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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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Andrea323

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Posts: 1
 #1 
We had to put down Our families 14 year old Bichon, Wini on Monday. Kidney and heart failure. She was the most amazing, loving, gentle dog I have ever known.

I don’t know how to deal with this. At first I cried, and then I became very angry. I was the last one to touch her and kiss her head before she fell asleep. They had to pull me away when it was time to let her go. I am lost. I feel so empty and so scared that this is what will happen to most animals I love.

I have been crying uncontroably on and off for the past week. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t stop seeing her eyes, her sweet little face. As her breath started to slow- I held her and hummed “somewhere over the rainbow” while she watched me and licked my face.

This moment keeps playing over and over and over again and I am so sad. I am so so so sad- it’s like someone has ripped my soul out and I can’t bear it. I need advice I need reassurance- I just feel like a shell walking around because all I want is to see her again.

Please help me understand this first experience with death. I am broken. I am numb.



Loz

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #2 
Oh Andrea, I really feel your pain as most people on here will, its the most painful thing to go through. Its because we love so much and give our heart and soul to our pets that the grief is so intense. 3month on and  I'm still trying to deal with the sudden loss of my beautiful red collie who was 4 days from being 14.
I wish I had the means to make it all better. Talking  on here will help. Thinking of you and sending love.  
Jayne1

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Posts: 2
 #3 
I feel your pain. The loss is unbearable. The tears will dry and you will carry on. You’ll start to remember your loved one with happiness not sadness. Remember all the joy they brought you, not the heartbreak of losing them. Thats what im telling myself in this heart wrenching moment. Give yourself time. X
grievingmom

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Posts: 504
 #4 
What is happening to you....the disturbing feelings, having not even a spark of hope...that is all grief. Grief sucks. Nothing bad (I mean the death yes, but what is happening to you)...nothing bad has happened to you. You are grieving. Grieving can feel like WE died. We feel as though our bodies and minds are dead or dying. Grief is the ultimate despair. Life's darkest hour. That's what happening to you. You have never felt this way before and can't get a grip on it because you have had no training on how to get a grip on it. The way to get a grip on it it to let it ride itself out. Grief is cyclical. The cycle can take years in some cases (yes, it can) but no one can tell you that for you it will take years.  You have been plunged into a deep, dark place and no one else around you is experiencing it. You are scared and petrified. This is all going to change in low increments. It does not last. In the days ahead, the pain will start to ease. It will ease up on little bits. Sort of like when you are recovering from a physical injury. You start to have reprieves from the pain, but the injury is still there. And you can go back to feeling it because you have not totally healed. Same with the grief. It hasn't left you just because you start to feel better. The "grief hurt" just like a physical wound is still there. The little breaks from it are just signs that you are healing.

You are processing the loss right now. Processing means thinking about what happened and feeling the feelings.

Time is going to take care of you. But much much time.

God bless you,
Grieivng Mom
chihuahua07

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #5 
yes. the pain is UNBEARABLE. I lost my little life companion just 2 weeks ago and it has not been any easier. He was a huge presence in my life and I loved him beyond words. Sadly I have no advice or consolation because of going through the same horror as you. The only thing I look for are signs from him in various ways and forms.

Loz

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #6 
Grievingmom is so right.
If you read my post I was totally devastated when we lost my beautiful Berry on new years eve 2018, it was so sudden , she was 4 days from her 14th birthday. My life had ended too that night, Berry WAS MY LIFE! 
I went through months of feeling numb with no joy in my heart no spark. Why was I surviving without her.
You will feel that your heart has been ripped out , I did and I didn't want to live , what was the point. Then one day at the end of April I came home from work and the sun was shinning in our living room and the easy chair was full of Berry's hair. Also my reading glasses that I'd left on the coffee table were on the floor. No one had been in the house all day. I few weeks later I came downstairs and could smell Berry's wee and noticed a stain which wasn't there before in front of the same chair. I think it was her way of telling us that she is still with us. Also I had a big decision to make about work and took myself off for a walk. I felt Berry walking beside me and saying " live for today Mam" Since then I feel better knowing her spirit is still with me and feel like me again! I thought I would be in that dark place forever but its true what they say you have to give yourself time to grieve and in your own way. I still miss her every day, I talk to her every day but rather than dwell on the horrible night I think of all the good time and the adventures we had. I paint rocks and place them wherever we walked as a memorial to her. It means she is still out and about. 
Give yourself time , be kind to yourself and think how lucky you are to have had that love. 
My thoughts are with you.
SunriseSunset

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Posts: 8
 #7 
It is gut wrenching and I am sorry for your loss. We lost our little guy two weeks ago today. Today was bad. I broke down in tears again. I just can't believe he's gone. I started talking to him as if he was still here and asked him to come see me some time and let me know he's okay.
Luvaqua21

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #8 
Grievingmom, thank you. I needed to hear that. So true.
grievingmom

Registered:
Posts: 504
 #9 
You are welcome Luvaqua21
 
 

 

 
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