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buddy2k

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Posts: 103
 #1 
I wake up in the morning, and the first thing I think of is that Lilly isn't here anymore.
First thing.
She would come running out to greet me from somewhere in the house in the morning - early, late - whenever I got up.  She even seemed to have a smile on her face.  She was so happy to see me.
It's like theres no sun anymore or reason to get up.
I cried, but not for as long I used to - so I guess that's good.
It's been 3 weeks & 5 days without her.
I miss you my Lilly - so, so, much
goofygirlinva

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Posts: 1,191
 #2 
I'm so sorry you are hurting so much. Adjusting to our new lives without our loved ones is so difficult. A new routine, a new reality. Without them. So hard...

For me, losing Blackie and then Squeeker hit me particularly hard whenever I would come home and also late at night when I went to bed. They always greeted me at the door, so I really had a hard time getting used to coming home and not seeing them as soon as I walked through the front door.

And they always slept with me, so it was very hard to fall asleep without them curled up next to me. I adjusted, but it took a long time to get used to not having them around anymore. I cried for probably well over a year after Blackie passed away, it hit me so hard.

Hugs and peace to you as you get used to life without your beloved, precious Lilly

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom

buddy2k

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Posts: 103
 #3 
Thank you Kelly
Hugs to you also
michelledimarco

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Posts: 27
 #4 
Mornings are the hardest for me too. I'm sorry for your loss 😢
Libertydad

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Posts: 40
 #5 
  I don't know why but today was even tougher than yesterday. I just couldn't stop sobbing. Went for a very long drive, its the only way to concentrate on something other that Liberty.  When I got home I felt better but as soon as I came in the house it started up again. I lost my dad about 3 months ago, but I was ok with that. He was 88, had a great life and he knew he was going so we had some good talks. Now my relatives must think I'm insensitive because I'm a basket case over Liberty and never cried for my dad. They say its a residual grief. NO its not, I loved my dad but this is totally different. I was taking care of my girl, she trusted me, we were devoted to each other. I don't want people telling me how to feel or when to feel it.
 This AIHA was a rare and terrible disease she contracted because of her booster vaccine and although I know it wasn't my fault I still feel guilty about it.
 I miss my little girl so very badly, I want her back with me more than anything in the world.  Libertydad

 Miss you sweetheart, stay safe.
buddy2k

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Posts: 103
 #6 
I'm so sorry for your loss too.
It's so hard isn't it.
Hugs
LauraLJ

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Posts: 5
 #7 
I lost my baby, Jack, almost 3 weeks ago and expected to feel better by now. The support has gone away but the pain will not. And like Libertydad my dog’s death has hit me harder than the human losses I’ve had this year with my step dad and father in law. Even my husband cried over jack but I didn’t see him have this reaction to the death of his 92 yr old father who had lived with us for 12 years, he was quite disabled and had a very full and rewarding life. We saw him become weaker over the years and his passing during his sleep was very peaceful. It was the same amount of time we had with Jack in our home. But jack went suddenly over a period of hours, and was seemingly in excellent health with lots of energy, they think there was an internal bleed issue. People don’t seem to realize the closeness and pain of the sudden loss of my best friend. He’s my first dog and we did everything together. I loved that he loved me so very much unconditionally. Waking up is very hard as reality hits. And coming home is just as hard. He was a part of every minute of my life here at home. Even thought about selling the house and moving. There’s so much pain here and I’m crying unless I have a LOT of distraction.
Libertydad

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Posts: 40
 #8 
Thanks buddy2k.  I'm sorry to be posting again so soon but I wanted to tell you about our mornings with Liberty. If it was a work day (mon-fri) for the wife she would get up at 6:30 am and Lib would get up with her. I usually never heard them. They had their routine. She told me Liberty would watch her make her lunch and put her makeup on and when she pulled from the driveway Liberty would come back to bed with me. She would let me sleep until about 9 am, then begin to inch up the bed until her face was close to mine. I knew what she wanted, her morning walk in the park. God somedays I was so tired but that was ok. She would walk to the sunroom and stretch with her hind  end up and then yawn, every time. I would put her harness on and clip her up and away we would go. She loved car rides.
If it was the weekend it was totally different, (how did she know) we both could sleep in until she thought it was time to rise. She would start by licking your fingers, then the arm, then the face. She still wanted a walk in the park and she got it.
 I miss her so much, I spend to much time here reading posts, it seems to be the only solace I can get right now.
 Yes mornings are hard but I still find the entire day to be miserable, actually the only relief I have is sleep. My heart is with you and your grief, my pain is real as I know yours is. This is for sure the most intense emotion I have ever felt in my life, not sure if I can even get through it, only time will tell.  
Take care my pet loss friends ( this is somewhere I never expected to be 2 weeks ago )
So fast. So sudden. So final.

RIP  my sweet little girl     Libertydad
Karmacat

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Posts: 167
 #9 
I lost my cat Karma on 8 Dec 2017 and the journey since then has been extremely hard and arduous. I actually cried for long periods everyday for a year - it seemed like a superhuman display of grief and sadness that I didn't even know was possible for me. The first months were horrible beyond belief, the pain became almost physical in its intensity. I was scared I was losing my mind... Initially, I had moments of pride in my depth of suffering, as well as moments feeling worthless for being unable to get past the death of my cat. Since then, I have come to realise that I am not unique at all in my experience. Through sites like this, I understood that thousands and thousands of people have gone through the same thing after losing their pets. Even now, I seem to be having a relapse of sorts, thinking of my cat and breaking down several times a day.

Like Libertysdad and others noted, for me too, no human death had ever produced the level of the pain I felt on losing my cat to cancer/euthanasia. The scientific part of me is still puzzled and curious about this phenomenon. I think the difference is that we see our pets as being totally dependent on us to take care of them, and to make the tough life and death decisions. Furthermore, their lack of understanding about their impending deaths makes it so much worse, to my mind. Somehow, the ability of humans to understand the situation and also make their own decisions on it makes it seem somehow less tragic. But the remaining mystery is, why do I miss my cat above all the friends and family that have also departed? I am really tired of hurting all the time but I don't know when I can be free from this.
buddy2k

Registered:
Posts: 103
 #10 
Libertydad, I love hearing about Liberty, and all the things you did together.  I understand the pain you are feeling.  I loved waking up in the morning, and couldn't wait to see my Lilly, I would hurry up to see her, I loved how she ran to greet me, so enthusiastically with what seemed like a smile.  Then I'd feed her, and go with my coffee to catch up with things on the computer.  When she finished eating, she'd run to find me & jump into my lap. Then I'd eat breakfast watching t.v., and she'd jump into my lap again.  It was heaven.  I find that I can't eat the same breakfast anymore.  It makes me gag.  I guess I'm associating Lilly with my toast.  On the weekends, me & hubby read the paper at the kitchen table, and Lilly would lie on a towel, on the table in between us & the paper, sometimes, her chin on my arm.  This morning, I stayed in bed till noon because I just didn't want to face reading the paper without Lilly.  I could go on and on about the things I miss doing with Lilly.  We were together almost every waking minute that I was at home.  I know you, and everybody here feel the same about their old routines being shattered.  The new way of life is horrible.  Hopefully one day it will be easier.  For now though, it makes me feel sick, most of the time.
Karmacat, I totally understand everything you are feeling.  I too am tired of hurting all the time.  It's hard to believe just how painful this is.  The bond we had with these little creatures was and is amazing, and I guess it's almost impossible to accept, that the physical bond has been severed.  When Lilly was ill, I contacted a pet communicator, and she talked to Lilly, and Lilly had lots to tell me.  It was amazing.  Totally amazing.  Lots of things made sense with our 'relationship'.  I plan to contact Lilly again, shortly, to find out what she has to tell me now.  Not everybody believes in 'that stuff', but, if you do, it can really help.  I hope that one day will we accept our new way of life.  One can hope. 
Hugs for all the hurting hearts.
Lilly's mom
LauraLJ

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Posts: 5
 #11 
It’s supportive to hear that it’s normal and expected to feel this way about missing my dog jack. I find solace in sharing my experiences and reading about others going the EXACT same feelings. The similarities are uncanny. I’m middle aged and have NEVER been so affected by a pet loss before. I’m still crying every day even though sometimes I think I’m starting to feel better. And then it’s time for bed and the pain comes back. It was our routine to walk around the block at night. We both loved it so much. Now I haven’t walked outside of my yard. I don’t think I can ever walk the block again. The Christmas lights were in full swing and it was such lovely times we had. Then he was gone.... I folded up his kennel in my room 2 days ago and it’s still leaning against the wall. It was his own space for the last 12 1/2 years. He loved it. I still shuffle to the bathroom at night because he’s always laid on the floor and I’ve stepped on him a few times in the dark. Scared both of us! Then reality hits yet again.
Libertydad

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Posts: 40
 #12 
I have slept in the spare bedroom since Liberty's passing, I can't face the big bed where she slept between us. There are supposed to be 5 stages of grief and you go through them in order, but I find myself flying around at all of them at once and then doing it again. When she was in the hospital I didn't eat for 4 days, and when she came home it was another two days before I had a small chicken sandwich. Still not eating properly, I know this but I don't really care. Since I'm retired I don't really have to do anything in the morning so now I'm lost. For several days after I just got up and drove to the park where we walked every morning, I would walk alone and cry because she loved this place so much. Then some of the regulars spotted me and I had to tell the tale and cry again, thank god they understood.
 I'm somewhat angry with my spouse, I feel she is not grieving enough, but everyone is different and I am trying hard to understand that and not cause problems. I know she loved Liberty. I truly believe that's why I am on this site so much because here absolute strangers are crying with me. You open up your heart here and we need to do that.

I only had Liberty for 3.5 yrs, it was too short a time, I envy those who had longer periods. My God I have goldfish that are still alive before we got her, my car lease is 4 yrs, why/how could she be taken when we were just getting started. She was my little girl, my baby. She used to give me that quick little glance back at me when we were walking as if checking I was still there, or asking "how am I doing dad, walking good enough for you". She was so splendid in social situations, never misbehaved anywhere, she was actually better than my human kids in that respect, when they were young.
This was the first year I actually trusted her to let her off leash at a public park with other dog owners, she was so good. She played so well with other dogs and she looked at me as if to say "really, no leash, this is so great". I could see it in her eyes, she was so happy. I can't begin to expound on the so many ways she gave me joy. She would play the chase me game with her Australian Sheppard friend and it was funny to watch. Liberty could turn on a dime, and Miesha would just fly right on by. Her other buddy was an enormous Ridgeback named Opie, if Liberty got tired she would stand underneath Opie's belly and he would protect her.

God I miss her so much, its so hard. Someone wrote on another post that she wished this was just a nightmare and we would wake up and everything would be fine, I wish that was true. She wasn't big on tricks but she could shake a paw and give a kiss, I didn't want to train her to be a spectacle, I wanted her to do as she pleased and she did. She was so smart. Its almost 3 AM and I'm going to bed to find the peace only sleep will give me.

Thank you for listening to me rant, it helps me to put these words down. She was so special to me.

Liberty, you be a good girl, daddy loves you, and its ok, everything is ok      Libertydad
Karmacat

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Posts: 167
 #13 
For most of us here, it's like we entered an alternate universe when our pets died. A universe where grown men weep and whimper like children, where it was possible a person to cry for hundreds of days continuously, for us to actually lose a hefty portion of our life force itself. We become so profoundly stuck in a single event, a moment in time..

Libertydad, don't resent your wife for not grieving as much as you. In fact you should be happy that she doesn't have to endure the endless torture you find yourself facing. My own sufferings made me wish that no one else would have to face this thing. It hardly seems fair too - that the people who took in, took care and loved these animals have to suffer so much just for doing that. Because every animal will pass on in the end, in one way or another.

The other thing I realise is that no one who had not had the 'privilege' of entering this alternate universe of pain, could ever understand or empathise with our feelings. In the past, when I heard of people crying for days over the death of their pets, my reaction was one of puzzlement and confusion. Like how could there be such a reaction over a pet's demise? Of course, now that I seem to setting some kind of record for non stop crying, I completely realise that it could happen. But I still don't fully understand it.

Whether we have a spouse, a parent, life partners, best friends etc around us, it is unrealistic to expect them to comfort us for possibly hundreds or thousands of days continuously, much less understand the remarkable experience we are going through. And even we people who have experienced it for ourselves, know that there is really little that can be done, except to let the grieving process run it's full course. So strangely, we find ourselves sharing the most personal details of what we are going through with fellow inhabitants of this alternate universe here. This seems to be one of the few things that helps...
LauraLJ

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Posts: 5
 #14 
Libertydad yes 3 1/2 years is awfully short. I thought 12 1/2 were short. My cats have always been around for 17+ years! It’s so hard having such a huge void that was so filled with love and devotion 100% of the time. I pray you find some peace. Liberty sounds like she was so awesome! You gave her a wonderful life and you should be proud of yourself for giving so much of yourself to her. I try to think that jack would not want me to be so sad about him. He was never sad about anything except having to stay home when we left the house, and couldn’t bring him.
michelledimarco

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Posts: 27
 #15 
Libertydad

I know how you're feeling. I'm a wreck but my husband seems to be handling this like a trooper. I know he loved Chewy to pieces but he grieved and seemed to have gotten through it. I just happen to be going through menopause and grief at the same time along with my lifelong struggle with depression so he really has no clue what I'm feeling. We have actually been fighting over this the last few days. He always says that I'm the glue that holds our family together. I told him I'm not, Chewy was 😢💔
LauraLJ

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Posts: 5
 #16 
Michelle your husband is right. The women are the glue that hold the house together and make a house, a home. You were a major part of who made chewy the wonderful pet he was. Everyone deals with grief in a different way. My husband isn’t crying but I still am. But I KNOW he misses jack SOOOO much! That sensitivity is what makes us so special and lovable. As I am trying to do, please be patient and kind and allow yourself to grieve. But also do something you enjoy that did not involve chewy. That’s what I’ve been trying to do and it seems to be helping. I’m watching winter movies, shopping, cooking, eating too many cookies, which has to stop. But just like I’m trying to do, allow yourself to smile when the opportunity arises. Don’t feel guilty about smiling and even laughing. You KNOW chewy would not want you to be so sad to where you could not even enjoy a small part of life. I know Jack would want me to be happy and I’m trying really hard, for him.
michelledimarco

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Posts: 27
 #17 
LauraLJ ❤❤❤
Libertydad

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Posts: 40
 #18 
Hi Liberty, its just dad, getting ready to go to bed soon, just missing you is all. Wanted to say hi and how much I miss you still. I hope you know you were my life, you made any problem I had easier to deal with. You were my sunshine on a rainy day. I don't know how you got so smart in so short a time, you amazed me with your learning everything so fast. I'm having a tough time dealing with you being gone, it's not your fault sweetheart, you gave me everything I could ask for in your short life. I wish I could of given you more. I don't think you ever really knew your name, it was always honey, baby, sweetheart, or some such. Remember when I had to go out and I just had to say" I'll be right back" and you would jump on the couch and put your ears down and give me that sad look, then I would put my coat on and consider it and say " you wanna go with me" Instantly you jumped down and ran for the door because you were so happy. You gave me so much and now so much is missing. I took you every where I could honey. When you sat on the consul beside me in the car it was like you were helping me drive. You learned when I said "hold on" that we were turning and you adjusted your balance to make the turn. We played hockey in the hallway, you were the goalie and I would fire those treats down the hallway and try and score on you before it crossed into the bedroom. Great times my love. Mom would yell at us to be quiet so we would try, for alittle bit to keep the noise down. When you were tired an lay on the bed beside me while I was reading I would rub your belly or stroke your legs and you would close your eyes with such bliss. I miss the soft feel of your fur, tangles and all. I miss your snoring too, man you really cranked it up sometimes, woke me up a few times. I love you honey and I miss you, just want you to know that. You made every day a special day. There really are no words that I can say to express my extreme gratitude that it was to have you in my life. You made me so proud, I was Libertys dad. I love you sweetheart.
 
Libertydad

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Posts: 40
 #19 
Oh honey, I miss you so much. There is nothing I can do to get you back. There is nothing anyone can say that helps this terrible pain stop. You were my friend, my little sweetheart, you did not deserve to be taken away so early in your young life.
I can't stop thinking of you, can't stop crying. You would of enjoyed your life so much, you won the dog lottery picking us, because we loved you so much. I can't believe I will never touch you again. I just miss you. So much.
Its raining and cold tonight, there will be snow on the ground by morning, you would absolutely love that wouldn't you. Only three winters you saw, you loved the winters, why could you not see more of them, why did you die so young. I would of taken such good care of you if you got old and had problems. I wanted you to get old. I wanted you to live a life. I can't stand it that you were cheated this way.
Oh my girl, my baby, I have to go to bed now, how I wish you were with me. I just wanted to say goodnight. I had a bad day and am having a bad night.
When you came into my life 3.5 years ago, I did the math in my head, okay, you live 12 or so years and I would be around 75, that would be fine with me. We can both go together. I was happy with that. But now your gone already. Its unfair. 
You had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, and when you looked at me from your ICU bed I could tell you were scared, I did everything I could for you honey, I spent thousands of dollars I didn't have, I drove hundreds of miles to see you, and I know you tried to get better. I am so very sorry about this. You were without a doubt, a one in a million find, and I guess I was lucky to have you, even for a short time.
Liberty, I don't have to tell you to be a good girl, because you always were, I just want to tell you that I miss you so very much. I love you.
Libertydad
buddy2k

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Posts: 103
 #20 
Libertydad, it's heartbreaking to read your posts.
You loved your little Liberty heart & soul.
She wouldn't want you to be so sad forever.
I know how you feel though - I feel the same - my sunshine and happiness are gone - my Lilly.
I hate the mornings now.  The days drag on.
I'm hoping we find some peace soon.
You are among so many people who are going through the same heartbreak.
Lilly's mom
LauraLJ

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #21 
Yes, if there was any way possible to get through the pain faster or to not have to go through the pain, I would do it! Just when I think I’m feeling better it hits me again that this is reality and he really is gone. And I look at his picture and I’m still in disbelief and overwhelmingly sad. I know it will just take time and getting used to the new routine without him. I’m trying to give more attention to the cats but neither of them are snuggly. So then I go eat cookies and try to distract myself by watching something on TV or figuring out what to cook for dinner. It’s been 3 1/2 weeks and I feel like I should be all better by now. But I’m realizing it will take a lot more time than I thought.
Libertydad

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Posts: 40
 #22 
Hello sweetheart, its just me, dad. I don't know what's wrong with me, I can't just let it go, I have to talk to you. It snowed here  a bit last night and I thought I would see your little paw prints on the deck. None were there. The big rabbit you loved to chase came out this evening in the backyard and I cried just looking at him. I don't fill the bird feeder anymore, because then the squirrels come and I cry when I see them too. Remember when I would open the back door and whisper "squirrel" and you would tear out the door and chase those bad guys away. Then you would pee and come back in the house with that smug grin on your face. God I miss you.
 When you were really little, I think around 8 weeks old I put you on the couch for the first time and you wanted back on the floor, you went to the edge and looked down, it must of looked like a long way for you because, you braced yourself, then leapt off the couch with your front paws splayed way out and your rear legs fully extended, you looked like a cliff diver from Brazil, I nic named you "Braveheart" after that, but it never stuck, you remained sweetheart. Then so fast you grew and in days it seemed you not only jumped up on your own but raced around the house like a mad fool. You chased the laser light back and forth up and down the hall like a cat.
 Tyler(my son) came over and took all your toys out to the shed, I couldn't bear to go through them. Most of them were wrecks anyway, you just had to get those squeaky things out didn't you. I would buy a 10 dollar toy from PetSmart, bring it home and you would "kill" it, but that was okay. Maybe one day I can go and look at those toys but that is a very long way away. You were not a ball chaser or a fetch the stick type of dog, you were regal. You watched intently, so curious, at everything anyone did, like you were amassing knowledge for some reason. You hated when I sang to you, but loved when I read to you. You knew what time of day it was and you never wore a watch. You knew when mom was coming home even before I did. From your perch at the front window, you told me by your bark "tones" who was out there, be it cat, dog, human, or that dreaded coyote that prowls the block sometimes.
I have been doing a lot of reading about canines lately, trying to get my mind off missing you, and do you know the strongest "sense" a dog gains is the smell of its master, above the smell of food or other dogs. They say your maturity is the same as a 2 1/2 yr old human, you far surpassed that my darling. When my sons were 2 1/2 they didn't hide their food for later, they didn't go outside to do their business, they couldn't tell time or know it was bedtime. You always went to bed at exactly 9:30 every night, right to your spot, left side of the bed, always.
Your life was short but you filled my life with about a billion little things, all of which I cherish and love. Nothing will ever be the same without you to share it with. The back bacon sandwiches at MJ's outside, the Dairy Queen ice cream. You were always so happy. When ever a bag was brought into the house your nose had to go in it.
My heart is truly broken my love, and honestly, right now, I don't know if I can fix it. Maybe I don't want to fix it just yet. From the second I wake up I see an image of you every where I look, I can't drive down the roads we walked on, I actually want to move from this house, even though we just got it last year for you, because of the yard. I don't know what to do with myself every day without you. There is nothing I want to do. I cry in every room I walk into because I know you have been there, my car still has muddy foot prints on the dash, I can't wipe them off. I think off you constantly, every moment I am awake. You brought me so much joy, more than anything in my life.
But this isn't about me, its about you, its about how sorry I am that this has happened to you, its about the life you deserved, you earned by being what you were. you were my companion. For some reason you were taken early from this earth, for that I am, and always will be, combative and angry over, there was NO reason for this.
Liberty.. I'm so very sorry, my heart will ache forever.
 
 I have to try and sleep now honey, it won't be easy. I am in a dark place right now and I know your in an even darker place. I wish I could help you and be with you.

 Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
But if I die before I wake
I pray... I pray I can hold Liberty 
for one more day
grievingmom

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Posts: 640
 #23 
in cases like this, i have had to sleep somewhere else in my apt. in one case, on the living room floor for a few days. it was better than being in my bedroom.
Kellib

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Posts: 10
 #24 
My heart is so heavy for all of the grieving, lovely people who have been posting in this thread. Libertydad, I feel so bad for you - especially you. You are grieving so and I understand. I ran over my own kitty, Elvis, this week. He was an outdoor kitty, a beautiful 20 pound tuxedo Maine Coon that thought his name was “handsome”. Indeed he was! He was 10 years old and we had such a loving connection. He was truly my best friend. I often told my friends that I loved him more than I loved most PEOPLE. Elvis technically belonged to my youngest daughter but she was unable to take him when she moved since he was an outside country kitty and she was moving to a city in California. He, honestly, was the last fragment of her childhood and now they are both gone. She is married and unable to come see me often so Elvis was a soft, sweet reminder of the love I have for my child. I did let Elvis inside the night before I accidentally killed him and he was so elated as he wasn’t allowed inside but my husband ( who thinks I am ridiculous for carrying on so because of Elvis’ death) was out of town and I saw my big kitty outside the window watching me. I opened the door and he hopped onto my bed as if that was what he was supposed to do. He purred loudly and “ made biscuits “ on the fluffy blanket and curled up beside me and slept (and snored!) like he had been doing that for years. I am so thankful for that wonderful, wonderful memory. I have decided to celebrate the fabulous 10 years that I had the privilege of loving such a special boy and not dwelling on the horrendous last moments of his life. He loved me as much as I love him still. We were pals and I will always have a cat shaped hole in my heart that he used to fill. I pray for comfort and healing for us all. Animals don’t judge and they love unconditionally AND they are always so glad to see their humans even if we have only been gone for five minutes.
Libertydad

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Posts: 40
 #25 
Kellib.  I'm so sorry about Elvis, it's tragic, but it was an accident. My son has 4 cats and one is a Maine Coon. My other son had 2 dogs, but one has since passed. He buried her on his property and erected a marker. If it's one thing I'm proud about my children, it's their compassion and love for animals.
I had been without a companion animal for 25 yrs before we got Liberty, and I thought I was getting along quite well. And I was, but in reality I realize I was just existing, as many people do in petless households. When Liberty came into the house for the first time it changed me as a person. I can't really explain why or how but I felt different. There was purpose and meaning again to every day. I got to protect and nurture again, there was more to life than just paying the bills or watching tv. Every single second she was here she gave me joy. She made every day an adventure, no matter what.
  ( When I write these posts I spend more time crying than I do typing, sorry ) 
I am not a people person, I don't like crowds or party places, I enjoy quiet, but I didn't mind the dog park as long as Liberty was having fun.
She was way more than just a dog to me. She made my days absolutely perfect. I am not big on social media, I don't facebook , rarely email, don't even own a cell phone, so typing here, about her is my only outlet for the release of my pain.
 I feel so badly for any person that has to come to this site, because it means they are grieving, lost and feeling alone. But I am so thankful it is here.

Christmas day was the worse day of my life, Liberty died that day, never will I have a happy Christmas because I will always remember.  I just look back at where I typed her name and I start sobbing, she was incredible.

 I better be off to bed now so I will say goodnight, before I go I have to give  a little piece of cheese to Liberty, here you go sweetheart.   Libertydad
Kellib

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Posts: 10
 #26 
Libertydad
I understand about the way that you felt a higher purpthan yourself when Liberty joined your family. Elvis got fed breakfast and dinner before I fed anyone else! I always explained that by saying. “You can get your own food if need be but he can’t.” Two people in my immediate family don’t love animals and claim that animals don’t have the capacity to love in return. Not so. The love that I saw in Elvis’ big ol’ round green eyes when we looked at each other was unmistakable. Total devotion both ways. I was finally able to walk on my carport floor when the accident happened. It made me cry but honestly, I feel that Elvis would want me to think of the joy we shared and not the sorrow. I miss my Fluff McTuff boy and his curious little expression. I am praying that our days get better as we lovingly remember our fur babies.
Sweetpea7

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Posts: 34
 #27 
I’m so sorry Kellib and libertydad ,and all here who are grieving. Heartbreaking losses.I’m finding it tough to get going again. My new kitty is helping,yet there are days where nothing helps. And today It hit me -I have experienced many losses over the 20 years that I have lived in this house. From My dh passing after 35 years,to my six cats over the span of the past 20 years .the most recent being my 2 ,20 yr olds,Peanut and Spanky kitties,in the last 2 months.oh how I miss my Sweet girls!!!
Oh,and my health.

Praying for you all .
(((Hugs)))
Peanut and Spankys mom
Kellib

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Posts: 10
 #28 
Thank you, Sweetpea7, for your kind words. The accident happened on Wednesday afternoon and I could not go to that evening’s worship because I was just in shock as to what happened. However, I did go this morning and all of my friends had heard about what happened and they were so kind and concerned because they knew how much I love my cats! I am not sure if I have ever mentioned the fact that my older cat will be put to sleep this coming week due to ear cancer. He is so lost as well without his buddy Elvis. The 14.5 year old kitty, Oreo has outlived 2 dogs and now his best kitty friend has passed. I have had this appointment time to lay Oreo to rest as his cancer is so advanced that it is cruel to keep him with me any longer. I was expecting his departure but not Elvis’ departure and I suppose that’s what makes the accident involving Elvis even that much more heartbreaking. After this week, I will have no more pets...I am afraid that I will not be getting any more either as their death is just to devastating to go through again. I will say that some people who post here cannot bear to see photos of their dear departed pets but that, for me, make me relive the good times and try to put the bad times behind me. I am so thankful for my church friends as well. I hope you all will find comfort in the near future. Hugs to all!
bobbylee

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Posts: 1
 #29 
My beloved baby girl Tessa passed unexpectedly on January 3, she was a 11 year old Rottweiler without any known health issues,
one minute she was her usual happy go lucky and the next minute she was gone. 

I am absolutely crushed, can't stop crying, I did not cry that much when my father died.
Kellib

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Posts: 10
 #30 
Bobbylee,
I am saddened to hear about Tessa. I know how that sudden hole in your heart is painful. I made a meme with my cat on it and it says, “ I cried so hard when you died because I will never see you again “ I hope to see my dad that passed one day...besides that, dad had his own life and made his own way but Elvis and Oreo solely depended on me for survival. Let’s pray for strength for us and for compassion for those who don’t understand.
Kellib

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #31 
Bobbylee,
I am truly sorry for the pain and mental anguish you are going through after your precious Tessa passed away. I too am very sad and traumatized that I killed my kitty that I dearly love. He was the most chill and awesome boy who never brought me anything but joy. I cried more when he died than when my father died too. Elvis and Tessa were dependent on us and our dads had their own lives
and could survive without our assistance. I cried more when my cat died because I feel like I will never see him again... I pray for comfort and strength for us and compassion for those who can’t understand or sorrow.
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