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Benji0808

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Posts: 3
 #1 
It's been more than a year since I put my dog to sleep. But the pain is never ending, and I'm still haunted by the fact that I put him to sleep. Was it the right thing to do? Should I have waited for him to go on his own? Feeling both the pain and guilt every day.
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #2 
I am with you about your feelings but I am learning that we need to let go of the guilt. I've been talking to a counselor and I feel and have been told we need to let go of the guilt and forgive ourselves. We aren't doing our Fur babies any justice by not being happy that we did share our lives with them and they wouldn't want us to hold onto guilt because it only brings us pain. I am trying to replace the negative feelings with the happier ones I made for 16 years with Termy. Our babies only showed us unconditional love and happiness. This is the lessen they were trying to teach us, I believe. They lived in the moment and every second and every minuet was nothing but happiness for them. I asked myself the same questions for 8 months, not quit as long as you have asked those same questions but long enough to feel nothing but heart ache. I am going to try and replace all the negative memories with a special memory that Termy made for me and with me. I thought I wanted Termy to leave me on his own but I also know that he may have suffered and if he would have left me when he was alone at home, I would have never forgiven myself for that.I know it's hard but when I think of it this way I am glad he passed in my arms knowing that I loved him. In my arms he felt my heart beat and my caress and they radiated nothing but love while he took his last breath.
Please try to find peace within yourself and try to forgive yourself and honor your baby and the love you shared.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
Benji0808

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Posts: 3
 #3 
Dear Termy's Mom,

Thank you for your kind words. It is so difficult to find peace and to let go of the guilt. I will start to cry when the pain gets too much. I know I had to do what is best for him. I guess it will take a very long time for the pain to ease. I still have his ashes with me in my bedroom, along with his blanket when he first arrived from Finland. I can't bear to let him go. He already left me once. 

Thank you for sharing your personal experience with me. Termy certainly had a very good life with you.

Love and hugs, 

Benji's dad
flexy633

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Posts: 15
 #4 
Oh, how I know the guilt. There is a good book called "The Loss of a Pet" and it talks about the guilt we feel. I have yet to get through the book or that particular chapter on Guilt, but from what I've read in the rest of the book, it is comforting.

I too wonder if I should have let Franklin go on his own. He took a turn for the worse on the Thursday before Memorial Day weekend. Yet, he was still able to walk, go outside on his leash, but he wasn't pooping at all and had not eating in 2 1/2 days. He wouldn't even take a piece of chicken or steak when I tried to hand feed him. I knew that was it. The morning of the appointment to put him down, he woke up at 3 a.m. and his breathing was labored. It wasn't like a fish out of water, but he was breathing differently and I knew it disturbed him. It actually woke me up out of a dead sleep.

It's so hard to know if we made the right decision, but what else could we do? Just let them suffer and die? I saw my mom die and it wasn't a pretty site with all the suffering she went through the last couple of weeks.

Still, even though I write those words, I think to myself, "Maybe you should have seen if he made it through the weekend." Ugh, I don't know anymore. This is the third boxer that I've had to have euthanized. The other dogs and our cat went on their own.
Sara2018

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Posts: 17
 #5 
I too know the pain of loss, guilt, remorse with my love, Sara O'Hats who I chose to euthanize one week ago.

The pain is debilitating. There is no place of comfort.I

I cannot even find solace in my other cats, who I love, but they don't fill the whole in my heart.

Sara's Mom
Sara2018

Registered:
Posts: 17
 #6 
I too know the pain of loss, guilt, remorse with my love, Sara O'Hara who I chose to euthanize one week ago.

The pain is debilitating. There is no place of comfort.I

I cannot even find solace in my other cats, who I love, but they don't fill the hole in my heart.

Sara's Mom
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