Registered: 1553727734 Posts: 1
We had to put down Our families 14 year old Bichon, Wini on Monday. Kidney and heart failure. She was the most amazing, loving, gentle dog I have ever known.
I don’t know how to deal with this. At first I cried, and then I became very angry. I was the last one to touch her and kiss her head before she fell asleep. They had to pull me away when it was time to let her go. I am lost. I feel so empty and so scared that this is what will happen to most animals I love. I have been crying uncontroably on and off for the past week. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t stop seeing her eyes, her sweet little face. As her breath started to slow- I held her and hummed “somewhere over the rainbow” while she watched me and licked my face. This moment keeps playing over and over and over again and I am so sad. I am so so so sad- it’s like someone has ripped my soul out and I can’t bear it. I need advice I need reassurance- I just feel like a shell walking around because all I want is to see her again. Please help me understand this first experience with death. I am broken. I am numb.
Registered: 1547824454 Posts: 36
Oh Andrea, I really feel your pain as most people on here will, its the most painful thing to go through. Its because we love so much and give our heart and soul to our pets that the grief is so intense. 3month on and I'm still trying to deal with the sudden loss of my beautiful red collie who was 4 days from being 14.
I wish I had the means to make it all better. Talking on here will help. Thinking of you and sending love.
Registered: 1565378436 Posts: 2
I feel your pain. The loss is unbearable. The tears will dry and you will carry on. You’ll start to remember your loved one with happiness not sadness. Remember all the joy they brought you, not the heartbreak of losing them. Thats what im telling myself in this heart wrenching moment. Give yourself time. X
Registered: 1444060919 Posts: 486
What is happening to you....the disturbing feelings, having not even a spark of hope...that is all grief. Grief sucks. Nothing bad (I mean the death yes, but what is happening to you)...nothing bad has happened to you. You are grieving. Grieving can feel like WE died. We feel as though our bodies and minds are dead or dying. Grief is the ultimate despair. Life's darkest hour. That's what happening to you. You have never felt this way before and can't get a grip on it because you have had no training on how to get a grip on it. The way to get a grip on it it to let it ride itself out. Grief is cyclical. The cycle can take years in some cases (yes, it can) but no one can tell you that for you it will take years. You have been plunged into a deep, dark place and no one else around you is experiencing it. You are scared and petrified. This is all going to change in low increments. It does not last. In the days ahead, the pain will start to ease. It will ease up on little bits. Sort of like when you are recovering from a physical injury. You start to have reprieves from the pain, but the injury is still there. And you can go back to feeling it because you have not totally healed. Same with the grief. It hasn't left you just because you start to feel better. The "grief hurt" just like a physical wound is still there. The little breaks from it are just signs that you are healing.
You are processing the loss right now. Processing means thinking about what happened and feeling the feelings. Time is going to take care of you. But much much time. God bless you, Grieivng Mom