks ago, the vets made a error and sliced a artery, 2 weeks later and 4 operations later i lost her.. she was one year and 3 months old... at home i already have her brother and sister and 3 of her sons.
Yesterday i burried her but now im full of guilt as shes outside in the cold when her family are in doors also im over come with guilt if i never got her spayed then she would be here with me still... someone help me... i just want to dig her up and bring her in where she belongs xxxxx
Registered: 1282484757 Posts: 72
Aw Mia, my heart is breaking for you. What happened is so seems unfair. Please don't blame yourself, I believe spaying is something kind we do for the animals we love so they don't have to listen to their hormones which get them into pain and trouble. I understand about your feelings of where her body is now, I felt the same after we buried our beautiful Megan 8 weeks ago, the only thing I could think of the first time it rained after her burial was her beautiful curls all wet but now I know that her body was just a physical carrier and her spirit is warm and dry and happy now forever more.
It feels like the loss is worse because our babies were taken so young (Megan was 5yrs and 3mths) but the pain is the same for those on here who lost their babies after a long life. Try to remember that you gave Fluffy all the love she needed and where she is now, she feels that love every moment. Take some comfort if you can from your other babies, hold them and talk to them about Fluffy. Know that you did everything in your power and knowledge to save her. I am so sorry for your loss and the awful way that Fluffy was taken from you physically. She will be with you in your heart and memory eternally. Claire xx
Registered: 1279288501 Posts: 564
I'm so sorry for your loss! I don't think it makes much difference if we have our precious pets for 1 year or 20 years....if we love them deeply, the pain and the grief are the same!!
You did all the right things, including having your baby spayed. No one could've predicted this kind of accident, and as I've come to learn from people here, some of the most quirky accidents have taken the lives of their pets. No one wished harm to them, nor was anything done on purpose. Sometimes, it just happens. Your sweet Fluffy is now with all of the other departed animals at the Rainbow Bridge, playing together and having the time of their lives. But, she is also still able to watch over you and to visit you from there. Know that she loves you for all the love you gave to her, and that someday you will be together again. I know it's hard to think about their precious bodies being underground, as are those of my two pups I lost this summer, but they are not there any longer! Tend to her grave, and treat it as a sacred site, but understand that her little spirit is free! I've found much comfort at this site. The support and people have been wonderful. I think it would be good to have you come back and receive the benefits that could be very helpful to you. As you start to feel like you can, we'd all like to hear more about your precious Fluffy! God Bless! Rick
Registered: 1287051825 Posts: 3
Im beginning to think that i should have had her cremated instead and have her ashes indoors where she belongs.... she was a indoor cat ... i really neeed some support over this, friends and family think i would be cruel to dig her up and get her cremated instead.
Registered: 1157161163 Posts: 1,821
i am so very sorry for your loss, she was so very young. Exhumming her to be cremated is not unkind to her, but you best brace yourself. Even one day in the warmth and dampness likely have taken a toll. The decision is yours, you are the one who will have to live with that decision. There is no "right" or "wrong" here - it is a very personal decision, and what is right for you is what is right. This is one of those issues that are a total pain with cats - they are usually so small and there are several areas where they are especially vulnerable. We are dealing with that right now ourselves. Our vet (who i trust implicitly) cleaned one of our babies ears - cats have fragile eardrums - some fluid managed to pass through her eardrums. There really is not a lot of distance between anything in a cat's head, the fluid inflamed one nerve affecting her eyes and got to her middle ears causing vertigo. She has been in 3 vet hospitals for several day stays under the care of 3 different vets 4 times in 2 weeks (she was at my vet's twice, the emergency vet's once, and at the vet school once). the problem will resolve with time as long as i can keep her safe until it does. My vet was up front that this all likely was from the ear cleaning, and the vet school agreed with the added comment that while not common it is always a possibility with cleaning cat ears. Will i continue to go to the same vet?, yes. Am i worried about my cat?, yes. But i know she needed her ears cleaned or she may have gotten an infection from dirty ears. Cats are small, and everything inside of them is small and close together. (Even with humans things sometimes go wrong) i guess the things to consider are did the vets there act quickly and appropriately to address her needs, did they admit to what went wrong or try to put the blame elsewhere, do you feel you can still trust them? Spaying is not a question in my mind - unwanted babies, deadly diseases that can be avoided by spaying, the misery of being in heat . . . . . . are all avoided by spaying. What happened is tragic and my heart breaks for you, but you acted in her best interest.
Registered: 1222403429 Posts: 1,982
That's just terrible. I am so very sorry for such a tragic loss. I know your heart is just breaking for your girl. Come here, share your feelings, all will help you through the best they can. We know the loss you are going through, but I can also share the guilt of taking her somewhere that ultimately ended her life.
I too had a terrible experience at the vet. We put our babies in their trust only to have our hearts shattered and filled us with guilt and remorse for taking them there. Months and months and months I went through it. I've never cried so much in my entire life. I'm telling you this in case you feel it was careless misconduct on the part of your vet. It may make you feel better to take action, even if only to speak up on behalf of your little one that lost her life as I did. Monetary recouse was not ever an issue, what did matter was I lost my little girl and why I lost her. What I did first was in a very nice way, meet with vet. I had a list of questions a mile long I needed answers too and he was quit accommodating not knowing my intent. After 6 weeks when I could think a little clearer between the tears. I reinforced my strength to proceed. I then contacted the Secretary of State to file a complaint against them. I had all the detail I needed now to proceed, and even took photos of where she was hurt in their offices. That made them a little nervous, but I did it quickly before they could think twice about it. I wanted him shut down until the issue that caused her situation was corrected so no others would lose their baby for the same reason. I wanted to hurt his business and reputation in the community knowing that would cause him the type of damage he would really "feel", as I did. The State Agency was very nice, sympathetic, guided me to a site to fill out the forms for the complaint. They proceeded with an investigation notifying the veterinarian they were being investigated. After the investigation, because there was no law on the books specifically regarding this situation, they found he had broken no law. Unbelievable. But I do hope the embarrassment of the investigation did some harm to his reputation with the governing board of the state. Right now I'm sure you can barely function, it's a very hard situation to deal with and the added guilt and remorse can become all consuming. You and I had no way of knowing, no way to even consider these situations could happen or we would never have put them in harm's way. Please take care. Sandie
Registered: 1286597349 Posts: 21
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I know too well how heartwrenching it is to lose our beloved animals, especially when something unexpected happens at the vets. Please do know this. You did the right thing having her spayed. Do not second guess yourself on that. You wanted to be a responsible pet owner and for her to have a healthy life. It is not your fault for what happened. She would forgive you, so please let yourself forgive yourself. I know it is easier said than done as guilt is something that I am currently working through as well. As far as having her cremated, I honestly don't see anything wrong with it. I have had my pets cremated over the years as I have ended up moving numerous times and would feel horrible leaving them in a yard that I could no longer visit. I take solace in having the little boxes on my desk and being able to move them with me. I know that you have already buried her and so what I would suggest is this: Really think it through if you are okay with her grave being disturbed as I'm sure you lovingly created a place for her body to rest in peace. Call ahead to an animal mortuary or a vet's office and make cremation arrangements so that you can bring in her remains that day. Be sure to ask for a "personal" or "private" cremation. I would also strongly consider having a family member or good friend do the body recovery and transportation for you so that you are spared that experience. You have been traumatized enough. Most of all, remember that the body is a beautiful vessel for a loving and kind spirit. When my Corgi passed away a week ago, I had asked the vet tech if I could come in and sit with her awhile. She gently reminded me that what I would see was no longer my Nora. "Nora isn't here anymore", she said. "Remember her warm and happy, not what you would see here". I wish you much peace and the strength to follow your heart. -Heather
Registered: 1282282893 Posts: 100
i am so sorry to hear of this traggic accident that happend to your baby! you had nothing to do with what happend.... your intentions where right. fluffy is around you and your family, just in a different way now... let her rest in peace where you burried her. i think it would be to much on anyone to go threw that pain of digging up her remains. (sorry i dont know how else to word that) her soul is no longer in that body. its all around you! i wish you peace with healing through this hard time and you and your family will be in my prayers.
Registered: 1177439097 Posts: 34
I don't know right from wrong - I've buried some and cremated other beloved family critters - in this situation, but I think Mimiluv has a point: Fluffy is in her place, and it's not in your yard - but in your heart. Digging her up might add another scar, maybe not if you really feel that her ashes would better rest elsewhere.
We are human and we make (including your vet, who it would appear, did all s/he could do to bring Fluffy back) mistakes. This was not your error; I agree with others you were doing the right thing. But knowing that you have, in your arms, her siblings and children, know that (much like a human) she leaves you with a gift of family and love that will stay with you for a long time. Relish in her spirit for she brought life and she will remain with you, in many ways, forever. -connie
Registered: 1287051825 Posts: 3
Thankyou all so much... all these messages from you brought tears to my eyes but its so nice to be able to talk about her.
Some of my family have used the phrase its only a cat but thats not true, she was my loyal companion who loved sleeping on my bed and rubbing her nose with mine. I decided to leave her where she is even though its heart wrenching when night time falls but i burried her in a t shirt that i wore the night before her buriel and i have some of her fur in a locket .. i like to think that way we are always together xxx
Registered: 1221253896 Posts: 1,191
Dear Mia, I am so sorry for your sudden loss of Fluffy. Please know that Fluffy's soul is warm and cozy up in Heaven. We understand your heartbreak and will be here to help you cope with this sad and sudden loss. Thank you for sharing sweet memories of your precious girl snuggling with you at night and rubbing her nose on your nose. My Jack ("The Flying Cat') likes to do that, too. May God Bless You and Keep You in His Care, Ceci's Mom (Robin) and Mama to Lil' Red, my precious boy and The Pinny Gig ~ and Earth Furchild, Jack ("The Flying Cat')
Registered: 1160118634 Posts: 113
((((((Mia)))))))))) I think that you did alot of thinking of what you should do, and your decision to leave you baby girl where she is is a good thing. While you wear your locket, you can always hold it closely to your heart and know all the good memories you had. You are in my prayers and thoughts. Fluffy will always be with you, and one night she will come to you in your dreams and you will know that she is okay and at the Rainbow Bridge, and have been made whole again. KeaElsa THERE ARE NEVER ANY GOOD BYES, ONLY WELL WISHES, TIL WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN