My precious, precious, beautiful little girl, Maggie Mae, my sweet little baby, just vanished on October 4.
It's a long weird story, all the false sightings and the long strange journey I've embarked on to find her. I've hired the best cat detective I could find, I've done everything anyone could imagine, searched high and low on foot, used media, cameras, personally knocked on and talked to every door within 2 miles of me that I could get to answer the door and left flyers on their door if they didn't.
I could talk for a long long time about why Maggie was, is, so special to me, but right now I just want to know - how do you deal with it when you JUST DON'T KNOW what happened?
There is a possibility that she got onto an electric company lineman's truck that came to the house the day she went missing, was transported about 2 miles away (I called the company to find out where that truck went) and is the same cat that over half a dozen people think they saw...slowly making it's way back in the direction of home...but I could never get anyone to get a photo of it for positive confirmation and it's been a month since anyone has seen it.
So...there's like, the faintest, faintest glimmer of a very small possible miracle.
On the other hand...it's frickin winter, it's cold, there's not much little prey out there, I live in the country and people have horrible mean dogs everywhere...
She would never have just left. She was tightly bonded with me, we had a daily routine that never varied, she was an integral part of the fabric of my life, as I stay home and work mostly from home, and I feel like my heart has absolutely been ripped out of my chest.
I was doing better when I could actively search for her but I have pretty much exhausted all the pro active things to do that I know of and can't do much past just hope, now, and as much as I cried before, I'm crying even more now.
I am grieving so hard over her and my family is getting kind of tired of it...my best friend is gentle and understands that I need to get over this on my own time but I have friends who have lost parents this year and I know they must think I'm incredibly stupid and selfish for crying over my cat when they are soldiering on after losing a parent.
All I know is that I would give my toe to have her fuzzy, tiny, beautiful little self back in my arms.
What do you do when you just don't know?