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michelledimarco

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Posts: 27
 #1 
I had to leave my baby girl behind. I can't imagine life without her 💔
buddy2k

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Posts: 103
 #2 
I know how you feel.  I hated New Year's Eve.  All I could think about was how happy I was last year when my Lilly was here.  I looked at the pictures I took from that night, and she was
sitting with us, right in between us all, enjoying the countdown with us.  I didn't take any pictures this year.
I cried as soon as I opened my eyes this morning.
I cried alot today. 
I'm heartbroken.
I too, can't imagine life without her.
She was my heartcat.  We were a pair.
Hugs for you

JBZmama

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Posts: 4
 #3 
I wish that there were words of wisdom that I could give. But, there are none. Know that you are not alone. I found a tuft of Jenny's hair today, and I only cried for an hour or so. Choosing to believe that she left it for me to find. I can't even vacuum my bedroom because I can still smell her and I can't lose that too.
michelledimarco

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Posts: 27
 #4 
I'm so sorry for your loss. We didn't even get a Christmas tree this year because there was no reason to be joyous. I do feel your pain looking back at last year's pictures. My baby girl was actually doing fine the day she died, Dec.6th and I still can't believe she's gone. Just like that
Hugs to you as well ❤
michelledimarco

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Posts: 27
 #5 
JBZmama 😢
I have hardwood floors and I keep sweeping the hallway where she would lay and I swear there is new hair there in the mornings. It's torture. I still haven't swept my rugs yet. I just can't. Needing to have the couch cleaned because it has needed it for a while but I can't because it still smells like her. I can literally feel your pain over this. Hugs ❤
Libertydad

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Posts: 40
 #6 
Christmas and New Year were events that came and went without my notice or caring. They were just more tearful days. My little girl loved the wrapping paper shredding part but no more. It hurts so bad. I can feel for your losses, I understand completely.     Libertydad
michelledimarco

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Posts: 27
 #7 
Libertydad
I'm so sorry you lost your baby girl so young. Praying for strength for all of us. I have a husband of 31 years and two grown sons that still live at home and we're all lost without Chewy. I just don't care about anything anymore. I hope my grief passes because it's making me sick. I'm just glad we can all vent here to each other and it definitely helps knowing we're not alone and that we're not nuts for grieving so hard for our lost loved ones. Chewy was my family, my little girl
Libertydad

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Posts: 40
 #8 
Thank you so much. Liberty was like a human child to me. I'm retired and had all day with her while the wife was at work. We started the day the same way every day. Morning walk for an hour then breakfast. We would go to the drive thru and place our orders. She actually taught me a few things in life. She invented her own doggie games to play with me. So smart. So many precious things she gave to me.
 This last week has been unbearable, such raw pain. Must of read every post on this site, just to keep my mind busy, and you know what, it helps. I am thinking of you and your loss and of all the others as well.    Libertydad    
michelledimarco

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Posts: 27
 #9 
Libertydad
I was lucky enough to be a stay-at-home dog mom through most of Chewy's life so from the greeting in the morning to the exercise and meals in between and the snuggles on the couch during family tv time to the kisses at night, my days are empty. I really, really feel your pain. I'm sorry. No animal should die young and no human should have to carry this much pain. But we will survive. It will take time. I just know that my life will never be the same without her in it
JBZmama

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Posts: 4
 #10 
I too was lucky to spend my days at home with Jenny, Bella and Ziva. But Jenny is the one who helped me out of my depression 4 years ago. Her sweet, gentle, loving and calming attitude was just what I needed. She was content to just be by my side. If I was crying she would lick my tears and just gaze into my eyes. Without a word she was able to convey love and caring, she calmed me and she brought me more joy than I ever thought I could feel. Bella and Ziva, Jenny's sisters still miss her presence as well. They are the reason I get out of bed now. I wish there was a way to grieve that didn't hurt so much. And I agree with you, Chewy's mama, being able to vent and know that we're not nuts grieving over our children, I can't imagine how this will ever pass, and I'm not even sure I want it to. Libertydad, Liberty sounds like she had a wonderful personality, and I believe that even thought they have 4 legs, they are our children in every sense of the word. Children born in our hearts.
michelledimarco

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Posts: 27
 #11 
JBZmama

I lost my best friend and emotional support dog. I too suffer from depression. Chewy helped me get sober and helped me through the darkest time in my life and I feel like I'm slipping back to that dark place without her here. Steadfast in my sobriety though, even though I'm hanging on by a thread
JBZmama

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Posts: 4
 #12 
Each moment that we press on is a small victory. It may be silly, but I'm hanging on, trying to make Jenny proud of me. It's like I don't want to be in that dark pit again, I'm not sure I'd be able to climb out without her. Believe it or not, just finding a tuft of her hair helps me to feel that she's still here watching over me. I'm sure your sweet Chewy is doing the same. She doesn't want to see her mama going through that darkness. Think of what she'd do to make you smile. If I didn't have my hand on Jenny, she'd kind of bump me with her nose, like saying hey mama, just touch me. The thought of that brings a smile even through tears.
michelledimarco

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #13 
JBZmama

Ahhhhh, the nudge. That just brought a smile to my face. Chewy was famous for doing this too ❤
Thank you for your kind words and support
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