Registered: 1212715287 Posts: 15
It has been a week and a half now that my precious little angel Mickey has gone to the bridge.
I have not stopped thinking of him for one second and still wonder how I am going to go on without him. The hardest part of the day for me is going to bed. I used to love to get into our bed. My husband and I called it family time and always said it was like a vacation with the 3 of us together. Now when I get into bed the grief I feel is completely overwhelming. I can barely get through the night without Mickey snuggling up next to me. I still listen for his little snores and sighs but they are gone. My heart is completely broken without him. I just pray for him to give me a sign that he is OK but I haven't even had a dream about him....
Registered: 1178570509 Posts: 1,288
How true your words are to me. Going to bed at night is the hardest thing I do all day. I always made their beds up between us and they each had their own spot to sleep. Now it is so empty and so quiet. Like you said the little snores and sighs and snuffles in the ears, how we miss them. I am so sorry that your Mickey is gone and that you don't get to listen to or feel the warmth of his body at night. That is such a big loss and I know how hard it is going to bed alone...especially when it was such a special time for you and your husband. You have to know how special it was for Mickey also as I am sure he loved every minute of that time. It has been just over 14 months and I still dread going to bed, even walking into the bedroom is painful. I wish that I could tell you that it gets better but I don't know that it will. When you have such special memories it is hard not to have the pain of that loss stay with you. All we can do is go on day by day and hope that some of the pain will ease a little. I hope that you get to have a dream of Mickey, that would be so wonderful to have happen. Hoping that you have some good Mickey dreams, Helen
Registered: 1211860763 Posts: 139
I know the feeling of a broken heart without your baby. Life just isn't the same and it never will be. I know for me my life was better with my Comet in it because she gave me so much love. I hope that you will one day be able to treasure those memories and look back and smile. I'm still waiting to be able to do that myself. Just keep looking for the signs because sometimes they are there and we can't see past the grief (that's what I've been told). I pray that Mickey gives you that sign soon and that it comforts you. I also think that I will talk to Mickey and tell him to let you know that he is okay now and waiting for you. I talk to Comet all the time so now Mickey will just have to listen to me too. It will Comet a bit of a break. Mickey - Please let Mommy know that you are fine and that you love and miss her just as much as she misses you. That you had a wonderful life with her and that bedtime was just as special for you. That you are on vacation now and will see her again. Mommy needs that so please try to get it to her. Margaret
Registered: 1205893488 Posts: 49
I know how you feel. It has been 3 months since I lost my beloved Tigger and night time is the worse for me as well. I miss how Tigger would always cry and bug me to go to bend and then as soon as i got into bed and shut the lights off she would jump up and get in my face and meow to let me know she was there. I also agree the hardest part when a pet does is not knowing if they are ok or being taken care of and that is what has always bothered me the most since I lost her. I just hope that the good lord is looking out for her. It sounds like you and your husband had a very special bond with Mckey.
Registered: 1193533588 Posts: 991
I truly understand what you're saying about bedtime. It was always our special time with the Moll. After she passed to the Bridge, my husband moved our bed into a bedroom where she had never slept with us. I think it eases his grief a little that he did that.
Be patient, be quiet and be sensitive. Mickey will give you a sign when you least expect it.
Registered: 1212604655 Posts: 20
I agree, in fact tonight was so unbearable for me that I came to the board about to post the same thing. It's been a little over a week and I have been doing better but the evening routine not being there really got to me tonight. Take care. We all know the hurt you are feeling. I pray that it gets better for all of us and that our babies are safe. A special prayer for my neighbors dog Oscar- they had to part with him today and he was so sweet. A dear friend at work lost his dear companion of 19 years this week-a persian kitty. Perhaps that's what is bringing it back to me when it's still so raw. I hope we all sleep well and have good dreams.
Registered: 1211298031 Posts: 95
Rosie, I thought I was the only one who felt the way you do about bedtime. It seems that was our special time, too. I know your heartache and the loneliness at bedtime. I go to sleep expecting Bennie to be at the foot of the bed and wake up expecting to see him there. How lonely and heartbreaking it truly is. My heart goes out to you, as I know how you feel.
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
It is bedtime and here I am on the computer. Your words made me cry as the most difficult time for me is bedtime too. Each night when Christopher and I went to bed we played peek a boo. It drove my husband crazy and kept him awake. The more he complained the louder Christopher barked until I was laughing hysterically. Oh what I would not give for another night of peek a boo. Christopher would then snuggle in my arms and we would go to sleep. Now I avoid going to be until I have no choice and I take sleeping pills to sleep. How life can change in a moment. I am so sorry about your loss of Mickey. Christopher has been gone for almost 15 months and I miss him as much today as the day he left. I still cry for him many times a day and will for the rest of my life. How do we go on without them? I have no idea and I have found no answers. I am just taking my life, a life filled with sadness and pain, one day at a time. You and Mickey are in my Prayers. Big Hugs Georgeann and Christopher Forever My Precious Angel You Are My Man And I Love You Mommy
Registered: 1208508336 Posts: 820
I can relate to going to bed without your beloved pet. Rupert used to sleep between my husband and I. I used to joke I wanted no more children and Rupert seemed to share that view. I feel close to him in the bedroom, even though he died in his beloved back yard. I have never had a sign from him but a medium told me his spirit is around me and that gave me comfort. I miss him every day and the only time I feel comforted is the bedroom. He was my best friend and companion. When I was ill or upset he comforted me and I miss that. Ruperts Mum.
Registered: 1204068458 Posts: 76
I am so sorry about the loss of your sweet Mickey. I lost my boy Gizmo on Feb. 21 of this year. I think what I miss the most is seeing his little face peek at me through the window when he wanted to come in the house. He would stand on the back part of the glider on the back porch and put his front paws in the window sill and meow at me. I still look to the window and expect to see his beautiful face looking in at me. I also wanted to tell you about what I believe was a sign from him. We buried him in our back yard that day. (He was hit by a car on a busy road near my house on my birthday.) That night around midnight I went outside to sit by his grave and cry. It was snowing and very cold but I sat there and told him that I missed him so much and that I hoped he was safe and warm and happy. I eventually went inside and somehow managed to get some sleep. The next morning when I got up it was just begining to get light outside. There was alot of snow on the ground and there in front of my house were sweet little paw prints in the snow. I knew these were a sign from my Gizmo telling me he was alright and he missed me as much as I missed him. Keep looking for your sign. I pray you get one soon. Hugs and peace, Gizmos mom
Registered: 1198872932 Posts: 1,205
Dont we all here just know how you are feeling. The silence, the emptiness is so unbearable. To give me comfort, I imagine that my babies are there with me, might sound silly, but it helps me. Thinking of you, Much Love, Di xxx
Registered: 1213296953 Posts: 1
All day long is the hardest part my day. My Lindsay, a ten and half year-old Sheltie went to the Rainbow Bridge on Tuesday, June 10th. She had a liver disease which subsequently took her life before I was ready to let her go. Just coming home is painful as she no longer is meeting me at the door. She is no longer barking for her supper at precisely 4 pm every day or mouthing a *bark* because she did not want to startle me letting me know she needed to go out. I would ask her for a kiss and she would offer up her nose for me to kiss *her.* These are just a few precious memories of my Lindsay. I want my Lindsay back so much. She was the best dog to me. She loved me as much as I loved her. We talked and I would tell people of our talks and yes they looked at me like I was nuts but she was so much a part of my life. I'm not sure if I can recover from her loss she meant that much to me. Every morning I wake up I think Tuesday was a nightmare. Hoping I can relive it and make things turn out differently and every night I go to bed without her beside me crying myself to sleep. I hope Monday night's candlelight service will help me. Thank you so much for having this website.
Registered: 1213088675 Posts: 8
I lost my little Chloe on June 10th. It is still so raw that I don't have one special thing I miss the most - I miss everything. Her patting my face in the middle of the night for a drink, her sitting on my shoulder and snuggling faces, her utter happiness every single time I walked in the door. She may have been only three pounds, but her presence filled our entire house. I have loved and lost pets before and eventually healed but I know that the scar left on my heart from losing this special angel will never, ever go away. I am so sorry for all of us here who are so lost without our babies.
Registered: Member deleted Posts: N/A
Hi Rosie, I understand about the bedtime thing also. Since we lost Lucy in Jan. another hard part for me is meal times. I always had a set time when I fed my "kids" :) & when bedtime came around I tucked Lucy in at night. It still hurts more at nght when I know she's not with us any more So I truly honestly understand.
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
Oh, your post brought back memories for me, as well. I am so sorry you and your husband are struggling so with your precious "bedtime" memories. It is just so HARD, isn't it? Before I married my husband, bedtime was almost a magical time for Betsy, Ralphie and me. I would get in bed and they would jump in beside me. Ralphie always snuggled against my tummy, and Betsy, my independent but loving little terrier would sleep at my feet. She would sometimes get up in the middle of the night and walk around on the mattress. We both suffered from insomnia at times. All, I would have to say was, "Betsy, lie down" and I would feel this immediate little thump and down she would go and fall back to sleep. She was so responsive and intelligent, I taught her all of her tricks in only three repetitions. Anyway, as you can tell your post sent me down memory lane. God, how I miss her. I am so sorry your beloved Mickey is not there to snuggle with you and your husband at "family time". I just truly believe with all of my heart that they are still right beside us in spirit. But, oh, what we wouldn't give to run our fingers through their beautiful fur just one more time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband as you miss your sweet boy. Betsy came to me in a beautiful dream visit last night. She was radiant and running through a beautiful green meadow, just like when she was a young pup. Mickey WILL come to you. Hugs, Melissa Betsy's forever mom