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Allrealtor

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Posts: 2
 #1 
Hi Everyone,
This is my first time on this site and to be honestest I can barely type through my tears. I lost my 15 year old bichon/maltese mix on Wednesday and I am consumed by grief.
My husband got her for me a few months after we got together. It has always been the three of us. Krissy was beautiful and sweet and so loving. She was my "cuddlebug". About 7 years ago she lost most of her teeth and her tongue would hang out to the side at all times. This only made her even MORE adorable! She has traveled all over the country (and even Canada) with us. She has been with us through all of our moves and the birth of our two children.
We knew that she was getting so old and that our time with her was going to be limited (even though she remained in GREAT health just until about 3 days before she died). I had tried to prepare myself for the thought of her not being with me but when it actually happened it was a totally different story! I can't sleep (because she always went to bed with me). Even the smallest task will send me into a good cry! I started cleaning the house yesterday and I had to remove the step that she used to get up on the couch. Later in the day I went to take out the trash and her dog bed (that I asked my husband to remove because of her last accident) was in the outside trash and I broke down again.
This pain is awful! The house seems so quite which only makes me hear her in my thoughts. I had thought there was no way I could get another dog and especially not anytime soon but last night I started looking through the Internet and newspaper. NO dog will ever take her place (she was my first dog) but I can't stand this pain! I know it sounds bad but the pain of losing her has been the worst loss I have EVER experienced (including family members). She was my 1st born, she was my best friend!  
polkadots

Registered:
Posts: 117
 #2 
My heart goes out to you. So sorry for the loss of Krissy. She sounds very special. I too just found this site yesterday. Thanks so much to the folks who created it. It is really helping me cope with losing Daisy. Take care and hang in there. Much love and hugs, Pat (Daisy's dad)
Mary

Registered:
Posts: 1,400
 #3 
The tears are running down my face as I read about your sweet little Bichon.  I can feel your pain and I know it's unbearable.  We lost our sweetheart Meister on June 6.  I tried also to prepare myself for losing him but you can never prepare for how deep the pain is. He was a senior also at 17.  My heart was ripped out when he went back to Heaven.

Everyone is here to help you through your sadness.
I wish I could ease your pain but I know I can't.  When you feel the time is right there are special ways to pay Tribute to your beloved pet.  The tremendous pain you feeling is because of the tremendous love and friendship you shared.

Please continue to write.  We all understand how you feel.
I will pray for you and your sweet Bichon baby.  You will see her again one day in happiness.

Many hugs

Mary
Meisters Mom





imissmyLou

Registered:
Posts: 23
 #4 

Allrealtor

 

Welcome to Petloss, I think it was a great move coming here.   It was 3 weeks yesterday that I lost my Louie and I will tell you it does get easier but at times it is very difficult. I constantly think of Louie and ALWAYS for brief seconds I think he is around or I think that I have to do something for him.  The first days and weeks are hard.  Do what you can, try to go about life.  Thinking back to the first week that Louie was gone I was in a complete haze.  I just listened to messages that came in around the time of his death and I had no idea I had listened to them.   I know that since I became a member here I have felt so much better.  I can talk to people who feel the same exact thing I do.  Even my closest friends I do not talk to about because they do not understand.  Please come here and share it helps to talk.  I will keep you, your family and Krissy in my prayers.  Also, remember that she is watching over you and still with you where ever you go.

 

~d Louieā€™s Mom

mollyboltsmom

Registered:
Posts: 991
 #5 
Please accept my condolences on the passing of your sweet Krissy. It is so hard to lose someone that we have that special bond with. She's at the Rainbow Bridge with the rest of our precious babies, once again happy and healthy and waiting patiently until the time that you join her there. I find much comfort in that.
Come back and tell us some more of Krissy's story. Talking about the good as well as the bad really does help, both you and us. If you can, when you can, post a picture. We love seeing the Bridge Baby pictures. It took me 7 months before I could post a picture.
You and you husband are in my prayers today.
Try to find a good memory of Krissy to honor her with today.
Molly's Mom
Luna13

Registered:
Posts: 846
 #6 
Oh my goodness, I'm sitting here crying like a baby.  I'm so very sorry for your loss of Krissy.  I can sense your pain in your post and my heart truly hurts for you.  It's so hard when we lose a fur baby.  I remember the day Luna died - I thought I would die too.  It's the most horrific pain I've ever endured in my life, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.  It's a long dark path you're on right now, but please know you're not alone.  We've all been there and we truly understand how hard it is.  All I can tell you is it does get better in time, and that time is different for everyone.  Come here all you want.  We're here for you.  Please know that Krissy is in a beautiful place.  She's young and whole again and happy as can be.  I know your pain is so new and deep right now and you want her with you - she IS with you, always.  Her beautiful spirit is with you and she is yours forever.  And remember you will see her again some day - know that in your heart.  I'm just so sorry.  If I could ease your pain just a tiny bit, it would make my day.  I'm saying many prayers for you during this difficult time.  Please come back often and let us know how you're doing.  May God lift you up into His loving arms and grant you peace.

Many hugs to you.

Gerlie (Gypsy and Luna's forever mom)
ewokangel

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #7 

I can feel your pain for your loss of Krissy.  If I had found this site yesterday I would have written the exact same things about my Ewok who I helped start his journey to the rainbow bridge Tuesday 6-24-08.  Like Krissy, Ewok was my very first ever fur baby, he was 15 1/2 yrs old, a mix of Yorkie, Cocker and Poodle.  He too had lost most of his teeth.  He had two mast cell tumors removed during his life, back surgery as well as medication for seizures.  He was my precious Ewok angel baby as Krissy was yours.  I cry constantly too and lay in his bed with his smells.  The pain is awful and at times unbearable and soul wrenching.  They say we will get over it in time although now it does not feel like it.   I will keep you in my prayers and in my heart.

HelenY

Registered:
Posts: 1,415
 #8 
  I'm so sorry for your loss of Krissy.  I, too, lost my little bichon girl, Teddy, when she was 15 + years.  That was just about 8 months ago and the pain and grief still follow me around.  There are so many memories lurking in corners, under sofas, in pillows, etc. that it's so difficult to take away the overwhelming sadness that envelopes me.  It took me 1 month to finally come to this site and pour my heart out.  Thank God I did, for it's been a savior to me.  I know, in time, that the heartache will become somewhat less, but it will never go away.
   I have a little white persian named Cyra that Teddy "allowed" and welcomed 2 years before her final journey, but it will never be the same again.  I can't replace the special bond that I had with her for so long.  Even though my husband & I have grown children (former marriages), she was OUR child together.  She was there through all the happy & sad times--the celebrations, weddings, and funerals. 
   Hopefully, time will be the healer in our journey to peace.  We have the support and understanding of each other's sorrows at this site.  All we can do now, is to keep coming back to this wonderful place.

      All my thoughts & prayers are with you at this difficult time--

                                         Teddy's Mom
JerryC

Registered:
Posts: 1,569
 #9 
So sorry for your loss, I too have grieved for our departed Peaches more than anything. We, my wife and I have been down this same road you are on before, but Peaches for some reason was and still is the hardest. I guess she was "My Heart Dog".
This site has been a God Send for us in our loss. Our companions and soul mates become a part of our lives and when the day comes and they make their journey to the Rainbow Bridge they leave a part of themselves in-bedded in our hearts forever. That is where Krissy is now and always will be. She is at the bridge in a new young body enjoying all her new friends and she will be looking down on you both. But she is also in both of your hearts as well.
I know about the memories, the pain and sorrow that goes with them. I pray that in time your memories will bring back the joy as you remember the wonderful years she was with you and yours and that the sad ones will wash away.God Bless you both.----Jerry in Oklahoma.

Krissy, you know you were loved so very much by your Mom and Dad. You were a lucky girl to have them in your life as they were to have you in theirs. You are in their hearts forever.
CathyCouch

Registered:
Posts: 11
 #10 

My prayers are with you at this very hard time. I lost my little cat, Shasta, a little over a month ago. She was 16 and a half years old. This site has helped with the unbelievable pain of losing her...it will see you through losing your little one too. Come back as much as you can. We understand this pain like no others do. It really will help.

Steffi

Registered:
Posts: 180
 #11 
AllRealtor,
I lost my baby on March 3. He was 18 years old.
I know exactly how you are feeling. I am now the last living member of my family.  I buried my whole family - my mother being the last in 1997.
I knew when Dakotah died it would be unbearable, but I was and still am totally unprepared for the depth of my pain and sense of loss.  NOTHING has EVER affected me like this.
When he died, I died with him. There is no more joy or happiness, only sadness.  I cry all day and most of the night. 
It took me a long time to be able to sleep without him, and I still don't sleep too well. There are nights when I simply can't sleep at all.
I found that if I lay on the couch with the TV on, I could drift off to sleep for a little while and just do that most of the night. Please try sleeping in another room where you have some activity - like the TV going on.
I'm so sorry.
Steffi
Dakotah's Mom
Shiannon

Registered:
Posts: 76
 #12 
Allrealtor,

It could be me writing this post. It sounds exactly like my Jackson, a beautiful bichon/maltese. He was a real little man, kind, gentle and loving.
Like Steffi, when he died, I died with him.  There is no amount of pain that I have been through that can match what I am feeling right now. He was my life, with my husband and me for 12 and a half years. Through all the ups and downs, through pain, joy and illness...he was there to comfort me and lay beside me when I was feeling down.

Like Helen says...the memories are lurking in every corner. They are everywhere. Your baby is everywhere with you.

My boy lost most of his teeth as well, and his tongue would hang out occasionally. Your post reminded me of him again, and I weep for your sweet little baby Krissy and my baby Jackson.

Sometimes I can feel him with me. I talk to him every day and hope that he can hear me. Talk to your beautiful girl, it will help your grief.

It helps a little knowing that we share your grief and loss. We know how you are feeling. I have also lost my best friend and I wonder every day of my life now, how I am ever going to live without him. I know how you feel. My heart is with you and your beautiful little girl and my beautiful baby, Jackson.

Shiannon, Jacksons mummy

dolphinangel76

Registered:
Posts: 153
 #13 

I am so sorry you are in such pain. It's so hard learning to live without our babies. I can identify what you are going through. When I lost the love of my life, my 19 year old cat Bubba to Cancer last year it was so hard for me to put away his things. We had been caring for him since we found out he had Cancer. We had a kennel in our room and I was having to give him fluids and medications to keep him comfortable. When we sent him to the Bridge he was no longer in pain but it left such a huge hole. Not only that he was gone but, I had been fighting so hard to keep him here and now all that was over. I couldn't bear to put anything away for awhile. I was so afraid to make that final act. Putting that stuff away felt as though it was making Bubba's passing more real. And worse yet I didn't want to see his things either. The empty cage, his meds ect...
Anyway sorry if I'm rambling.


Please know that you are in my thoughts. You have definately come to the right place. Everyone here is so caring.


Hugs,  

   Dolphinangel

rupertsmum

Registered:
Posts: 820
 #14 

So sorry about the loss of Krissy.  I too felt exactly as you describe it.  The pain. numbness, shock and the total sadness.  I lost my cat Rupert almost 23 weeks ago and the pain is still raw.  I get through the days better if I switch off and are with people.  On my own I cry for him.  Family and friends don't understand. Come to this website, post a photo here and when you are ready write a journal, collect photos of Krissy.  All these things are therapeudic and sometimes that can help with your healing.  In time you will start to move on in your grieving.  Be kind to yourself and take one day at a time.  Regards Ruperts Mum

CindyH

Registered:
Posts: 577
 #15 
I am so deeply sorry for your loss.   I lost my 15 year old Maltese over a year ago.   My husband too bought her for me when we were first dating.   She was my everything.   It is still so hard for me.   I try to pass along to others that the deep raw pain that you feel now will lessen a bit in time.   It is still new.   When time goes by you will still be sad, still hurt, but not like this unbearable pain.   I honestly don't know how I got through such a hard dark time in my life.   The other thing that helped me was reading petloss books before I went to sleep.   I found comfort reading them.   The beginning is dreadfully hard.   Again, I am so so sorry.   I will keep you in my thoughts.

So many hugs to you!

Cindy
Merry's mom
Deepwoods

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #16 
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved dog.  If there is any painless way through the grief, I would love to know.  I think it is a time thing, but for me I have been sobbing buckets since we lost Ridge, our Rhodesian Ridgeback three weeks ago today.  Please know that my prayers are with you, and I hope you will find comfort through this site.  It is helping me to know that there are so many kind and loving people out there who do understand the intensity of the pain of losing our beloved pets...who were really the same as our children.  On Monday night I do plan to be here for the Candle Lighting Ceremony.  I hope that you will be too.  May God give you strength and comfort to bear this loss!

God's Peace,
Patty and David from Maine
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