Registered: 1586047669 Posts: 2
Hi, I'm new here. I have two cats and one dog. My cat named fish is suddenly I'll. She is 12-14 years old orange tabby and I've had her since she was a kitten. She was diagnosed with diabetes about 7 or 8 years ago. We have been giving her insulin shots and diabetic food since then. She has been doing reasonably well during that time. This pay week she started sneezing and sounding congested. It didn't go away so I took her to the vet today, sat April 4th 2010. Couldn't go in because of social distancing. They came and got her then called me. She is extremely ill. They found lumps in her chest and it ended up being cancer. Plus her blood sugar was bad because she stopped eating a lot. Her kidneys were failing too. They said there is not much they can do. Treatment would be extremely painful and not guaranteed to work. She is in pain. They suggested putting her to sleep. So that's what we are doing. I freaked out, left her, drove home crying. Hysterical. Woke my husband up. Ended up going back and getting her.
I have chronic anxiety disorder and chronic depression. Developed double depression ten years ago after my mom died of cancer. It destroyed me. Just came out of it a little over a year ago. She was my best friend. My cats comforted me and helped me cope. Now fishy is going to die. I am having anxiety attacks about her being gone. We are going to take her back Monday, April 6th to be put to sleep. I just can't imagine her gone. She is so smart and has such a unique personality. I will never be the same. I have cptsd from my mom dying and I'm scared I'm going to flip out. We are trying to plan how we are going to bury her, in a box with flowers in my back yard. Trying to prepare, and sometimes I think I have a grip on it. Then I imagine what the house will be like with her gone. No more giving injections, buying insulin, special food. I don't know if I can do this.
Registered: 1586051922 Posts: 2
I lost my beautiful angel pet suddenly for no good reason. You can do this I promise. I’m so sorry about your pet and your mother. This life is so unfair. I want to try to spend my grieving process helping people. I’ve lost people I loved in my life but nothing compared to my baby fur friend. A companion, my love and my heart. My emotional support. Their mother. Something that consumed your time with taking care of them and loving them. This pain is unbearable but let’s make this powerful and become okay. I want that for you. If you need someone to vent to, please pick me.
Registered: 1586047669 Posts: 2
Thank you. I haven't stopped crying all day. I know I need to be strong for my fishy girl. I know it's the right thing. It just hurts so bad and is so sudden. It's triggering me. I didn't think she was going to be the first one of my cats to die. My other cat is 15 and stage 4 liver failure. He is on pain meds. I might get fish cremated if possible. It's the thought of her being gone, just gone. It makes me panic. I have panic disorder. She means more to me than just a pet, I'm sure you understand. Both my cats have been my friends. They comfort me. I don't really have real life friends. I'm in my 30s so it's hard to make new ones. Plus we are social isolating right now because of the virus. I live in a problem city. I will be stuck inside thinking about her until this is over. I felt like my life ended when my mom died (still feel that wsy, I was 25 when it happened), now I feel like the remainder of my life is over.