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Mykal444

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Posts: 1
 #1 
Hello everybody. So I’m a huge pet lover. I currently have three wonderful dogs: Paris, a 15 year old shiba inu/Akita mix, Bandit, a 12 year old border collie/greyhound mix, and Zena, a 4 year old black lab mix. I love these dogs so much and they are truly my entire life.

Well unfortunately we had to say goodbye to Ace, my 16 year old Belgium Malinois. Between old age, arthritis, and cancer we had to put him down on November 22, 2019 because he was suffering. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. I got Ace when I was 19 years old and I am 35 now. Ace was my best friend and truly my shadow, wherever I went he made it his mission to be by my side, protecting me. Even at the end when he could barely stand he insisted on following me everywhere. The last two months of his life were so tough and filled with crying and turmoil. It did feel somewhat better when he was gone just because I knew he was no longer in pain. The day we put him down we learned he had three more tumors and I knew I didn’t want him to suffer any longer.

Fast forward to yesterday, I learned that Bandit, my 12 year old has a tumor on her bladder. The prognosis is not good and it is looking like she might have six months to a year if we are lucky. I am dumbfounded and in so much pain. After losing Ace to cancer two months ago, I just do not feel ready to go through all that pain and suffering with Bandit. I feel angry. I feel defeated. I don’t want Bandit to go through this. I am just so incredibly sad. My soul hurts. I truly felt like Bandit would be around for another three or four years. I’m not ready to go through the same nightmare again. I feel like I’m in a hole and I can’t see the sunlight on the top anymore. I just want to somehow fix this so badly. I don’t want to lose Bandit.
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #2 
I feel you pain and anger. It's not bad enough that you had to say goodbye to Ace and then the devastating news about Bandit. Your heart hasn't begun to heal and now it's being tore in two again. I don't know what to say except I am so very sorry. You have every right to feel angry, cheated and dumbfounded. This is normal. When we experience a deep loss as you have with Ace and then to be faced with another impending loss your pain is so deep. I know you feel you aren't ready to go through it again but you will. You will be strong for Bandit, just as I know you will be and then you can take time after to accept that lose and fall apart, I don't need to tell you to cherish your time with Bandit, because you will. Bandit will also stay strong for as long as he can, because of the love you share. Please keep us posted and come here for all the support you need. I will check in to see how you are doing.
Love and doggie hugs.
Termy's mom
Chicorys_Mom

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Posts: 1
 #3 
Mykal444,
I am so sorry you are having to deal with back-to-back dog issues; so very sorry.  Losing Ace must have been so difficult, seeing you had him since you were a teenager.  He was a dear friend.  How do you say goodby to a dog who has been with you through such an important part of your life.  And now, hearing the worst kind of news about Bandit...unthinkable.  You have been such a blessing to Bandit, I know these next steps will be difficult on all of you, including Paris and Zena.  Try to think of all the fun places Bandit likes to go, all the favorite treats, places to hike, car rides, do them, do them all.  Focusing on Bandit, Paris and Zena will help your heart heal from the loss of Ace and will build lasting memories between you and Bandit. 
I lost my sweet Chicory two days ago.  She ran after a rabbit or racoon and was never seen alive again by us.  I believe one of my neighbors took her in and never called me, even though my cell number was engraved on her collar.  The Department of Transportation delivered her to me saying she was hit by a car less than 1/2 a mile from my home.  She was gone for over a week and was as clean as she had just been to the groomers!  No dirt, no mud, no matted fur, her lime green vest appeared to have just been washed, even her paws were clean (we live in the country with acres of woods).  I am sick with grief.  She was only two years old, still a puppy in many ways. 
You have time, which I did not.  Love them, play with them, just sit and pet them.  Dogs are so precious!  I can only hope that my sweet Chicory and Ace are playing and running free in heaven.
Peace to you, Mykal444.  Peace to you!
Chicorys_Mom
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