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Steven

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Posts: 1
 #1 

I've had to bury 2 dogs in less than a year. My Beagle/Basset hound mix named Morgan and my yellow lab named Sadie.

Morgan died of liver cancer Last April. There were signs something was wrong but I miss-read all of them. Maybe
because they were the only dogs I've ever had as an adult and was inexperienced at this. 6 months before she died I
noticed a drop in her energy level but chalked it up to getting old since she had just turned 12. And 2 months
before died she got even more sluggish and withdrawn but thought it was depression because I had been working long
hours and it was usually too cold and dark outside by the time I'd get home from work for us to go for our walks.

I wasn't too worried when one day she started acting sick. It's not the first time she fell ill so I figured she'd
get better in a day or so. On the 3rd. day I realized it was something that needed medical attention so I got her to
the vet thinking she might have worms or a bacterial infection but was stunned to hear she had liver cancer. They
recomended putting her down right then and there. I couldn't bring myself to doing it at that time-I needed time to
think. I took her home and spent the evening at her side telling her I loved her and hoped the vet was wrong and
that she would get better. Next morning I got up for work, pulled her blanket over her, told her I loved her then
left for work. A few hours later my wife texted me that Morgan just died. I left work early to say goodbye and
buried her in the backyard she loved so much. The following week was hard. I was unprepared for it and felt terrible
for missing all the signs and for not doing something for her while there was still time.

Last October I had to put my yellow lab Sadie down. She was just 2 months short of her 14th. birthday. I can't say I
was unprepared for it-her health was slipping downward for about a year. I had to quit taking her for even short
walks about a year ago because she started having trouble walking.

She had good days and bad days in the year leading up to her death but the bad days were getting steadily worse. In
her last 2 weeks she had days where she couldn't lift herself up. I woke up in the morning twice to find she had
soiled herself because she probably couldn't get up and let us know she neede to go out. And it was heart breaking
to come home from work and see her try to stand and greet me only to collapse trying. That's when I decided it was
time.

She was doing OK the day she died but I knew there where more bad days to come and they'll just keep getting worse.
I decided that before I made a final decision I would ask the vet her opinion. She did an examination and found that
Sadie had a large mass and a smaller mass growing inside her so that settled it. It could have ruptured at any time
just like it did in Morgan and she could have bled to death internaly. I remembered the suffering Morgan felt in her
last week and I couldn't bear to see my Sadie go throught that too.

I elected to be by her side in her last moments to comfort her. She died peacefully in my arms. I still feel guilty
about it. At the vet she was her cheery old self and as she sat there on the floor of the vets office I struggled
with what we were about to do. When The vet entered the room and gave her the first shot that made her sleep she
crawled over to me for protection and the tears flowed as I appologized to her and begged her to forgive me.

Since they've passed my thoughts have bounced back and forth between feeling like I betrayed my best friends or
thinking of all the fun we've had over the years. At home, everywhere I look I see something that triggers a memory
of them. I remember how they once had to run, not walk, EVERYWHERE! So happy and full of life.
I still miss them terribly. The pain of losing them is slowly easing as time goes by and think of them every day.
[Resized_20180525_171254]

pansy

Registered:
Posts: 599
 #2 
Losing two furry friends in one year is really hard, and very painful.  So very sorry for your loss but glad to hear that your pain is slowly easing.  I've had a recent loss and I feel that there are short time periods of being ok and then sudden waves of sadness come out of nowhere.  Their lives just aren't long enough.
miggymok

Registered:
Posts: 41
 #3 
I'm so sorry that you lost them both so quickly. I think there are very few people who do not second guess their decision to end a much loved companion's life. I had to make that decision twice the last 5 years, the last one on October 28. It haunts me every waking moment, but I took the vet's advice and I can only hope I did the right thing. My beagle Mia could no longer go for walks and she had been refusing to eat for nearly three weeks. She was facing a prolonged and painful death from kidney disease. I struggle with whether I had the right to end her life, but I loved her enough to spare her the misery of the short time she had left. From your description of Sadie's illness, I think you did the best thing you could. From my own experience I can's say that you will ever be completely at peace with losing your Sadie but maybe it's good that it's so hard. It should be hard to end a life. For Morgan you did the very best you could at the time. You should not beat yourself up because you missed the signs of an illness that you did not expect. I hope you cherish your happy memories of both of them.
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