Registered: 1559589472 Posts: 2
It's been just over 1 month since I had no good options but to send my big black beautiful Labrador named Quazar over the rainbow bridge. It was very unexpected and has left my heart and soul broken in a million pieces. He was my best friend, loyal companion, confidant, furry soulmate and my everything. I still feel like it happened yesterday, time seems to be standing still. He passed from a heart hemangiosarcoma that ruptured filling the pericardium sac arround the heart with blood. The first vet we saw failed him and thought he bad aspiration pneumonia, his breathing rate was rapid and he wasn't able to get up, the vet gave him lots of treatment and we were sent home. He only cared about money and getting out of the clinic by closing time. I'm so very disappointed. The emergency clinic we ended up at diagnosed him within minutes. I was not ready for this diagnosis. They advised that we could try draining the fluid but that he could pass away during the procedure. This may have provided us with hours to days with him. There was no cure but we could have had surgery, followed by chemo and radiation that could provide on average maybe a few months together if the treatment didnt take his life first. This treatment plan did not seem fair to my boy. We sent him over the rainbow bridge and my heart has been broken ever since. I am doubting my decision, feeling like maybe we should have at least tried to treat him. I don't like going over the woulda shoulda game in my head every day. I hope I did right by him, i miss him more than anything. I am grateful for our time together, he was 2 weeks shy of his 13th birthday. I just don't know how to start healing from this devastating experience.I'm hoping that by posting my experience it will help start the healing process. I miss my Quazar, he made everyday sparkle for me, now everything seems dull. I am so very sorry for every one here who are going through and have hone through this awful grieving process too. It really gnaws at the heart. I am constantly thinking i made the wrong choice, did I do the right thing, i doubt myself every minute of everyday. My heart hurts.
Registered: 1309098374 Posts: 625
Good Evening, Dearest April,
Please accept my heartfelt thoughts, hopes, and prayers for your beloved Quazar. I am so very sorry that you were unexpectedly faced with such a heartbreaking decision, one which clearly did not allow for time or consideration. However, if I may, Dearest April, please know that it is so clear from what you described that your decision was clearly based on sound reasoning, and, more important, pureness of heart, soul, and love for you Quazar. So many wonderful, loving people have joined this community, and have expressed remorse and guilt for making the decision to send their beloveds Home, but if I may, Dearest April, please know that when such a decision is based on purity of heart and love for our beloveds, then there should not be cause for regret, disappointment, or shame. Dearest April, when we welcome our beloveds into our lives, we also make a promise to these wonderful creatures that we will forever love them, cherish them, and protect them from harm, pain, suffering, discomfort. Sometimes, letting our beloveds make the journey Home is the most loving, compassionate, selfless way we have to honor that promise, a promise that you so clearly, so lovingly, so humanely honored to Quazar. Dearest April, in addition to your beloved Quazar, I offer to you and your loved ones likewise, my hopes, thoughts, and prayers that in the coming days and weeks, you will find the peace and comfort that you seek. While it is a natural part of grieving to second guess such a personal decision, please know again your Quazar was well tended to by you and yours. I further promise you, Dearest April, that when the time is right, if you believe, your beloved Quazar will reach out to you and let you know for himself. He will, in his way, bring you a further sparkle. It happened with me and my little buddy Van Gogh, and so many others in this community will further confirm this sentiment. However, for now, Dear April, please know, and always remember... All is well with love, john